960 This Is the First Month of the Rest of Your Year
You’d think that after 40 failed years of sloganeering the Hallmark-y cutsie pop-psych self improvement types would reassess, realize they are passing gas in the ocean and stop. But no. The Life-As-Fortune-Cookie crowd may not be raking in the moolah it once did. But members are taking their own advice, and keeping at it. Some favorites:
Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining: Yeah, except the one over you. It’s lined with rain or snow and you’re going to get flippin’ soaked! Especially if you paid for the book in which this nonsense first appeared.
It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn: No it isn’t.
What Doesn’t Kill Me Makes Me Stronger. No it doesn’t.
The Glass is Half Full, Not Half Empty: The glass is holding 50% of its capacity.
Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better. Oh, yeah?
The older the violin, the sweeter the music. If the violin was junk to begin with, it ain’t going to turn into a Stradivarius because it’s old.
How about this one from Dr. Joyce “I’m a Ditz” Brothers: “If you want to be a success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” Sure, and be sure to spruce up that refrigerator box you live in while you’re at it.
Then there’s this one from Michael Jordan: “If you put in the work, the results will come.” So don’t lose those dreams of NBA stardom, all you 5’6” uncoordinated nearsighted guys.
Let bygones be bygones. That’s no fun.
Sleep with dogs, arise with fleas. Only if you’re juicer than the dog.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. As Barack Obama said in ‘08 Yes We Can.”
And the ultimate from 19th-20th century self help guru Napoleon Hill: If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it. Except if you’re a 5’6” uncoordinated nearsighted guy trying to be Michael Jordan.
So look at yourself in the mirror this morning and tell yourself you’re beautiful, you deserve love, you deserve prosperity. (Are you? Do you?) And remind yourself that this is the first month of the rest of your year.
Shrapnel:
--Thanks for all the comments on WestraDamus-2011. Each year we consider dropping the feature. But each year things get so preposterous it’s impossible to stop.
--It took Verizon Wireless only about a day to drop the proposed $2 fee for paying our bills on line. Huge customer backlash. We were all getting ready to show them what happens when WE drop the calls.
--This is being posted on 1/2/12. How many of your resolutions have you already broken? How many will you break today?
Have You Noticed... almost all people who go on TV and say they’ve had interactions with spirits and ghosts are morbidly obese middle aged women from small towns?
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012
You’d think that after 40 failed years of sloganeering the Hallmark-y cutsie pop-psych self improvement types would reassess, realize they are passing gas in the ocean and stop. But no. The Life-As-Fortune-Cookie crowd may not be raking in the moolah it once did. But members are taking their own advice, and keeping at it. Some favorites:
Every Cloud Has a Silver Lining: Yeah, except the one over you. It’s lined with rain or snow and you’re going to get flippin’ soaked! Especially if you paid for the book in which this nonsense first appeared.
It’s Always Darkest Before the Dawn: No it isn’t.
What Doesn’t Kill Me Makes Me Stronger. No it doesn’t.
The Glass is Half Full, Not Half Empty: The glass is holding 50% of its capacity.
Every day in every way, I’m getting better and better. Oh, yeah?
The older the violin, the sweeter the music. If the violin was junk to begin with, it ain’t going to turn into a Stradivarius because it’s old.
How about this one from Dr. Joyce “I’m a Ditz” Brothers: “If you want to be a success, start thinking of yourself as a success.” Sure, and be sure to spruce up that refrigerator box you live in while you’re at it.
Then there’s this one from Michael Jordan: “If you put in the work, the results will come.” So don’t lose those dreams of NBA stardom, all you 5’6” uncoordinated nearsighted guys.
Let bygones be bygones. That’s no fun.
Sleep with dogs, arise with fleas. Only if you’re juicer than the dog.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. As Barack Obama said in ‘08 Yes We Can.”
And the ultimate from 19th-20th century self help guru Napoleon Hill: If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it. Except if you’re a 5’6” uncoordinated nearsighted guy trying to be Michael Jordan.
So look at yourself in the mirror this morning and tell yourself you’re beautiful, you deserve love, you deserve prosperity. (Are you? Do you?) And remind yourself that this is the first month of the rest of your year.
Shrapnel:
--Thanks for all the comments on WestraDamus-2011. Each year we consider dropping the feature. But each year things get so preposterous it’s impossible to stop.
--It took Verizon Wireless only about a day to drop the proposed $2 fee for paying our bills on line. Huge customer backlash. We were all getting ready to show them what happens when WE drop the calls.
--This is being posted on 1/2/12. How many of your resolutions have you already broken? How many will you break today?
Have You Noticed... almost all people who go on TV and say they’ve had interactions with spirits and ghosts are morbidly obese middle aged women from small towns?
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012
No comments:
Post a Comment