A deranged garden gnome burst through the living room wall last night. It was drenched in brimstone and stank of sulfur. It was having a seizure of epic magnitude, its face twisting in pain or in hate and demanding that the sound of its agony be all that anyone heard.
So much for the presidential candidates’ debate. So much for the rule of law, so often has bleated about. If it can’t follow the simple rules of discussion, how can it be expected to follow the rule of law as the head of a formerly great nation?
The debate was supposed to feature two grown men and a moderator. Instead, it featured the apoplectic gnome, a befuddled but well-meaning opponent and a moderator whose glands of reproduction and whose spine melted before our eyes on live television and whose arm froze in midair en route to the switch that would have turned off the gnome’s microphone.
Where was the bouncer when this cheap little one man death squad burst in? Where were the white coated men with huge butterfly nets when this crazed diabolos appeared? Where were the animal control officers when this rabid racoon gnawed and ripped its way into our homes; our lives?
His words were a festival of lies, lies about the economy, the coronavirus, equal rights, environmental wrongs?
Former vice president Biden could have been declared the debate winner by never opening his mouth. But that’s not what happened. What he tried to do was get a word in edgewise. Sometimes he could. When he did, he was exposing the lies of the gnome. Oh, and occasionally offering a plan to offset the years of damage the gnome has wreaked. And he spoke right into the camera, right at you, eye-to-eye.
Then, there was the melted gonad and rubber-spined moderator, living proof that the apple CAN fall far from the tree. Chris Wallace, what would Mike Wallace do if caught in a s*it storm like this? He may have just sat back and let the gnome destroy itself. But more likely, he would have directed the control room to cut the video, cut the audio and put up bars and tone.
Or maybe he’d just show a clip of the movie “Animal House.”
We’ll deal with the president’s taxes on Friday, 10/2/2020.
Any Questions? Wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2020