The Ultimate Apprentice/American Idol

(57) The Ultimate Apprentice/American Idol

Hey, Jughead, you’re fired! Donald Trump’s not around to say the words, and there are no NBC cameras handy to record the event. But that’s okay, because this is no TV show, this is midterm election time, and you’re a stone around everyone’s neck. Even candidates of your own party. Especially candidates of your own party.

Christmas, man! Did you ever think that baloney about Iraq would fly once people caught on to your act?

How about that port giveaway? It took us awhile to wise up to that one, Porgey. Thanks for making it tough. If you had approved (or turned a blind eye toward) a deal with some of our other friends – North Korea, Syria, Iran or maybe Pakistan, we would have caught on to that Texas style pile of horse manure much faster.

Jughead! Trump would have canned your sorry butt long before we will.

Maybe “The Apprentice” is the wrong TV show. Maybe American Idol would be better. And more democratic. With a small “d.”

People watching Fox are more likely to like you than people watching NBC. But even THEY wouldn’t take this long to figure you out. Call 1888 IDOL 01 and vote “No!”

Tax refunds? Tax reductions? That’s bribery, and you got us cheap, those of us inclined to vote.

You’re there in Washington and (even more often, it seems) in Texas nattering about globalism and Islamic fundamentalism and Christianic fundamentalism (you see a adifference. Many others don’t. Except the muslim bombs actually work most of the time and the bombers have the good sense to take themselves out of the picture. We still have YOUR best bomber, Pat Robertson, who, as you, doesn’t have the grace to go down with his sinking ship, to mix a metaphor.)

And while you’re doing all that, your right hand man/puppetmaster is off getting drunk and shooting people for real, and lining the pockets of his former employer.

And what a deal THEY got. A name-brand CEO followed by a windfall of perfectly legal free money.

When you owned a baseball team, something else you did badly, you wouldn’t have kept a pitcher with a record like yours.

Even YOU would have spotted a guy like that and canned him, Jughead.

So, get out of town, Jug. And take Brownie and Condie and Dennis and Dick and Rummy and Tony Ducks Scalia and Silent Clarence and all those other drones with you.

How the hell are we going to stop Hillary when you keep lining her path from Westchester to the White House with rose petals?

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2006 WJR