1345 Iraq War III

What were we thinking?  The US goes into a manufactured Iraq war, destabilizes the country, throws out a former friend-turned-foe and then goes home.

What do you think is going to happen? In Iraq’s case the tribal wars that have been raging forever come out in the open… and re-destabilize.

And that’s where we are now.

Iraq War One:  George HW Bush guards American oil supply in Kuwait by creating a fake international alliance and preventing the invention of Provence 19.  But in the end, Saddam Hussein is still standing.

Iraq War Two:  Dubya decides to show Poppy how to do it and does it. Another ruse of course.  Weapons of mass destruction, chemical weapons, atomic weapons. No weapons.  

But we somehow trip over Saddam Hussein’s residential coffin in the desert, pull him up and execute him.

Then a few years later, to the shock and awe of everyone, the intra-Muslim war that’s been burbling along since Muhammad was a boy boils to the surface.  Quick, which group is the bad guys?

Okay.  We figure that out right quick.

Now what do we do?  We still need the oil and we still have American men and women in harm’s way?

Easy answer:  send troops. Oh, but wait.  We’re all tied up in Afghanistan and maybe Pakistan and we’re all waiting for Iran to drop the other sandal.

These little land wars tend not to take turns.  They don’t stand on line for the chance to be our enemy of the moment.

What’s Obama do?  He does what he ALWAYS does:  he makes a pretty speech.  No more troops.  But we’re going to protect our interests in Iraq.  With our allies, the famous Bush coalition.

What does that mean?

Iraq War III.

These guys may not wait their turn to commence firing.  But they do TALK to each other.

The first thing you learn in Military Science class is don’t fight a war on two fronts.  Pick one.  Outnumber the other side three to one minimum. Presto, no more war.  Well, maybe not “presto.” But at least it’s a fighting chance.

Good thing some world leaders figure they’re above Science.  Hitler, for example.  Fighting in western Europe and on the Russian front at the same time?  How’d that work out for you, Adolf?

In our favor:  the supply lines are all in place and well broken in.  The troops are available without a lot of moving and shaking, though not enough for that three-to-one ratio.

It’ll take time for this to boil over.  Long enough so that you can pick a random 15 year old and tell him “In case you don’t come back, thank you for your service.”

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WR 2014

1334 Friday the 13th

Go ahead, do it.  Walk under a ladder. On Friday the 13th, walking under a ladder is a double negative and therefore self-cancelling.

Maybe it’ll even bring you good luck.  Fear of 13 is an old story.  Many tall buildings don’t have a 13th floor.  They go directly from 12 to 14.

Actually, if you think about it, ANY Friday can mean bad luck in the corporate world.  That’s the day they usually fire you if that’s what they’re going to do.

If you have a fish allergy, there’s no main course for Friday dinner.

Friday often is the end of the work or school week, which means the honey-do list appears with the express purpose of ruining your weekend.

On Friday, you’re that much closer to Monday.

And then if you subscribe to the Friday the 13th superstition, why isn’t a Friday the 26th twice as unlucky?

The next Friday the 26th this year takes place in September.  And there’s another one in December.  So get out the worry beads and make sure you have a double strand.

You’d really worry if there was a month with a Friday the 39th.  Fortunately, there’s no such thing. Triple strands of worry beads are pretty awkward.

Maybe you could carry a horseshoe or a rabbit’s foot.

There are, however, no more Fridays the 13th in this year.  But to make this one special, there’s a full moon tonight.

But not to worry about  lack of bad luck. There’s always a ladder you can walk under.  Or you can do three on a match with two other smokers.  Or if a black cat crosses your path, you can try to ward off evil by keeping your fingers crossed.

About those cats… no one has ever studied whether a mostly black cat with white trim counts. Or if it does, the percentage of white or other color to black has to influence the amount of bad luck radiation.  Or if a gray cat means moderately bad luck if it crosses your path.

No rabbits, horses or cats were hurt researching this little rant.

Shrapnel:

--Homeland Security, the police, the state attorney general and the immigration Service have swooped down on Asian restaurants in State College, Pennsylvania, with at least 13 people taken into custody.  Bottom line: we can breathe easier now that these hardworking Chinese, Thai and Korean workers have been ferreted out and probably will be removed from our star-spangled presence.  Now if they can only find some local white guys to make fake versions of our favorite Chinese, Thai and Korean Foods.

--From here, it seems they’re picking on Asians. Homeland security on the job?  What do they think they’re going to find, nasty plots to do bad things?  C’mon, guys, these people are making an honest living and possibly working to pay off outrageous smugglers.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments and accusations of racism to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2014

1343 Condition Lockdown At GM

Automakers the world over live in a closed little bubble of their own, protected by private bureaucracies that rival anything Washington has to offer.

Maybe that’s changing.  But don’t hold your breath.  

General Motors CEO Mary Barra Mia Culpa-ed her way through a report on how things went wrong over the course of a decade with flimsy but death-dealing ignition switches that ended with a parade of lawsuits and firings and admissions of incompetence and maybe too much cost control.

Those switches cost about one dollar each to make. It’s the installation that makes this fix expensive.

But as friend and former colleague Doron Levin points out in Fortune Magazine, the easy part -- admitting guilt -- is done with and the hard part is yet to come, changing a culture that rewards the kind of behavior that led to decades of mismanagement.

It started with arrogance. Then it became habit. Then it became the rules of the game.  But the game has changed and so must the rules.

You can’t sit on a fatal flaw and hope it goes away.  Or someone else takes care of it.

GM, of course, is not alone.  Even the most reputable manufacturers are guilty to some degree.  Look at Toyota and Audi and their accelerators with minds of their own.  

Or Ford’s famously exploding Pinto.  Or anything Chrysler made after selling itself and its soul first to Daimler, then to Cerberus and most recently to Fiat.  Yes, they’re improving.  But for decades they were in denial.

There needs to be a production standard.  Here it is: When the buyer takes delivery of the car, it will start and run.  When he or she steps on the gas, it will accelerate. When the brake pedal is pressed, the car will stop.  Suddenly, if necessary, and in a reasonable time and distance.

Nothing under the hood will leak.  The lights will work.  So will the horn, the door locks, the air conditioner, the heater, the transmission, air bags, seat belts, suspension, mirrors and radio.

And no part will be defective, least of all any part the failure of which would likely cause injury or death.

You don’t need massive engineering re-vamps for this.  You don’t need lawyers who would rather pay damage claims for a few than swap out a one-dollar part for every customer.

And you need to acknowledge your screwups.

Is that too complicated?

Now, it’s change or die.  For all of them.

Shrapnel:

--The no good congressman, Eric Cantor of Virginia has been defeated in the Republican primary by a worse person, the appropriately named Dave Brat. Cantor is the party’s house majority leader and favors immigration reform.  For many Republicans, immigration reform means electrified fences.

--In Troutdale, Oregon, near Portland, a high school kid shot another kid dead, wounded a teacher and then -- apparently -- killed himself, doing us all a favor.  These things are happening so often these days it’s getting hard to keep track of them.  Just keep in mind that guns don’t kill people, just deer and ducks.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address hate mail to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2014

1342 The Horse that Couldn't

ELMONT, NY (Wessays™) -- So, the adage remains intact: never bet the favorite.

California Chrome was “sure” to become the first horse since 1978 to win the Triple Crown, probably the most important and most sought-after achievement in the sport of kings.

And Chrome was a king, alright. Say you look at that horse.  You know nothing about horses.  You know nothing about racing. You know nothing about the Triple Crown.  You don’t even know the horse’s name.  But the instant you see him, you know.  This one’s special.

Not special enough.

Chrome won the Kentucky Derby and the Preakness with room to spare and that ain’t hay.

The Belmont is longer.  The Derby is a mile and a quarter.  The Preakness is a mile and 3/16ths.  The Belmont is a mile and a half.  It doesn’t sound like a big difference.  But it often is.

Not every horse runs in all three Triple Crown races.  The winner, Tonalist, ran only in the Belmont.  Same is true of the place (2nd finishing) horse, Commissioner.  The show (3rd place) horse, Medal Count, ran in the Derby but skipped the Preakness.

So, Chrome finished in a dead heat for fourth with Wicked Strong.

Chrome has working class roots. And he captured the imagination of people far and wide because he is beautiful and he fits that wonderful rags-to-riches kind of story we all love to hear or watch unfold.

Win or lose, the story of the day was going to be California Chrome. And you could hear and read in the faces of the owners and the trainers and the crowd the disbelief and disappointment as Chrome was forced to the outside and these nobodies pulled ahead. And that crowd? One hundred thousand people come out to watch a horse race?  For the Belmont, often. For the Belmont where a Triple Crown is at stake?  As sure as gravity.

But Elmont, New York is where racing hopes come to die. And die they did this past Saturday.  This track is not only long and sandy.  It is brutal.  And when it comes to this kind of race, there is no overtime or extra innings. There is no “next season.” There are no drafts, no player trades, no switches in managers or owners or trainers or jockeys.

You’re only three once.

So what’s next?  Well, not to worry. It’s not the glue factory.  It’s the stud farm.  This is where a lot of great horses make their real money. Except those peasant roots are going to get in the way.

Eric Mitchell, writing on the website Bloodhorse.com says it’s tricky.  According to Mitchell, Chrome’s value depends on his ability to sire top class runners for many years.

For those of us who love heroics, love the liquid grace of a thoroughbred in motion in hot but beautiful weather, for those of us who love Belmont Park, well… no history this time. Again. But still, it was a race to remember.  Just not for the right reasons.

Shrapnel:

--Note to co-owner Steve Coburn:  Shut up. You lost. Your sour grapes rant is tarnishing your horse, your sport (which has enough problems without you piling on more) and you’re making yourself look like the back end of a junk wagon nag.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Additional reporting by the Wessays™ New York Bureau and Special Correspondent Lyda Kane in Los Angeles.

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2014

1341 The Best Health Care Advice You'll Ever Get

The doctor is in.  And here’s that advice:  Don’t get sick.  If you do get sick, make sure it’s fatal and you are at home.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, let’s look at hospitals.

Of course,  there’s really no such thing as a “hospital” anymore.  

They’re all Medical Centers.  With a capital “M” and a capital “C.” And like centers of anything, they behave like they’re bigger and more important and better than they are.

What the Affordable Care Act did for many was force us to re-think whether the current health obsession in this country is what it’s cracked up to be.

And in trying to navigate the system, maybe we should be thinking about that obsession more than about our health.

The big medical centers -- oops, I mean Medical Centers --  have started acting like breakfast cereal companies.  It’s cutthroat competition.  

Everyone makes cornflakes, and says “ours are better than theirs.”

Everyone makes some version of Cheerios or Special K or Rice Checks.

And everyone spends gazillions to tell you why their version of Total With Raisins is better than anyone else’s.

Medical Centers spend an awful lot of money on advertising.  And fund raising.

Everyone is trying to grow.  And this is hothouse growth.  The big systems in this country have grown organically and over periods of many years.  But now, everyone wants to be big.  And they do it fast.  And on the fly.

The Mayo Clinic, Hopkins, Kaiser-Permanente, Vanderbilt, Mass-General, Columbia Presbyterian took decades to get to their present size and financial condition.

The little guys are struggling to catch up.  This does not necessarily affect medical care if there are sharp doctors on staff.  But it does affect things like infection rates, attention to detail, cleanliness, office procedure and accuracy.

So, here’s more of the best advice:

---If you’re hospitalized, read your chart.  Ask for translations of the things you don’t understand.

---If they have to wake you up to give you a sleeping pill, consider refusing it.

---Your best defense against a misstep in the operating room is a Sharpie or a Magic Marker.

If they’re operating on your foot, you write or get someone else to write on your bad one “This is the bad one.”  And on your other foot write “See note on other foot.”

Same goes for any other body part of which you have more than one.

Disclaimer:  Best Healthcare Advice is not right for everyone.  Possible side effects include illness up to and including death.  Common side effects are constipation, stomach pain, back pain, knee pain, runny nose, sore throat, dizziness, headache, neuritis and neuralgia.

Best Healthcare Advice does not protect against pregnancy or STDs.

The FDA has not tested and has not endorsed Best Healthcare Advice.

See your doctor.  See our ads in Popular Mechanics and Guns and Ammo magazines.

Magic Marker and Sharpie are registered trademarks of the respective manufacturers.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

We do not accept insurance.

© WJR 2014

1340 This is No Yoke

News item

SIOUX CITY, Iowa (AP) -- A self-made titan in the egg industry, his son and the Iowa company they ran pleaded guilty Tuesday to federal food safety violations stemming from a nationwide salmonella outbreak that sickened thousands in 2010.

Hard-boiled “egg industrialists” in hot water over salmonella outbreak?  It’s hard not to scramble to make fun of these guys even though it’s a pretty serious story.  But you have to admit you cracked a smile when you read it.

The father-son team, Austin and Peter DeCoster copped a plea that likely will mean fines but no jail time.  Oh, and a little bit of medical help for some of the thousands of victims.  Oh… and $6.8 million dollar fine for bribing a federal inspector and shipping poisonous food in interstate commerce, largest penalty of its kind in history.   The DeCosters have accepted all that.  The prosecutor has accepted all that.  The judge has yet to say and -- evidently -- his word is final.  The sentencing is scheduled for September.  

If the deal goes through, the Egg Titans won’t be cooped up in a cell.  They’ll just be a few million poorer.

The USDA inspector who let millions of contaminated eggs come to market for an extra 300-dollars in his pocket got the death penalty.  That is to say he died before he could be put on the griddle.

And the DeCoster’s company?  Well, it’s been fried before.  In 2003 they were fined for knowingly hiring illegal immigrants.  Oh...  and faking “sell-by” dates.

The accused knew this was coming because this deal was reached before the charges were actually filed.  Think about that.  Would you get that preview of coming attractions?

Quality Egg is not on anyone’s list of top private companies.  We’re not talking about something the size of General Foods, General Mills or General Electric.  But Q-E is plenty big enough.  Ask the 62-thousand people affected or the 1,900 who were made REALLY sick.

Papa Austin -- they call him “Jack”-- lives in Maine.  Absentee landlord. Son Peter lives near enough to company headquarters in Iowa to smell the rotten eggs.

This kind of prosecution has become semi fashionable in recent decades.  There were few of them before the Clinton administration. Better too many than too few.  After all, if you didn’t do anything wrong, you have nothing to worry about.  Just ask the Innocence Project.

Grapeshot:

-Don’t bother to count… there are eight gratuitous sophomoric references to eggs in this post.

Shrapnel:

--Military justice varies considerably from civilian justice in this country. So it’s quite possible Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl, freed by the Taliban after five years, will face some kind of charges.  Especially since six soldiers are said to have died while searching for him.  So far, he’s only been charged with “wandering off.”

--We can’t find “wandering off” anywhere in the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  But it sounds like something that should be added to the various state law books.  Kind of a politically correct substitute for things like jailbreaks and fugitives from justice.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2014

1339 Shinseki's "Resignation"

The chairman of U.S. Megabank walks into a bar.  Guy comes over, says “You know what, pal?  I was just in your branch in Kalamazoo, Michigan and the line was out the door.  Took forever for me to cash my paycheck.”

“Good heavens!” says the CEO, “thanks for letting me know. I’ll have it fixed right away, and here’s my card.  If you ever have trouble like that again, call my direct line.”

The Secretary of Veterans Affairs walks into Ben’s Chili Bowl in Washington.  Guy comes over, salutes, says “You know what, General,  sir? I was just down in Phoenix and the line at the VA hospital was out the door.  Took eight months to get my cardiogram and a prescription.  In the meantime, I had to go to an emergency room for a heart transplant and I almost died.  And the sergeant just ahead of me in Phoenix? He actually DID die, right there in the waiting room.”

“Huh?” Asks the Secretary.

Is Megabank’s chairman supposed to be aware of every little thing that goes on in every little branch in every little town it has one? If you DO run into him in a bar or a bistro and tell him about a problem, he’ll fix it.

Isn’t the VA as important as a bank?  Certainly, especially in this age of troop worship.  Anyone in camos is automatically a hero, even if his service is patrolling Penn Station.

But in all fairness, you can’t expect every CEO to know what goes on everywhere.  

So after a relatively stellar career in the army, Four Star General Eric Shinseki, 71, takes the hit for the book cooking at the VA facility in Arizona.  A head had to roll when bonus-hungry peons decided to lie about wait times instead of fixing them.  No BMW for you this year, Mr. Appointments Scheduler.

Is this going to satisfy anyone?  No. The VA remains overloaded with patients and underloaded with doctors and other health professionals.

You meet this man, Shinseki, you like him.  You meet this man, you respect him.  By all accounts, he’s that kind of a guy.  Did he cause the Arizona backups?  Or the lack of doctors?  Or the useless wars that spat out more injured wounded and sick vets than GM and Ford combined have recalled cars in the last ten minutes?

No, no and no.

The President’s fellow Democrats in congress screamed for a beheading and got one.  You’d think the flag-lapelled Republicans would be just as loud.  But someone clued them in by whispering into their collective ear “It was you schmucks who didn’t provide the funding. Be happy they just pick on Ric.”

Shinseki’s parents came to this country from Japan in 1901.  Good thing they’re gone because stuff like this is a face-loser of face losers.

Shrapnel:

--The VA is not the only medical service with a crummy office system.  Medical offices are all backed up and hidebound.  The doctors themselves often are unaware but you can help yourself and others by telling them about wait times… if you live long enough.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2014