Monday, May 29, 2017

1800 The Report Card

Photo by Paul Ryan/Deathpanel Images
It’s supposed to be about a report card.  So what’s the Caduceus picture doing here?  Well, the report card comes from Blue Cross.

And it’s an F, A big fat F for failure.  
Seems someone whose name I won’t mention failed to take his cholesterol medicine for 88 days last year. At least that’s why the failing grade.

How did they reach that figure?  Simple.  They know what you’re prescribed and how much they underpay for.  

What they don’t know is when your doctor changes your prescription and doesn’t tell them. And that is the case here.  The dose was reduced by half and the pills cut so there was a surplus.  That got straightened out in January.  But that hasn’t stopped Blue Cross from issuing an elaborately artful report card on magazine-slick heavy cardboard stock.

Of course the analysis of how this worked is speculation because it’s a closely guarded secret.  Everything having to do with medical insurance is a secret.  But before writing this post, some of the obvious possible spy cam locations in the house underwent close inspection.

There was nothing in any of the smoke alarms but smoke alarm stuff. The little imp statuette on the phone stand was clean as were the decorative gargoyles, the giant stuffed vulture and the elaborately framed dimestore Dali melting watch print.

The microwave oven passed inspection. The coffee maker showed no evidence of tampering and there’s a piece of duct tape covering the camera eye on the computer.

We vetted the exterminator, the mail delivery seeing eye dog, the UPS driver, the immediate neighbors and Vonage.  Also, a potted sunflower plant which is a recent arrival, and a tattered and rarely used copy of Webster’s Second Unabridged. None showed even a hint of an installed camera or transmitting device.

So at the amateur level of spying, it’s pretty safe to say they lied with statistics rather than planting spyware in the house.

But what if we missed something?  That could be a problem.  

After all why does everyone collect every datum on every man, woman, child, dog, cat, parakeet and pet fish in the world?

To sell and trade.

So here’s Blue Cross with all that info from the hidden cameras and other undiscovered clandestine devices. Not to mention the data they collect about one’s various conditions and preconditions, finances and regular medical attention.

But it’s not all bad. At least this report card is fairly consistent with those we’ve received from junior high through grad school.

“Why does the richest family in America need a $152 billion tax break?” -- Sen. B. Sanders (I-VT) questioning budget director Mick Mulvaney about the end of the estate tax at a Senate hearing. (Mulvaney tried to evade the question and when forced to answer, couldn’t.)

--The current Mrs. Trump touring the streets of Sicily, wearing a coat that cost $51,000. That’s just under the US median income.  Whatever happened to Pat Nixon’s “plain Republican cloth coat?”

Note to readers. Once again I have screwed up the blog’s numbering system. So to make housekeeping easier for now and harder for later, I’m calling this one 1800, which is probably one or two off.  Maybe I really DO deserve that failing grade from Blue Cross. If only I could have gone back in time and checked this stuff with Miss Rotundi or Mr. Themeus.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2017

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