Wednesday, August 10, 2016

1680 Political Suffleboard

Okay, everyone, it’s time to play shuffleboard.  Political Shuffleboard.  Even if you’re immobilized and  have never had one of those stupid sticks (they’re called “cues” much to the ire of pool players) you can join in the fun.

Here’s where we try to shuffle the presidential politics discs (called “pucks” much to the ire of hockey fans) into the high scoring end of the painted triangle on the ground.

Right now, Trump has built a wall around his triangle not to prevent a Mexican invasion but to keep you from either finding out his true beliefs or signaling that you oppose him.

First, Trump doesn’t know his true beliefs or even if he has any.  He built the wall so he can say he lost the election because there was a wall around his triangle.

Second, don’t be so sure he’s going to lose. After all there are mysterious mostly invisible forces at work as there are in every presidential election. And in every game of shuffleboard.
Third, people lie to pollsters.  So right now it looks like people are swishing their cues and sending their pucks right into that wall.

It’s rigged.

Just like Trump says. Just not in the way he means it.

It’s a long time from August to November (apologies to Kurt Weill and Maxwell Anderson.) And people may be all hot and bothered about the lunatic candidacy of the failing small business owner from Queens.  But we humans have a tendency to “normalize” over time.  

And in the case of elections, “normalize” means we cling to the triangle of our origin.

You may be zipping that puck all over the court right now, but by the time November 9th shows up, you’ll have made peace with whatever evil your party is committing and vote for its candidate as you always have.

In the case of Trump, you’ll have risen above the Mexican wall, the Muslims, the gold star parents, the bogus unworkable economic plan, the failed steaks, the America First clothing made in Bangladesh, the unreal real estate courses, the crazy tweets, the crazier speeches.  And that call to assassinate his opponent.

If you’re one of Clinton’s supporters, you’ll have risen above concerns about Benghazi, emails, the foundation, the costly speeches attended largely by Wall Streeters who sleep or drink their way through them and the standing by your man while Bill charitably boinks every girl who wants sex and can’t find it anywhere else.

We “normalize” by saying “enough already. Let’s get this over with so I can go back to my big screen TV, my YahHol Chat Room and my football Sundays.

You know you mean well, but you can’t help yourself: when George Gallup knocks on your door… or the NBC/Wall St. Journal guy or Joey from previously unknown Quinnipiac University, you're going to lie.  Oh, you may mean what you say at the time.  But that won’t matter in November. Everyone lies.  Everyone.

Of course, if George Gallup actually knocks on your door, you’ve got a problem. Gallup died in 1984.  But he’s had ghosts and surrogates doing his work ever since.

And remember those mysterious forces.  George W. Bush won in 2000 by only nine votes.  And they were all absentee ballots.

Okay, everyone.  The shuffleboard field is now open for the day.  Get your pucks and cues out and let’s play.

Today’s Quote: “Everyone lies.” -- Gregory House, MD, fictional TV character.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to

© WJR 2016

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