Chutzparama

advance for Saturday 12/17/05

We used to define chutzpa with this example: A boy kills his parents and throws himself on the mercy of the court because he’s an orphan.

Now, comes Kenneth Lay, Kenny Boy to his pal the President, and he ups the ante.

The orphan in the fictional murder case had nothing on the disgraced corporate dealmaker.

Kenny Boy is throwing himself on the mercy of… his former employees and the public.

He’s on the banquet circuit, telling all who will listen that he’s a victim of overzealous prosecution.

His wife has gone on TV to cry poverty and wring her hands about possible bankruptcy.

But Mother Jones Magazine reports the Lays hid assets in insured annuities that will pay them about $900,000 a year and the creditors can’t touch it.

You gotta feel for this guy.

The White House has probably stopped taking his phone calls. The former employees with poached nest eggs probably would lynch him if they thought the could get away with it.

Kenny Boy is following the playbook developed by other disgraced Bushies, including the President himself.

The war in Iraq? Worth it, says the President. He keeps pounding that idiotic message figuring the Goebels technique was good enough for Kindly Old Uncle Adolf, and it should be good for the rest of us.

Political money laundering? Tom DeLay says he’s the victim of overzealous prosecution.

Leaking the identity of a CIA undercover agent? Karl Rove (“Turd Blossom,” the President calls him, appropriately,) says he did no such thing.

This is the time of year we expect to hear appeals for help from people who need stuff. Not enough food, can’t pay the rent, battered and abused, too sick to work, that kind of things.

There are volunteer Santas or Salvation Army bell-ringers on every corner. The newspapers are filled with the needs of the neediest.

Victims of AIDS, or discrimination or other horrors are telling us of their plights in person, by mail, by telephone, in advertisements and billboards.

There is enough poverty and misery and illness and abuse to go around. And around. And around. But this is America. There’s always room for more.

So let’s lump Kenny Boy, Tom DeLay, Scooter Libby, Turd Blossom and that whole sorry lot into the same stewpot as the guy down the street who can’t afford his heating bill or the guy with the cup of coins on the subway.

If there isn’t a Kenny Boy Legal Defense Fund, there ought to be. After all, he can’t touch those annuity payouts for another year or so.

Actually, if he’s convicted of the various schemes and bilkings and shell game trading for which he’ll eventually go to trial, he won’t need the money. He’ll have room and board, a steady job and lifetime security there in the Texas lockup.

Maybe he and Bernie Ebbers can start a craft circle. Maybe the President can display their wicker baskets and such at one of his “We’re Bringing Freedom To Iraq” cheering sessions.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.™

©wjr 2005