Wednesday, September 07, 2016

1691 Why is Everything so Complicated?

Nothing is simple anymore.

Looked under your car’s hood?  What is all that stuff?  And where is that mystical deity of the Dodge or the mystical brain of the Buick -- the computer -- anyway?

It’s in there somewhere. Hiding.  Governing your every mile.  Constantly monitoring the status of your pollution level (with certain well documented exceptions.)

Like Santa Claus,
It knows when you are sleeping
Or badly changing lanes.
It knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good to av-oid pains.

But it’s not just cars.  Try to wade through the jumble of blah-blah in your contract with the cable company. You say you have no contract?  Sure you do. It’s just called something else, usually “terms and conditions.”

Try to wade through the jumble of blah blah with your cell phone or internet provider.  Same thing.

Ever read a credit card’s fine print?  It’s designed to put you to sleep.  But don’t worry.  If you cross some imaginary line, the issuer will find a way to let you know and in no uncertain or inexpensive terms.

The simple act of writing a traffic summons in the age of high speed chases and high speed communications takes forever.  Great incentive for the cop to not meet his quota:  He has to check the entire country’s database to make sure there’s no bench warrant waiting for you because you spat illegally on a sidewalk six years 11 months and five days ago in Needles, California.  And you have to wait.

Phone “trees” almost all start out with “Our menu has changed…”  and then there’s nothing to do but wait while you fume over … what went wrong with your newly installed Windows 10 or to make an appointment with the dentist.

Even vending machines have gotten hard to use.  At one time you put in your penny, turned a knob and a piece of gum dropped down the slot for you.  Sometimes.

Now, you need an engineering degree to get a coke or a bag of peanuts.

At least your quest for an imprisoned Kit Kat Bar doesn’t make you wait and listen to 78 choices.  At least not yet.


--The president of the Philippines, Rodrigo Dirtbag, has apologized for calling President Obama an SOB. Actually, he was helping Obama by reminding him if he really were one, he would have gotten more done. And with fewer idiotic sandbagging from Congress.

--If you want to see a reality-twisting legal thriller have we got a deal for you!  The great mystery of who caused the New Jersey “Bridgegate” traffic jams is to be solved in court this week. Jury selection starts tomorrow … if enough potential jurors can get there in heavy traffic.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2016

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