4748 Hopes for the New Year

 There it is.  The whole year ahead. A blank slate.  Now how are we going to fill it?  Of course, it isn’t entirely up to us. But we can all do our parts.  Some hopes from this corner:

 --The people who want freedom from protection against the Pandemic will hold a mass gathering at which they will be free to infect one another but not the rest of us.

--The people who want to soak the poor will hold their own gathering.  If the first stadium is full, a second will have about the same crowd.

--Sane people who drink will drink sanely at home.

--People who want to soak the rich will learn what compromise means, its place in this country’s history and how to use it.

--The people who are afraid of socialism will learn its definition and maybe reduce some of its fears.

--The insane drug cartels will allow sharecropping.

--The insane war on drugs will splinter into the organizational version of sharecropping and stop throwing federal tax dollars away, maybe use some of that money to freed bucks to fix a highway or extend food stamp benefits.

--Prosecutors who steadfastly refuse to allow parole or clemency or pardons for the known wrongly convicted will find a stadium of their own.

--The country’s beleaguered newspapers will earn enough from web subscriptions to hire a reporter to make telephone calls to update outdated stories that remain on their page instead of just letting them remain on their page.

--Someone will write a murder mystery without stealing the material from their files as former prosecutors or homicide cops or postal cops or railroad cops and then stop lying about any resemblance to a true story will be a coincidental.

--Megamart will wait until after Labor Day to start playing Christmas songs on their public address systems and will open the customer service desks before mid-morning.

--Science will discover a way to reduce the mosquito population without killing the whole eco system.

--No one will shoot Bambi’s dad and then not even cook and eat the carcass.

--Pigeons will learn to use public restrooms.

--No major league baseball pitcher will throw a spitball.

--No major league football player will deflate a football.

--No major sports commentator will pretend to be Mel Allen or Howard Cosell. 

--People who idolize mountain lions will come to realize they don’t roar, they “meow” although it’s a deep, loud but completely recognizable outcry.

--The Confederate States of America and its occupied territories in the mountain and desert west will stop pretending they won the War of Southern Aggression.

--And finally… Thanks to the fakely retired WestraDamus for coming out of his fake retirement to contribute his bs to this post.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Any Questions? wesrichards@gmail.com

© WR 2021