1536 Big Mac on Bedford Avenue

1536 Big Mac on Bedford Avenue

The West Indian Day parade is a burst of blinding color, song and dance.  It takes place at the same time as Labor Day in the shadow of what once was Ebbets Field where the Brooklyn Dodgers baseball team used to play.

It’s a landmark location where the city now has one of those dreary, cookie cutter dropped from the sky housing projects.

The parade attracts thousands of onlookers.  And it attracts violence, violence that often goes unnoticed beyond the project and nearby Prospect Park.  A mention in the Daily News, maybe. A ten second video clip on Channel 4.

It was a little different this year, because when gunfire broke out -- as it does every year --  a man named Carey Gabay took a bullet. Gabay is a wheel in New York Governor Andrew Cuomo’s administration and was there to celebrate.

He’s one of those functionaries you never hear of until something bad happens.  Something bad happened to him.  At this writing, he’s at Kings County Medical Center in critical condition.  Kings County is not a place you want to be with any condition, let alone one that can kill you.  People are wheeled in on stretchers every day.  Many of them also leave on stretchers.

The governor was marching in the parade.  When asked, he said his man was “not in good shape.”

Cops say Gabay wasn’t a target.  He was just a bystander.  Gang war, they said.  They found a MAC 10 45, in the street. Big MAC.  An auto machine pistol that takes a magazine as long as your arm and some of which have built in suppressors -- a “silencer” to us amateurs.

So the police will make an extra effort to find the shooter because this victim was a Harvard lawyer who works for the state?  Unlikely they’ll find anyone. If they do, he (and it almost has to be a “he,”) will tell us about his tough childhood, how he goes to mass every Sunday, helps his mom around the house and is “... not a bad person your honor. It was an accident.”

Yes, an accident with a banned weapon designed for the military and that somehow got into the hands of a Brooklyn gangbanger.

Some ordinary victim?  File and forget.  

The combination of a machinegun, a gang guy and the West Indian Day Parade is a batter from which only death and injury can be baked.

Shrapnel:

--The Dentist of Death is back at work. Jolly Wally Palmer, who when not extracting teeth is extracting heads from big game -- Cecil in particular -- has reopened his practice in suburban Minneapolis. Here’s hoping he’s the loneliest fellow since the Maytag repairman.

--Let’s hear it for Microsoft.  Not only are they increasing their “diagnostic” (read spying) capacity on Windows 10 but they’re trying to expand it to Windows 7 and 8.x.  The old fashioned have an advantage over the leading edge ten users in that they have to opt in and can ignore the nagging from MSFT to “update.”

--Wal-mart is reopening five stores closed because of “plumbing problems” but still denies workers’ attempts to organize for better pay was the real reason.  Took six months to fix plumbing problems? Who’d they hire, Wal-mart Customer Service?

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

1535 Labor Day 2015

1535 Labor Day 2015

That would be today.  Happy labor day, union brothers, those of you who remain.

This is the day we set aside to remember the men and women who built the middle class by organizing and working together, leaders with the best interest of the members in heart and mind and companies that weren’t owned by venture capitalists and controlled by momentary price changes in stock prices or the forecasts of analysts most of whom never had run a company or got anything right.

If you think treating a workforce like machinery or plow horses is new, think again.  It isn’t.  And that’s why unions formed.

If you want to boil the reason down to two words, here they are: Bad bosses.

It’s not that we don’t understand greed.  We’d be that way ourselves, many of us.  It’s not that we don’t understand wanting the best bang for our buck.  We’re pretty much all that way.

The labor movement today is hardly a movement.  And the condition of labor itself is moribund.

So, some guidance from an old organizer.

--When unions lost or gave up the ability to close a factory or a news outlet or a school, they lost or gave up any hope of winning a strike.

Like women’s health rights and other social issues, that lost cause wasn’t lost overnight. It was whittled away bit by bit by union busting lawyers, fearful bosses with ugly emotions, compliant workers taking contracts for granted and the Bush recession followed by the phony Obama recovery.

--When the UFT or the ILGWU or the UAW or the Teamsters were forming, there was plenty of money around and workers wanted enough to live on decently.  Today, there’s less money, even in large corporations.  So money can’t be the central issue, at least money above the minimum wage.

The only thing left to negotiate is working conditions. And that’s become almost as critical as in the days of the Triangle Shirtwaist company.

The union still can help you when you are forced to clock out and continue working. It can help you fend off unsafe conditions at a hot stove or a dishwashing machine. Or a coal mine or steel mill.  It can make sure you get a lunch hour. Or half hour. Or 20 minutes.

But money?  Nah. Not any more.

--Most union “thugs” are not thugs at all.

--Many unions make political contributions to candidates and causes they believe will advance your life. If you don’t like that, think about how your CEO contributes to candidates and causes she believes will prevent your advancement.

If you work in a non union shop, imagine what it would be like not to have to kowtow to every whim of every petty dictator who has any say about when or how you work, for how long and at what rate.

If you work in a union shop, imagine what it would be like to have to kowtow to every whim of every petty dictator who has any say about when or how you work, for how long and at what rate.

Now, which would you chose?  Or more accurately, which would you choose if some lawyer or foreman weren’t standing over you intimidating you into voting “no” when the certification ballots come around.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© 2015 WJR

1534 Pre School, Post School

1534 Pre School, Post School

We hear a lot about “pre-school.”  It supposedly gets little kids ready for “official school.” And every state has limits on the age for dropping out.

Good way to help reduce the unemployment rate among free range toddlers and teens.  Keeps the eductocracy in business. May actually force today’s anti-education generation to stay in school long enough to learn how to accurately add a column of ten numbers in less than ten minutes.  Or maybe to write a coherent English sentence.

School ends early for many kids.  But it also lasts longer for others.  There are record numbers of college students who can’t or won’t earn a degree in the four years it used to take.

But maybe there should be an age requirement on the other end of the spectrum.

Post school.

We tend to lose our marbles gradually in old age. If we were forced back into a classroom, we might avoid some of the ravages of the adage “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  Actually, you can.  But the dog has to want to learn.  Many don’t.  So force them!

A friend who is of late middle age returned to the classroom as a teacher.  That can work equally well to returning as a student.  Another, an insurance broker, took early retirement and went on to teach at Riker’s.

Most of us don’t have the time to return as full time students at, say, age of 65.  But part time studies and distance learning is as common today as part time employment and telecommuting.

Self education can work, too.  With supervision.  For example learning to navigate Windows 10 will keep one’s mind active and the synapses firing.

Lessons, though, don’t have to be in rocket science.  

Remember all those “easy-a’s” you thought about a million years ago?  The ones in which you drew B’s and C’s? The ones you cut all semester.

Well, post-school education doesn’t have to be any harder.  Art history, theology, filmmaking, gender fluidity studies, even “physics for poets” would fill the bill.  

Plus, if you want to feel young again, you can always take out student loans.  That’s the fastest way to experience what young people go through nowadays.

But if you do, be sure to take out new life insurance to cover the debt.  You don’t want to burden those you love when you die deeply in hock.

Shrapnel:

--If Microsoft wants its “Word” program to remain the world standard for writers, it’s going to have to make a significant change.  Since the very beginning, it has not allowed punctuation marks in the “subject” or title box. So no contractions, no question marks, no anything other than letters and numbers and that has to go.

--Trump has signed the Republican National Committee’s loyalty oath promising to back the party’s eventual nominee and make no third party run. You have to wonder what he got in return.  Maybe if he’s the nominee, the other candidates will have to mow his golf courses.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

1533 Apps We'd Like to See

1533 Apps We’d Like to See

There seems to be a mobile or computer app for everything.  But really, we’ve only scratched the surface.

Yes, it’s easy to find the nearest pizza joint, the best route from Squirmish, Ohio to Bucyrus, the weather forecast for Cairo or Newark or Springfield depending on which one of each of these you mean.

You can do your taxes, watch a movie, read the news, find a recipe for stuffed cabbage.  You can take a course in topology or topography or typography or the making of explosives.  You can chat with your friends and your imaginary friends, find the symptoms of non-hodgkin's ear wax deposit, and learn the history of unicycling in Rome.

But there are things you can’t do.  And here are some apps we’d like to see:

The blood sugar ray gun: People with diabetes could check things without having to draw blood or stabbing themselves, thus avoiding pain and keeping all their blood.

The STD test: Use it ahead of time to make sure.  Use it afterwards to decide whether to go home or to the anonymous free clinic.

The food borne contaminant detector: Know what you’re buying for dinner. Know what the restaurant is serving.  And the related…

Antibacterial effectiveness meter:  Learn what percentage of germs (up to 99.99) the stuff really kills. The free version will give you all you need to know. But AEM-Pro will tell you the strain or strains of the bacteria remain live and what symptoms to look for.

The OTB speed governor: Select from the list of horse races, pick the longest long shot, activate the governor and the rest of the horses won’t be able to fairly compete, leaving you with a long-odds winner.

The Subway Spread Eliminator: when the guy on the train has his legs far apart and is taking three seats, a quick blast from the SSE will hit him where he’s exposed with a (relatively) low voltage, low amperage electrical charge forcing his legs together and freeing two of the spaces.

The cop cooper:  When you’ve had too much to drink and have to drive anyway, the cop cooper will use the alpha waves generated by computer screens to put any police in range gently to sleep.

The Shadow Invisibilitator: No longer will you have to have to be a wealthy man about town who learned as a boy in the Orient the strange and mysterious secret: how to cloud men’s so they could not see you.  Just a few clicks and poof, you’re invisible for as long as necessary.

And finally…

The time release death ray: it operates through your phone cam. You pretend to take a picture of your arch enemy and walk away.  An hour or two later, the guy croaks of apparent natural causes.  You’re nowhere near the scene of the crime and you can prove it with a credit card receipt or register tape from 7-11 or Duane Reade.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

1532 Why Not Tattoos or Arm Bands, Gov. Christie?

1532 Why Not Tattoos or Arm Bands, Gov. Christie?

The governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie had a brilliant idea the other day.  He came up with a way to “track immigrants.”  Bar codes.

Christie wants FedEx to design a system similar to the one it uses to track packages, which, by all accounts, works pretty well, barring bad storms, birds in the engines or the presence of suspicious packages.

Bar codes would be more humane than Trump’s plan to throw the bums out.  It’s just scary and insulting and cheap instead of brutal and impossible… oh, and scary and insulting, but not cheap.

But let’s not limit ourselves.  How about a bar code system for, say, the elephantine, although they’re pretty much self defining or identifying.

Then how about politicians?  You think immigrants are wrecking America?  You’re wrong. It’s the political class.  

We know what most of them look like because they’re always on camera somewhere. But there are a few we might not recognize.  So how about arm-banding, tattooing or bar coding politicos.  

Then there’s always the Hester Prynne system.  Put a big red “P” on the forehead or clothing of every office holder or seeker.  Politicking is right up there with adultery when it comes to public acceptance, and with good reason.

It’s not as graceful as the Nazi or Republic of South Africa methods.  But it’s an easier way to identify those undesirables.  And while it’s humiliating, it’s less unsettling than deportation.

Any “anchor babies” in your family, Chris?

Chrissie says a lot of people enter the US legally and then overstay their work or student visas.  Maybe so.  This is not a new problem.  And it’s not really a problem at all except for that sliver of the pie that turns criminal.

All this intrusiveness from a big man who thinks the government is too big.  Too intrusive. Too … um … fat.

As of this writing, FedEx has not responded to Christie’s request. They probably want to wait until they stop laughing before they answer.

So, once again, why not tattoos and arm bands, governor?  Worked pretty well in the Thousand Year Reich, no?

Shrapnel:

--The plague that missed Boston will vent its rage on Los Angeles.  The city has “won” the right to become America’s bidder for the 2024 Olympics, pending city council approval.  Here’s hoping they just say no.

--A stunningly beautiful lake in the Ural Mountains has won an equally stunning but much less beautiful prize. Scientists say Lake Karachay is the single most polluted place on earth. It’s right next to Russia’s once-secret nuke lab and factory. And when they tell you “go jump in (this) lake,” it’s a death sentence.

--There really is no resource we haven’t squandered, no advantage we haven’t abandoned and no riptide we haven’t confused with a placid pool. We really are dragging this country to hell in a handbasket, aren’t we? Good thing the road to hell is downhill, else we’d have to put wheels on the handbasket.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR

1531 The Early Line on 2016

1531 The Early Line on 2016

The duties of president are clearly defined in the constitution.  All except the most important one, setting the tone of the country.

The present occupant isn’t doing too well at that. Neither did his predecessor or his predecessor’s predecessor.  Who did? FDR. Truman. Eisenhower. JFK. Reagan.

You may disagree with the tone set but at least there was one you could identify.

People say they vote on issues and policies.  Many do. But many don’t.

You don’t have to be Mister (or Ms) Personality to get elected. A lot depends on the opposition, the circumstances and one’s use of the Magic Political Mystery Formula: the right combination of stroking and striking fear into the hearts of your friends, colleagues and enemies.

The most recent true master of that was LBJ. And he, too was a tone setter.  But the tone he set was not the one people were looking for at the time.  Just ask the gazillions of anti-war protesters.

So, who are the leading tone setters in the sorry bunch of current presidential wannabes?  Bernie Sanders for the Democrats and (shudder) Donald Trump for the Republicans.

Which tone do we want badly enough to elect a candidate? Bernie is channeling FDR.  Trump, in his own distorted self braggadocio way is trying to channel Reagan’s “morning in America.”

Not only does Obama set a vague and directionless national tone, he has no mastery of the Magic Political Mystery Formula.  His stroking and threatening skills are just fine… until he leaves the room or you do.

Reagan had an advantage.  He was old and seemed not to care what people thought of him. But he was charming in a Hollywood actor sort of way. Bernie has some of that: he's old and doesn't have to care. His charm is in his relative bluntness and the clarity of his thinking and therefore his speaking and writing.

Additionally, Bernie seems capable of building a coalition. And he has an advantage that Reagan didn't: today’s republican party is straight out of Bellevue and the people -- or at least many of us -- know it and don't want to be part of it.

So the question is "can Bernie reform Wall Street, income inequality, environmental damage, useless and costly wars, racism and institute a single payer health care plan that circumvents the insurance industry?" Of course not. But he probably can use sufficient stroking and induce sufficient fear to take good steps.

Then, there’s Biden. Who can be sure of what Obama's relationship with him really is. They put on a brotherly picture.  And the president was right when he said picking Joe was the smartest decision he ever made.

JFK and LBJ didn't like each other.  But at the time, Johnson was a good choice for vice president because of his many years in the senate.  He was a leader there, knew where the bodies were buried, knew where to bury the bodies he added to that and knew both how to kiss and to inspire fear as needed.

Biden never fought in that division, but he's the closest thing we have now.  So practically speaking if he can harness Obama's email list and ground troops, he could win.

When you back the favorite and the favorite wins, the payoff is lower than when you bet a winning long shot.  But a win is a win.

As for Clinton, we don't really know what she stands for. And we certainly don't know what she'd do or try to do as President. It’s not sure she knows either.  

At the moment, Trump is the only republican who counts. Want a reason? His traveling medicine show touches on the fears and desires of plenty of dems who oppose immigration and are tired of the do-nothing, gerbil wheel the presidency has become.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015

1530 Johnny Pipes

1530 Johnny Pipes

So you think plumbers make a lot of money? Listen to this! Gianni P. of The Bronx, New York. Lives in Westchester now. Has a big house with a big lawn and no shrubbery. Says he likes his view without anything in the way. His view is the street. Not much of a view. Paid a million, two for the place, spent another half a mil fixing it up.

Good money in plumbing.

They call him Johnny Pipes. He says that is a slur against ordinary citizens of Italian lineage, which he calls “Italian abstraction.” They call him Johnny Pipes because he is the Michelangelo of plumbers. You need a bathroom, a kitchen, maybe a basement sink? You need something that leads from the house to the sewer? Johnny’s the guy to call. He’ll make it work beautifully and better yet, what you look at when you look at it is a work of art.

His shop’s still in the old neighborhood. Doesn’t get a lot of calls from the new one. But those who DO call are always happy. Johnny wouldn’t have it any other way. Art. Not just plumbing, but ART.

Last year, Johnny took in maybe as much as his house cost. And most of the time he works alone.

The apartments in the Bronx need a lot of work. They don’t need art. But they get it anyway.

And he keeps unusual hours.

He’s in at maybe five or 5:30 in the morning. And sometimes he works well into the night. Work is play when you love your job.

So how does this guy pull down a million bucks in a year, buy a house in Westchester and take the wife and kids on a cruise to the islands at least once in awhile.

Art. Industrial art.

Johnny Pipes has a sideline and it’s a pretty good one. He’s in there early, working at the lathe, firing up the blowtorch, that kind of thing. Makes small pipes out of big ones. Threads the ends. Fills the insides with little pieces of aluminum and fiberglass and sometimes when he can get it, asbestos.

These are not for the kitchen, bathroom, basement or sewer.

These screw onto the fronts of handguns. Makes them more efficient, in a way.

All that stuff in the pipe does slow the bullet down a tad if the gun is fired. That’s not the efficient part. The efficient part is when you fire the thing, it doesn’t usually make enough noise to disturb the neighbors.

Not only is he an artist, he’s a considerate artist.

These efficiency gizmos, he calls “sculpture.” His customers call them “silencers” which Johnny doesn’t much care for. Why? Because you still hear something of a “pop” when the thing’s used. It isn’t right to call it “silent” when it’s just “quiet.”

An artist, and an honest one at that. No false advertising here.

Art like this is expensive. It’s hard to find. And the market is excellent. Booming, in fact.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

Note: this post originally ran in August, 2006.

© WJR 2006, 2015