1511 Never on Sunday

1511 Never on Sunday

A famous movie about a hooker in Athens with a theme song that has become part of the Great American Songbook.  The song won the Academy Award, and so did the lead actress, Melina Mercouri.

But this is hardly a tribute to the great contributions of ancient and modern Greeks from Aristotle to Zorba.

Where does current prime minister Alexis Tsipras sit on that scale?  It remains to be seen.  But given his circumstances it’s a wonder he’s anywhere on it at all.

The European Union’s gnomes of Frankfurt and Brussels are asking for the moon.  And early Monday morning, they got it. Sort of. Greece does not have a moon to give.  And the local banks there… major lenders, know that but pretend they don’t.

So let’s get some nonsense out of the way:

--Yes, Greece didn’t watch its borrowing or its credit rating.

--Yes, its pension and welfare system is generous to a fault.

A friend recently asked why should other countries be forced to pay for the (alleged) sins of Greece?  The answer lies in three basic ideas:  

1. Europe is an emerging nation acting much in the same way the US acted in its pre constitutional days.
2. As an emerging nation it has yet to realize that rich states here kick in to help poor states.  New York gets back less than it gives so Texas and Alabama can survive.  We have learned to accept and sometimes embrace this.
3. When Greece abandoned the Drachma for the Euro, it gave up control of its own finances and now is being forced against its will and its ability to solve its own crisis.

You can’t have it both ways.  If the EU is made of autonomous states than each state should have and be able to set value of its own currency.  If the EU is truly a “union” then there is no question that the Big Boys -- Germany and the UK primarily and France, sort of -- have to help out without imposing the kinds of restrictions that will kill Greek commerce and then what’s left of its employment.

So, never on Sunday may apply to Greek streetwalkers, but it can’t apply to the leaders in Athens.

Grapeshot:

--The only version of Never on Sunday with Mercouri is in Greek, and too long to post… but you can find many another version on YouTube, though most of them are corny and lack soul.

Shrapnel:

--It’s the calm before the storm.  Microsoft is about to release a new version of its operating system.  PC sales are down while buyers await the debut so they can rush out and buy the latest in a seemingly endless parade of false promise and bungle.

--Mac fans will advise us all to trash our PCs and buy the ever-so-much cooler (and infinitely more expensive)  Apple computers.  Apple is one big sales pitch for itself and its biggest selling point is that it’s not Microsoft.  Owning one is like succumbing to someone saying “Here, light up.  All the cool kids smoke,” only slightly less dangerous.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

1434 Switzerland's Pizza Problem

First some background.  

1. There is no such thing as a bad pizza, even if it’s an English muffin with ketchup and American cheese cooked in one of those toy ovens that use lightbulbs for heat.
2. Some pizzas are better than others.
3. New York is the only place in the known universe you’ll find a *GREAT* pizza… just ask anyone who has eaten a slice.
4. German pizza is closer to the toy oven muffins than it is to Ray’s Original, Original Ray’s, Famous Ray’s, Ray Barri’s, DiFara’s, Roberta’s, Patsy’s, Motorino’s or any of the others you can find on almost any block.
5. German Pizza costs less than Swiss pizza.
6. Until recently, pizza deliverers didn’t have to go through customs.

Note, “Until recently.” Now they do.  

Pizza joints on the German side of the border had special deals for customers who paid in Swiss francs for delivered food.

Not only that, but going through customs takes time.  And time is the enemy of hot pizza.

There are some among us who like our pizza cool or even cold.  But the majority want a hot pie.  So the ever- neutral Swiss have declared war on German pizza.

Germany says it has no plans to retaliate by, say, establishing numbered bank accounts.  But Conservative province alderman Heinz Haberschlammerrung proposes plans to establish those secret bank accounts despite the national government’s refusal.

Haberschlammerrung says he’d attract customers from high and middle income earners by using the secrets of the Swiss and the 1970s marketing plans of  American banks.

These include giving away prizes like toasters and blenders, offering free checking, high introductory interest rates and convenient no-fee ATMs scattered throughout Switzerland.

“And for the real high rollers,” said Haberschlammerrung, “toaster ovens just big enough for a large swiss cheese and Braunschweiger two-sauce pizza that got cold on the trip across the border.”

You have to watch the Swiss.

Shrapnel:

--Meantime, the Swiss franc is soaring against the Euro in a complicated set of events that is forcing stock prices in Zurich sharply lower.  This has to do with the European and Russian economies and nothing to do with cross border pizza.  But it devalues everything else from candy to watches to cheese to cuckoo clocks.

--At the same time, some in Switzerland are moving toward loosening the bank secrecy laws.  About time. And an invitation to Germany, Austria, Italy and France to get in on the numbered account action.

--Newspaper publisher Belo and others are to test drones to deliver newspapers to the 324 people who still read the print editions.  Fewer tips.  But don’t worry, the papers will still land on your roof, in your shrubs and in your neighbor’s driveway as usual.

Grapeshot:

-Flu shot objectors have finally won one after federal health officials say the current vintage is only 23% effective.

-If you’re having trouble falling asleep there’s help ahead: the state of the union speech is just around the corner.

-The counter speech, the Republican “rebuttal” (when did we start needing that?) will be given by freshman sen. Joni Ernst, who rose to fame with her commercial about spending her youth castrating pigs.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

For more of my nonsense check out Gargoylz

© WJR 2015