1136 A Promise Kept
The other day, Andy Borowitz in the New Yorker Magazine wrote a story about the Republicans “reacting” in advance to President Obama’s State of the Union address. It was meant as parody, but he pretty much got it right. It didn’t take much to anticipate what the President would say or how the “loyal” opposition would reply.
So here at the Wessays Mountainside Laboratory and research center we decided to conduct an experiment. The question: can a political semi-junkie, a news junkie and a TV junkie completely avoid watching this stuff for the first time in... well, a long time?
We started with a pledge. No speeches on Tuesday night, no reading of transcripts Wednesday morning.
Contrary to popular belief, conventional wisdom and several forecasts, it was an easy promise to keep and to keep without regret.
What is hard to understand is why there is a “rebuttal.”
Article II section 3 of the constitution says this: The President “...shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them...” That’s it.
So why have a rebuttal at all? Especially one that can be forecast in advance so accurately as to have it pass for a humor column. Is this an attempt to be “Fair and Balanced?” Is it because the State of the Union Address (it can be in a note, it doesn’t have to be on TV and it doesn’t have to happen every year) is essentially a campaign speech?
What ever happened to the idea that when a news story breaks reporters then follow it up by seeking reaction from key people with some sway over things. Or even “persons in the street” where dolts and Einsteins alike get to voice their opinions, display their dolitism and their smartitude.
Oh, wait. That’s work. It’s much easier to plunk Marco Rubio or Rand Paul in front of a microphone and let them prattle than it is to question them. Yeah. That must be it.
Shrapnel:
--Love how deregulation is increasing competition these days. Everyone’s combining... American Airlines and US Airways, Budweiser and Corona, Berkshire Hathaway and Heinz, Comcast eating the rest of NBC, on and on. Reminder: these are not mergers -- there hasn’t been a real merger since Chemical Bank and Chase, and even that eventually turned into a buyout -- these are takeovers.
--Soon everything will be one thing, a giant corporation that owns everything. Then we can change the name of the country to the United State. Think of the savings and profitability we can achieve by printing one less “s.”
--The body in the Big Bear bungalow has been positively identified as California’s crazy cop-killer cop Christopher Dorner. Thanks to the San Bernardino Sheriff’s Dept we are spared the dreadful drag of a trial that will last forever. Guns don’t kill people... fires do.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
1135 The Whiskey Rebellion
1135 The Whiskey Rebellion
No, not the tea party-like tax uprising of 1791. This one’s happening right now. And unlike then, the ire is directed not at the government but at the distillers of Maker’s Mark Bourbon which is pretty good if you like a Southern drink. It’s also very fancy and fairly expensive and at 90 proof (that’s 45% alcohol for you non-drinkers,) it’s extremely potent.
In New York, the drink of the older natives is Rye or Rye-and … something. No one batted an eye years ago when the equally potent Fleischmann’s whiskey went from 90 proof to 80 proof for its bottom shelf starter booze, but Fleischmann’s is only a few steps up from a medicinal rub and priced accordingly. And you still can get the 90 proof version if you hunt carefully in bad neighborhoods.
Maker’s Mark hangs its water-down on increased demand. It’s going from 90 proof to 84. Eighty four? This was announced only recently. But as you know, adult beverages are aged for a few years. And it was a few years back that they made the decisions that affects buyers today. They just kept their mouths shut about it until now.
Distillery boss Rob Sanders says no one will notice the difference. Not even their taste testers could tell, he claims.
Oh? NPR broke into its endless stream of long, sound effect-filled boring reports about third world transportation disasters, water shortages in countries no one ever heard of and fundraising marathons to announce that in Kentucky, bourbon country, this move is not easily swallowed. Kentuckians are switching in droves to Knob Creek and other fancy brands. (The Old Grand-dad Old Crow Wild Turkey crowd doesn’t care. They’re drinking the instant coffees of bourbon anyway.)
All of this has an economic impact, too. The original stuff gave you more bang for the buck. So now, if you drink it at all, you have to drink more of it. And you can bet the price isn’t going down.
“We study this kind of impact a lot,” says economist Bertha Fumpfhausen-Yang of The Pennsylvania State University College of Hospitality in State College, PA. “As one of the country’s premier drinking towns, we keep an eye both on the impact on our student consumers and the 482 bars and (state owned) liquor stores that serve them. This is bad news all around.”
So MM probably hopes the snob drinkers of the rest of the country and in Europe and Asia will just accept the change. Economist Fumpfhausen-Yang
doesn’t think so: “Our drinkers will probably switch to 151 Rum, which is much more expensive but is 75.5% alcohol. One drink will make MM look like mountain dew... the real thing, not the soda.
We leave this topic now with a song.
Shrapnel:
--Your correspondent promised himself that he wouldn’t watch the state of the union speech and kept his promise. It doesn’t matter what President Obama proposes, the Republicans in congress will find a way to stall it. Their definition of good faith negotiating is to put on their Joe Cool sunglasses and turn off their hearing aids and voting “no” on everything that’s decent, fair and feasible.
--GE is selling its remaining 49% of NBC to Comcast, and doing it earlier than they’d planned because the price is right and the interest is low. No major objections here except they’re buying the company’s real estate along with it... including the condo floors of what was once called the RCA building and now is the GE building... and probably will re-name it the Comcast building. While Comcast has so far been a reasonable steward of the NBC legacy, but naming a historic major landmark building for itself in the heart of New York is blasphemous.
(Self plagiarism alert: The final shrapnel item was written for this post, but appeared earlier on the New York Radio Message Board website.)
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
No, not the tea party-like tax uprising of 1791. This one’s happening right now. And unlike then, the ire is directed not at the government but at the distillers of Maker’s Mark Bourbon which is pretty good if you like a Southern drink. It’s also very fancy and fairly expensive and at 90 proof (that’s 45% alcohol for you non-drinkers,) it’s extremely potent.
In New York, the drink of the older natives is Rye or Rye-and … something. No one batted an eye years ago when the equally potent Fleischmann’s whiskey went from 90 proof to 80 proof for its bottom shelf starter booze, but Fleischmann’s is only a few steps up from a medicinal rub and priced accordingly. And you still can get the 90 proof version if you hunt carefully in bad neighborhoods.
Maker’s Mark hangs its water-down on increased demand. It’s going from 90 proof to 84. Eighty four? This was announced only recently. But as you know, adult beverages are aged for a few years. And it was a few years back that they made the decisions that affects buyers today. They just kept their mouths shut about it until now.
Distillery boss Rob Sanders says no one will notice the difference. Not even their taste testers could tell, he claims.
Oh? NPR broke into its endless stream of long, sound effect-filled boring reports about third world transportation disasters, water shortages in countries no one ever heard of and fundraising marathons to announce that in Kentucky, bourbon country, this move is not easily swallowed. Kentuckians are switching in droves to Knob Creek and other fancy brands. (The Old Grand-dad Old Crow Wild Turkey crowd doesn’t care. They’re drinking the instant coffees of bourbon anyway.)
All of this has an economic impact, too. The original stuff gave you more bang for the buck. So now, if you drink it at all, you have to drink more of it. And you can bet the price isn’t going down.
“We study this kind of impact a lot,” says economist Bertha Fumpfhausen-Yang of The Pennsylvania State University College of Hospitality in State College, PA. “As one of the country’s premier drinking towns, we keep an eye both on the impact on our student consumers and the 482 bars and (state owned) liquor stores that serve them. This is bad news all around.”
So MM probably hopes the snob drinkers of the rest of the country and in Europe and Asia will just accept the change. Economist Fumpfhausen-Yang
doesn’t think so: “Our drinkers will probably switch to 151 Rum, which is much more expensive but is 75.5% alcohol. One drink will make MM look like mountain dew... the real thing, not the soda.
We leave this topic now with a song.
Shrapnel:
--Your correspondent promised himself that he wouldn’t watch the state of the union speech and kept his promise. It doesn’t matter what President Obama proposes, the Republicans in congress will find a way to stall it. Their definition of good faith negotiating is to put on their Joe Cool sunglasses and turn off their hearing aids and voting “no” on everything that’s decent, fair and feasible.
--GE is selling its remaining 49% of NBC to Comcast, and doing it earlier than they’d planned because the price is right and the interest is low. No major objections here except they’re buying the company’s real estate along with it... including the condo floors of what was once called the RCA building and now is the GE building... and probably will re-name it the Comcast building. While Comcast has so far been a reasonable steward of the NBC legacy, but naming a historic major landmark building for itself in the heart of New York is blasphemous.
(Self plagiarism alert: The final shrapnel item was written for this post, but appeared earlier on the New York Radio Message Board website.)
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
Monday, February 11, 2013
1134 Technology Fever
1134 Technology Fever
Technology. Everything has technology. While this is true, it's only recently that anyone -- make that everyone-- seems to have to say so. Maybe it's a substitute for "latest" or "newest" or something that includes innovation that the others lack.
But c'mon guys. Technology is fine when you apply the description to things like LCD lightbulbs or the latest flat screen TV or even those awful and distracting computerized controls in the new cars. But laundry detergent? Tooth brushes?
Did you know, for example, that Tink’s B-Tech laundry detergent uses “Byotrol Technology?” Bet not. Becha don’t know what that is and that probably you’ve never heard of Byotrol Technology. Other obscure brands have other technologies.
Okay, how about a brand you HAVE heard of. Oxyclean uses oxygen bleach technology. Not just oxygen bleach, mind you, but oxygen bleach TECHNOLOGY.
Back in 1914 when Proctor & Gamble came up with its very first detergent they called it Oxydol. Guess what? Yep, oxygen bleach. No technology. Just oxygen bleach.
A well known hair brush uses Gemstone technology to make its bristles. It’s a hairbrush, fer cryin’ out loud. The “technology” involved is attaching crushed Tourmaline and silicon. Granted it’s more high tech than pig bristles or nylon, c’mon. Don’t sell your Intel shares.
Wella hair dye features “ShineGuard Technology” whatever that is.
Bounty Towels have “trap and lock” technology.
The office supply boutique Levenger uses the word on nearly every page of its catalog. But only because it struggles to create and then meet the need for binders and covers for your iPad or phone while basically it grinds out stuff for use in the offices of 1910.
Now, what kind of animal is missing from this technology-crazed crowd? Why, it’s actual technology companies! You never see the word in an ad for Microsoft or Intel or Apple, LG, Sony, or Boeing. Why not?
Corporate analyst Anka Blanca of Slivovitz Strategic Partners in Prestina, Illinois says “it’s because it’s self evident.”
Every company boasts of technology except technology companies?
So here we have another word that will soon lose its meaning. It’s right up there with “solution,” “premium” and “awesome.”
Shrapnel:
--Speaking of technology, here’s the latest from The Other Wes on the Wes Coast who says his favorite thing about weather reporters is how much they're pushing high definition. Do I really need to see the fog snow and rain in HD... HD fog? What's next, HD pitch black and HD static?
--The pope is taking early retirement at 85, citing age and infirmity, the first to step down since the 1400s. Here’s a refresher for smoke watchers: White means we found our guy, black means we’re still looking. For reservations call Ticketmaster and remember, both Rome and Vatican City have anti scalping laws.
--Senate Republicans, in a show of true patriotism, have figured out a way to gut the Consumer Protection agency and the SEC, two arms of the government that actually get the job done. In doing that, they make life tough and costly for some of the parties biggest supporters, the banking and securities industries. Great news, because for a while it looked like the bankers and brokers were going to have to play straight with us … and what fun is that?
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
Technology. Everything has technology. While this is true, it's only recently that anyone -- make that everyone-- seems to have to say so. Maybe it's a substitute for "latest" or "newest" or something that includes innovation that the others lack.
But c'mon guys. Technology is fine when you apply the description to things like LCD lightbulbs or the latest flat screen TV or even those awful and distracting computerized controls in the new cars. But laundry detergent? Tooth brushes?
Did you know, for example, that Tink’s B-Tech laundry detergent uses “Byotrol Technology?” Bet not. Becha don’t know what that is and that probably you’ve never heard of Byotrol Technology. Other obscure brands have other technologies.
Okay, how about a brand you HAVE heard of. Oxyclean uses oxygen bleach technology. Not just oxygen bleach, mind you, but oxygen bleach TECHNOLOGY.
Back in 1914 when Proctor & Gamble came up with its very first detergent they called it Oxydol. Guess what? Yep, oxygen bleach. No technology. Just oxygen bleach.
A well known hair brush uses Gemstone technology to make its bristles. It’s a hairbrush, fer cryin’ out loud. The “technology” involved is attaching crushed Tourmaline and silicon. Granted it’s more high tech than pig bristles or nylon, c’mon. Don’t sell your Intel shares.
Wella hair dye features “ShineGuard Technology” whatever that is.
Bounty Towels have “trap and lock” technology.
The office supply boutique Levenger uses the word on nearly every page of its catalog. But only because it struggles to create and then meet the need for binders and covers for your iPad or phone while basically it grinds out stuff for use in the offices of 1910.
Now, what kind of animal is missing from this technology-crazed crowd? Why, it’s actual technology companies! You never see the word in an ad for Microsoft or Intel or Apple, LG, Sony, or Boeing. Why not?
Corporate analyst Anka Blanca of Slivovitz Strategic Partners in Prestina, Illinois says “it’s because it’s self evident.”
Every company boasts of technology except technology companies?
So here we have another word that will soon lose its meaning. It’s right up there with “solution,” “premium” and “awesome.”
Shrapnel:
--Speaking of technology, here’s the latest from The Other Wes on the Wes Coast who says his favorite thing about weather reporters is how much they're pushing high definition. Do I really need to see the fog snow and rain in HD... HD fog? What's next, HD pitch black and HD static?
--The pope is taking early retirement at 85, citing age and infirmity, the first to step down since the 1400s. Here’s a refresher for smoke watchers: White means we found our guy, black means we’re still looking. For reservations call Ticketmaster and remember, both Rome and Vatican City have anti scalping laws.
--Senate Republicans, in a show of true patriotism, have figured out a way to gut the Consumer Protection agency and the SEC, two arms of the government that actually get the job done. In doing that, they make life tough and costly for some of the parties biggest supporters, the banking and securities industries. Great news, because for a while it looked like the bankers and brokers were going to have to play straight with us … and what fun is that?
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
Friday, February 08, 2013
1133 How To Cover a Storm
1133 How to Cover a Storm
With snow falling, not exactly a winter aberration, it’s time to refresh our memories of how to report it.
This one has caused a bank-run on the word “brace.” You see it in every headline. “Northeast bracing...” “New England braces...” other than that... it’s a storm. (How do you brace for a storm? Do you stand outside at attention and wait for it to hit? Put on suspenders?)
Meteorologists will tell you that each storm has a distinct personality, a unique behavior and its own fur coat. This is not true. It's the same damn thing over and over.
And they're all covered by reporters and producers and camera crews in the same way.
First, there's the run-up. When the Big One is forecast, it is necessary to dispatch reporters to the barn or garage where they keep the plows and the sand trucks. They'll set up the picture so there's some poor beleaguered guy in need of a shave, bundled up and with a watch cap on in the center. In the background will be huge stacks of bags of something, most likely sand or salt and fork lifts going back and forth carrying smaller stacks of bags from one side of the room to another. No one has ever determined why the fork lifts have to move the stuff from side to side when the entrance to the barn or garage is where the camera is standing. Probably they have to move the stuff under their contracts, but don't want to risk moving it so as to bury the poor beleaguered guy in need of a shave, bundled up and with a watch cap. Or the camera.
The guy will then say something like "we're ready for this one, Bob, we have X tons of salt and X tons of sand and we're in good shape." The reporter then peers into the camera with that oh-so-sincere and serious look and says something like "...so we'll soon see all of these men and women out on the roads, clearing the paths ... blah blah blah..."
When the snow starts, possibly a day later, the Street Cams take over. The news anchor will go from outdoor scene to outdoor scene showing you, the viewer, what it looks like on this road and that corner.
Then the meteorologist steps in and talks in front of colorful charts that show the projected path of the storm and seven different alternatives in case the first is wrong. By the time that's finished, you wish you were watching the shopping channel.
Finally, comes the snow. So now it's time to bundle up the reporters and send them out into chin-high drifts. If there aren't chin-high drifts, seat them on hip high drifts. If there aren't hip high drifts just let 'em stand up and prattle.
Every damned one of them is the same. Only the punch line differs. There are two possibilities: (1) "We made it through the storm! or (2) We dodged the bullet this time.
(Portions of the above were excavated and scraped from a similar piece in 2010.)
Shrapnel:
--Are you sick enough of those “we’ll double the offer, just pay separate shipping and handling” commercials? Do you realize that “handling” is a profit center and that usually, the one + one free = 1.5 after you pay all the fees? Anyone out there can use half a frying pan?
--What’s all the fuss about drones? They’re just fine as any player of banjo, dulcimer or bagpipes will tell you. And drones have been running both the government and many private corporations for centuries.
--The “Atlas Shrugged” movies were box office bombs. So what do the filmmakers plan to do? Why, make Part III. Maybe they’re trying to achieve cult status like “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.”
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2010, 2013
With snow falling, not exactly a winter aberration, it’s time to refresh our memories of how to report it.
This one has caused a bank-run on the word “brace.” You see it in every headline. “Northeast bracing...” “New England braces...” other than that... it’s a storm. (How do you brace for a storm? Do you stand outside at attention and wait for it to hit? Put on suspenders?)
Meteorologists will tell you that each storm has a distinct personality, a unique behavior and its own fur coat. This is not true. It's the same damn thing over and over.
And they're all covered by reporters and producers and camera crews in the same way.
First, there's the run-up. When the Big One is forecast, it is necessary to dispatch reporters to the barn or garage where they keep the plows and the sand trucks. They'll set up the picture so there's some poor beleaguered guy in need of a shave, bundled up and with a watch cap on in the center. In the background will be huge stacks of bags of something, most likely sand or salt and fork lifts going back and forth carrying smaller stacks of bags from one side of the room to another. No one has ever determined why the fork lifts have to move the stuff from side to side when the entrance to the barn or garage is where the camera is standing. Probably they have to move the stuff under their contracts, but don't want to risk moving it so as to bury the poor beleaguered guy in need of a shave, bundled up and with a watch cap. Or the camera.
The guy will then say something like "we're ready for this one, Bob, we have X tons of salt and X tons of sand and we're in good shape." The reporter then peers into the camera with that oh-so-sincere and serious look and says something like "...so we'll soon see all of these men and women out on the roads, clearing the paths ... blah blah blah..."
When the snow starts, possibly a day later, the Street Cams take over. The news anchor will go from outdoor scene to outdoor scene showing you, the viewer, what it looks like on this road and that corner.
Then the meteorologist steps in and talks in front of colorful charts that show the projected path of the storm and seven different alternatives in case the first is wrong. By the time that's finished, you wish you were watching the shopping channel.
Finally, comes the snow. So now it's time to bundle up the reporters and send them out into chin-high drifts. If there aren't chin-high drifts, seat them on hip high drifts. If there aren't hip high drifts just let 'em stand up and prattle.
Every damned one of them is the same. Only the punch line differs. There are two possibilities: (1) "We made it through the storm! or (2) We dodged the bullet this time.
(Portions of the above were excavated and scraped from a similar piece in 2010.)
Shrapnel:
--Are you sick enough of those “we’ll double the offer, just pay separate shipping and handling” commercials? Do you realize that “handling” is a profit center and that usually, the one + one free = 1.5 after you pay all the fees? Anyone out there can use half a frying pan?
--What’s all the fuss about drones? They’re just fine as any player of banjo, dulcimer or bagpipes will tell you. And drones have been running both the government and many private corporations for centuries.
--The “Atlas Shrugged” movies were box office bombs. So what do the filmmakers plan to do? Why, make Part III. Maybe they’re trying to achieve cult status like “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.”
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2010, 2013
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
1132 Move over E! TV, Here Comes G! TV
1132 Move over E! TV, Here Comes G! TV
E! TV -- Entertainment Television --pumps out 24 hours of celebrity pseudo news and pulp every day. Entertainment news, Joan Rivers’ truly funny Fashion Police, Sex and the City Reruns. It’s a continuous sewer flow of Kardashian, Spears, Lohan, Seacrest, Kate Middleton’s baby bump, Carry, J. Lo, and blah-blah about people most of us have never heard of. (You lose 2 points for every one of the above names you recognize, three if you follow any on Facebook.)
But, gunsels, don’t chide these shallow, name-obsessed “reporters” and their programs. We True Americans soon will have our own TV Channel: G! TV. Gun Television.
Things will start gradually. Many of our first programs will be reruns. Gunsmoke, The Untouchables, some old John Wayne movies, the James Bond films.
But we’ll have plenty of original programming, too, starting with our nightly feature “Gun News.” With “Gun News,” you’ll hear all about the latest in modern hardware. You’ll see all the news stories where good guys stop bad guys in schools, homes, shopping malls and banks, shooting ranges and bunkers. Plus all the latest news about famous gun owners from Barack Obama and Wayne LaPierre on down to Elmer Fudd and the uptown drug entrepreneur with a stash of Saturday Night Specials and Steyer TMPs in back of the canned food in the kitchen cabinet.
“Famous Gunsel of the Day” will feature people like Donald Trump, Robert Di Niro, Howard Stern, Miranda Lambert. The whole red blooded Red Carpet crowd. And we’ll keep you up to date with all the news and views of our enemies, like Sean Connery, Shania Twain, and the worst of them, Sylvester “Rambo” Stallone who once said America should go door to door and confiscate guns.
In the late night hours, we’ll turn into a kind of combination of E! and the shopping channels, offering the best values in handguns and rifles, complete with easy-pay and free shipping, a toll-free phone and a magnificent website.
And we expect to turn a huge profit. Already, sponsors are lining up to buy air time. All the big arms makers in this country and in Europe are on board. We’re still trying to figure out whether we’ll allow bottom feeders, like the makers of trigger locks and gun safes to advertise. Probably at the start it’ll be “yes,” and we’ll test viewer reaction.
We’ll also have hate minutes throughout the day. We borrowed the idea from George Orwell. We’ll put up pictures of guys like Jim Brady and Gabby Giffords for between three and five minutes. And our off-camera cheerleaders will lead the venom fest.
We’re even debating a farm and cooking show: Grow your own weed, brew your own corn liquor, the latest meth cooking techniques... that sort of thing. And a medical show. Wound dressing, filling Oxycontin prescriptions, and sticking up clinics. (What better use for that AK 47?)
It’s going to be a lot of fun, plus informative. A place where we defenders of our Second Amendment Rights, our homes and our persons can gather and call our own.
For now, we’re having a little trouble securing clearances from the cable and satellite companies. It’s hard to imagine why. They seem to think there’s no market for this kind of thing. They are wrong, wrong, wrong.
Check your local listings for a channel near you.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
E! TV -- Entertainment Television --pumps out 24 hours of celebrity pseudo news and pulp every day. Entertainment news, Joan Rivers’ truly funny Fashion Police, Sex and the City Reruns. It’s a continuous sewer flow of Kardashian, Spears, Lohan, Seacrest, Kate Middleton’s baby bump, Carry, J. Lo, and blah-blah about people most of us have never heard of. (You lose 2 points for every one of the above names you recognize, three if you follow any on Facebook.)
But, gunsels, don’t chide these shallow, name-obsessed “reporters” and their programs. We True Americans soon will have our own TV Channel: G! TV. Gun Television.
Things will start gradually. Many of our first programs will be reruns. Gunsmoke, The Untouchables, some old John Wayne movies, the James Bond films.
But we’ll have plenty of original programming, too, starting with our nightly feature “Gun News.” With “Gun News,” you’ll hear all about the latest in modern hardware. You’ll see all the news stories where good guys stop bad guys in schools, homes, shopping malls and banks, shooting ranges and bunkers. Plus all the latest news about famous gun owners from Barack Obama and Wayne LaPierre on down to Elmer Fudd and the uptown drug entrepreneur with a stash of Saturday Night Specials and Steyer TMPs in back of the canned food in the kitchen cabinet.
“Famous Gunsel of the Day” will feature people like Donald Trump, Robert Di Niro, Howard Stern, Miranda Lambert. The whole red blooded Red Carpet crowd. And we’ll keep you up to date with all the news and views of our enemies, like Sean Connery, Shania Twain, and the worst of them, Sylvester “Rambo” Stallone who once said America should go door to door and confiscate guns.
In the late night hours, we’ll turn into a kind of combination of E! and the shopping channels, offering the best values in handguns and rifles, complete with easy-pay and free shipping, a toll-free phone and a magnificent website.
And we expect to turn a huge profit. Already, sponsors are lining up to buy air time. All the big arms makers in this country and in Europe are on board. We’re still trying to figure out whether we’ll allow bottom feeders, like the makers of trigger locks and gun safes to advertise. Probably at the start it’ll be “yes,” and we’ll test viewer reaction.
We’ll also have hate minutes throughout the day. We borrowed the idea from George Orwell. We’ll put up pictures of guys like Jim Brady and Gabby Giffords for between three and five minutes. And our off-camera cheerleaders will lead the venom fest.
We’re even debating a farm and cooking show: Grow your own weed, brew your own corn liquor, the latest meth cooking techniques... that sort of thing. And a medical show. Wound dressing, filling Oxycontin prescriptions, and sticking up clinics. (What better use for that AK 47?)
It’s going to be a lot of fun, plus informative. A place where we defenders of our Second Amendment Rights, our homes and our persons can gather and call our own.
For now, we’re having a little trouble securing clearances from the cable and satellite companies. It’s hard to imagine why. They seem to think there’s no market for this kind of thing. They are wrong, wrong, wrong.
Check your local listings for a channel near you.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
Monday, February 04, 2013
1131 Bank On It
1131 Bank On It
So, this guy in the banking industry says Visa and MasterCard are changing their rules. They’re going to allow merchants to stop paying user fees and make you pay them instead.
The other big card issuers haven’t yet said they’ll follow, but chances are they will.
That means if you want to pay the sticker price, pay with cash. Means you have to keep better records than you probably do now, or at least get them out of the shoe box and into marked folders.
The teller of this tale heads a credit union, the kind of local outfit that knows your name when you walk in and provides essentially the same services as a bank, often at lower costs.
But if the rules come from the card companies -- and they do -- credit union- issued cards also will be affected.
At the moment, we’re talking only about credit cards. Debit cards and checking cards are another story -- at least for now. But it won’t be long before they charge you for using your own bank balance, just as they do when the charge a fee for taking your own money out of an ATM machine.
Of course, you have to feel a little sorry for some of the banks. Things are not all that rosy at Chase, Citi, Bank of America, etc. what with fines and damages they have to pay for doing the damage they did to the rest of us.
No. Wait. No you don’t.
Banks can’t gouge as freely as they used to, so they have to find new markets to abuse, and guess what, pal... we’re it.
The upside of all that felony is banks can go back to being like insurance companies, whose first commandment is “Thou shalt not pay claims.” The “lenders” will bring back the grumpy guys in ugly tweed suits who sit behind big mahogany desks, greet you like an old friend and then deny your loan application. Gets them aroused.
Shrapnel:
--Speaking of insurance companies, what’s with all the auto policy advertising. You can’t turn on a TV without seeing “Flo,” that lizard character or his brother the flying pig... the strange little animated “General,” the handlebar moustache guy who drops shopping carts on cars, the agents who suddenly appear when a policyholder sings the company song and Dennis Haysbert. It’s really wearying.
--But not as wearying as the ads for ambulance chasing accident lawyers. Or class action medical suit lawyers. Or drug companies that smilingly list possible side effects, “...sometimes fatal.”
--Expect the jury to convict Jodi Arias of murdering her boyfriend. Unlike Casey Anthony, Arias admits the killing. And whatever tricks and confusions her lawyers pull trying for a not guilty verdict, no jury wants to be put through the ringer of hatred, hate mail, demonstrations and death threats like the members of the Anthony jury.
Note to readers: Thank you one and all for the kind words and the expressions of sympathy after my post about Ed Koch. I tried to show you the man I knew, rather than the “Minutes of the meeting” obituaries about this blustering, funny, often accurate, sometimes way off base man I knew and loved. He was a man of virtue and wisdom, complexities and paradoxes and at once all of us who have roots in the grime and bedrock of New York City. But I have one objection to the way he is being characterized as “larger than life.” He wasn’t. He only seemed that way because life has gotten so small for so many.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
So, this guy in the banking industry says Visa and MasterCard are changing their rules. They’re going to allow merchants to stop paying user fees and make you pay them instead.
The other big card issuers haven’t yet said they’ll follow, but chances are they will.
That means if you want to pay the sticker price, pay with cash. Means you have to keep better records than you probably do now, or at least get them out of the shoe box and into marked folders.
The teller of this tale heads a credit union, the kind of local outfit that knows your name when you walk in and provides essentially the same services as a bank, often at lower costs.
But if the rules come from the card companies -- and they do -- credit union- issued cards also will be affected.
At the moment, we’re talking only about credit cards. Debit cards and checking cards are another story -- at least for now. But it won’t be long before they charge you for using your own bank balance, just as they do when the charge a fee for taking your own money out of an ATM machine.
Of course, you have to feel a little sorry for some of the banks. Things are not all that rosy at Chase, Citi, Bank of America, etc. what with fines and damages they have to pay for doing the damage they did to the rest of us.
No. Wait. No you don’t.
Banks can’t gouge as freely as they used to, so they have to find new markets to abuse, and guess what, pal... we’re it.
The upside of all that felony is banks can go back to being like insurance companies, whose first commandment is “Thou shalt not pay claims.” The “lenders” will bring back the grumpy guys in ugly tweed suits who sit behind big mahogany desks, greet you like an old friend and then deny your loan application. Gets them aroused.
Shrapnel:
--Speaking of insurance companies, what’s with all the auto policy advertising. You can’t turn on a TV without seeing “Flo,” that lizard character or his brother the flying pig... the strange little animated “General,” the handlebar moustache guy who drops shopping carts on cars, the agents who suddenly appear when a policyholder sings the company song and Dennis Haysbert. It’s really wearying.
--But not as wearying as the ads for ambulance chasing accident lawyers. Or class action medical suit lawyers. Or drug companies that smilingly list possible side effects, “...sometimes fatal.”
--Expect the jury to convict Jodi Arias of murdering her boyfriend. Unlike Casey Anthony, Arias admits the killing. And whatever tricks and confusions her lawyers pull trying for a not guilty verdict, no jury wants to be put through the ringer of hatred, hate mail, demonstrations and death threats like the members of the Anthony jury.
Note to readers: Thank you one and all for the kind words and the expressions of sympathy after my post about Ed Koch. I tried to show you the man I knew, rather than the “Minutes of the meeting” obituaries about this blustering, funny, often accurate, sometimes way off base man I knew and loved. He was a man of virtue and wisdom, complexities and paradoxes and at once all of us who have roots in the grime and bedrock of New York City. But I have one objection to the way he is being characterized as “larger than life.” He wasn’t. He only seemed that way because life has gotten so small for so many.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
Friday, February 01, 2013
1130 Ed Koch (1924-2013)
1130 Ed Koch (1924-2013)
The thing about this guy was that he was the same in private as he was in public. And there was no difference between the symbol and the man. If you need to know what that means, stop reading this and do something else.
This is not for people who are hearing about him for the first time and not for people who don’t know that he pronounced his name the way it’s spelled, and not “coke.”
You want to read history? The New York Times has a wonderful ten million word obit that’s been years in the making and more complete than anything that’ll be said here.
The Big Question about Ed Koch is “what made this guy stick in our heads and hearts all these years when he (insert whatever it is he did that made you angry.)”
And the Big Answer is “because he was real. Because he was all of us.” He gave form and voice to what it means to be a New Yorker. Brash. Rushed, Rumpled, loud, opinionated, good hearted, practical, funny, a sucker for a sob story and a man of his word.
Partnering with him on the radio for six years was more fun than anyone deserved to have in a small room with bullet proof windows. Highlight of the day when he arrived, sat down at the microphone and promptly fell asleep. Anyone want to hear a few recorded minutes of The Mayor snoring?
“What’s that ugly spot on your head, Ed?” “My face?” “No, no, the real spot...” this would be followed by a long explanation of the medical condition of the moment. Old guys have medical conditions, and by this time, the man already was old, as was this friendship.
He took a hardball as well as he threw one.
“Mr. Mayor, I fear you are turning into a right wing whacko.”
“Just because I support George W. Bush doesn’t mean I’ve sold out. I love America and this is the guy who’ll protect us -- and Israel.”
The kind of variability and complexity of what he supported or condemned was just another way he represented and made real the picture many of us have of ourselves. If it was Okay with The Mayor, it was okay.
Stuff you won’t read in the obituaries and maybe not even in all those books he wrote or the books that were written about him:
--I like taking my shoes off at the airport security check. Everyone knows who I am and if I have to do it, you shouldn’t complain when YOU have to do it. And you should.
--You’re making a mistake. Don’t retire. You’ll hate it. You’ll be bored to death.
--Queens is getting too conservative.
--I was born in the Bronx. We moved to Newark. Nice town, but I couldn’t wait to get back. No, wait. Forget the nice town part.
On Governor (Mario) Cuomo: The primary voters were wrong.
On standing up straight: I’m tall enough even when I slouch and it’s a lot less work.
Endless little stories go together to make the big picture. And the picture was big. Big enough so that you needed a room big enough to see it in perspective. New York was that room. It’s a good thing he wasn’t mayor of Pocatello.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
The thing about this guy was that he was the same in private as he was in public. And there was no difference between the symbol and the man. If you need to know what that means, stop reading this and do something else.
This is not for people who are hearing about him for the first time and not for people who don’t know that he pronounced his name the way it’s spelled, and not “coke.”
You want to read history? The New York Times has a wonderful ten million word obit that’s been years in the making and more complete than anything that’ll be said here.
The Big Question about Ed Koch is “what made this guy stick in our heads and hearts all these years when he (insert whatever it is he did that made you angry.)”
And the Big Answer is “because he was real. Because he was all of us.” He gave form and voice to what it means to be a New Yorker. Brash. Rushed, Rumpled, loud, opinionated, good hearted, practical, funny, a sucker for a sob story and a man of his word.
Partnering with him on the radio for six years was more fun than anyone deserved to have in a small room with bullet proof windows. Highlight of the day when he arrived, sat down at the microphone and promptly fell asleep. Anyone want to hear a few recorded minutes of The Mayor snoring?
“What’s that ugly spot on your head, Ed?” “My face?” “No, no, the real spot...” this would be followed by a long explanation of the medical condition of the moment. Old guys have medical conditions, and by this time, the man already was old, as was this friendship.
He took a hardball as well as he threw one.
“Mr. Mayor, I fear you are turning into a right wing whacko.”
“Just because I support George W. Bush doesn’t mean I’ve sold out. I love America and this is the guy who’ll protect us -- and Israel.”
The kind of variability and complexity of what he supported or condemned was just another way he represented and made real the picture many of us have of ourselves. If it was Okay with The Mayor, it was okay.
Stuff you won’t read in the obituaries and maybe not even in all those books he wrote or the books that were written about him:
--I like taking my shoes off at the airport security check. Everyone knows who I am and if I have to do it, you shouldn’t complain when YOU have to do it. And you should.
--You’re making a mistake. Don’t retire. You’ll hate it. You’ll be bored to death.
--Queens is getting too conservative.
--I was born in the Bronx. We moved to Newark. Nice town, but I couldn’t wait to get back. No, wait. Forget the nice town part.
On Governor (Mario) Cuomo: The primary voters were wrong.
On standing up straight: I’m tall enough even when I slouch and it’s a lot less work.
Endless little stories go together to make the big picture. And the picture was big. Big enough so that you needed a room big enough to see it in perspective. New York was that room. It’s a good thing he wasn’t mayor of Pocatello.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2013
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4759 The Supreme Court
C’mon, guys, we all know what you’re doing. You’re hiding behind nonsense so a black woman is not the next Associate Justice of the U.S....
