Monday, April 30, 2012

1011 The Destruction of New York Chapter MCXXIII

1011 The Destruction of New York Chapter MCXXIII

Green Taxis?  APPLE Green.  That’s what the mayor calls it.  Oh, boy.  Yet another improvement!  Can you just hear it now “hey, let’s hail a green cab!”  It’s the kind of green you get in a bathroom sample when you have a bad liver.

These are special new taxis, the kind that are going to put the yellow cabs out of business or at least devalue the medallion, leaving dozens of guys named Ahmed deep in debt with little chance of paying off the loan.  (Is there a bailout for cabbies whose medallions are under water?)  Devalue.  But not reduce the cost which at latest report is over half a million.  Some say closer to $800-thousand.  But there have been some sold at auction for $1 million.  (These are not typos.)

The Kermit Kars are for the exclusive use of the outer boroughs, where you can’t get a regular cab, nohow.  The object is to improve cab service.  And to shut out the black car drivers who now pick up passengers illegally.

New license fees.  And now you won’t have to stand on Queens Boulevard for three hours in the rain to get a cab to Harlem or to East New York, Brooklyn.  Oh.  Wait.  That probably won’t happen with the baby-poo green cars any more now than it does with the Yellows.

But they’re mostly going to be hybrids.  Nice.  That’s not going to affect the gas usurers of midtown west.  Probably going to spawn a whole new breed of battery charge usurers.  

The real cure would be to get the rackets out of the yellow cab business -- the real rackets and the municipal racket.

From the same book of horrors:  By the time you read or hear this, the World Trade Center will once again be the tallest building in the city.  It’s not nearly done, but workers are scheduled to put some structural beams in that will raise the height to 1271 feet.  The Empire State Building’s roof is a mere 1250.  The antenna brings it to 1454.  One World Trade will get a spire as well.  Plus only King Kong can get a decent view from either of the antennas.  

The Sears Tower, or whatever it’s now called... Taipei 101... the Burj Kahlifa all measure taller than Empire.  But none measures up to it.

And no dung-green Prius is ever going to measure up to a Checker Marathon.
Shrapnel:

--It was slow at the all night shoe store and two clerks, one a man, one a woman decided to take a sex break and were caught.  They were fired on the spot for being discovered in a compromising position.  This was true...he wanted one way, she wanted another and so they compromised.

--Speaking of which, the Secret Service will dispatch chaperones for agents on some of their trips, especially outside the country.  After which they’ll probably have to send chaperones for the chaperones.  And then, chaperones for chaperones for the... oh well, you get it, right?

--Busy week for the Secret Service.  They cleared Ted Nugent of threatening Obama.  But the brass at Ft. Knox banned his scheduled show anyway.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2012

1 comment:

Dianne said...

Age is only a number... a frame of mind...as I try to tell Mr. Hub.
Love this food for thought however. Thanks for keeping our minds exercised.