Wednesday, February 08, 2006

The Razor's Edge(s)

(44) The Razor’s Edge(s)

They now have a “safety razor” that has six blades.

Five are on one side, and a sixth on the reverse.

This is so you can shave with the “comfort” of five blades and then attack the “tricky places” with the sixth.

It’s about time, Big Shaving came out with something for the “tricky places.”

Does your face play tricks on you?

Like, for example, getting old and ugly?

Your stomach plays tricks on you. It gets large for no apparent reason. It gets upset after a meal that starts with a cocktail, continues into wine with the food, ends with a Kahlua and coffee and continues on to a post-dinner six pack of Sam Adams.

That’s what they must mean by six pack abs.

Your back and knees have “tricky places” So do your teeth. And your arteries. And maybe your organ of reproduction.

So, as your body parts start playing tricks on you it’s well to pay heed and do something about them.

Thanks to Gillette for setting the pace.

No more puny THREE blade razors! We’ve got Six-count ‘em-six blades to scramble our tricky faces.

And to go with it, a new shaving gel that comes out of the can a deep blue you never find in nature, and goes on white.

Except that when it spatters all over the sink and the bathroom floor it stays blue. Bluer than their original “blue blades,” which they no doubt don’t make anymore.

And this stuff ain’t cheap. You walk out of Duane Reade with a razor, an extra pack of blades and a couple of cans of the different types of gels and you’re twenty bucks lighter. Even if you buy the razor that DOESN’T have the battery and vibrator built in.

You have to hand it to the marketing geniuses at Gillette, though. They’ve figured out a way to keep you coming back for expensive stuff by updating their shavers more often than Intel speeds up computer chips.

And since the company bought Duracell, they figured out a way to make you use more batteries, too, by putting them in shavers for no apparent reason.

There’s something offputting about an electrical device you use at the same time as you use running water. But, as yet, no one has died from electric shock while shaving with one of these. They’ll have to raise the voltage.

So, after all this, is the shave any good?

Well, that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Yes and no.

Yes, it’s smooth, alright.

But if you need your glasses to see your face, you can’t get a decent shave with ANYTHING.

Or you have to put them on while shaving, which messes them up even more than they usually are.

Save a bundle. Grow a beard.

Spend zero on a razor and shaving gel, and hide the “tricky parts” of your face all at the same time.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.™

©wjr 2006

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