Friday, January 06, 2012

962 There Is No Sanity Clause (With apologies to Groucho Marx

962  There Is No Sanity Clause (With apologies to Groucho Marx)

The title is a line from “A Night at the Opera.”  And Groucho wasn’t talking about our present soap opera, the run-up to a presidential election.  Groucho also said “Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”

The cast of the soap opera should be required to sign a sanity pledge if not a clause.  In which case, the only candidate for the nomination now would be … no one.

It’s nearly a given that Obama will be the Democratic Party’s nominee unless he pulls an LBJ and quits the race.  The Republican contest is a fun gathering of refugees from the padded rooms of Bellevue. And anyone who takes any of them seriously should join them back at the padding, where surely they will land after the white-coated men with the armored trucks and the huge butterfly nets track them down.

We’ve had crazies in office.  We HAVE crazies in office, and not just the president.   But this year’s crop is exceptional... a vintage year.

Let’s see if we can break them down...

1. The delusional:  Gingrich, who plays the part of The Smartest Guy in the Room.  Paul, who is living in a dream world and wants you to join him.

2. The goofy: Huntsman, who seems to think he’s Peter Pan.  Perry, who doesn’t think anything and is always striking poses along the old Chisholm Trail.

3. The Kleptomaniac:  Normally a guy who steals your clothes from the dorm room you two share.  Romney steals (and discards) ideas, personalities and hair-dos.  And his plastic sincerity is fake.

4.  The Just Plain Nuts: Santorum.

Lock ‘em back up and this time, make sure the straitjackets fit better.

Shrapnel:

--Here’s why Bachmann dropped out of the Republican presidential primaries after the drubbing in Iowa and Perry didn’t.  His campaign has a few million to fritter away yet and hers doesn’t.  Obviously, her lack of support is an anti-woman thing and has nothing to do with her standing in on the sanity scale, because what would Iowans know about that?

--Happy Birthday, Stephen Hawking, the British physicist who will turn 70 on Sunday, January 8th.  Seventy isn’t considered very old these days, but for a guy who has had Lou Gehrig’s disease for about 50 years, he’s amazing.

--Sunday is also the 198th anniversary of the Battle of New Orleans, which took place two weeks after the end of the war of 1812.  Word hadn’t gotten down to either side, so they fought... believing the war was still on.  Where were Twitter and Facebook when you needed them?

Song for this coming Sunday


Have You Noticed... ATT charges a 15% “recharge fee” if you add minutes to your calling card by calling them, and they don’t disclose this anywhere in the reams of fine print on the back of the card?

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012

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