Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Organization Woman

#311 The Organization Woman

Organized. Gotta get organized. Gotta straighten up this mess. Put things in order. Make it easier to use.

Many of us used to think that “organized” meant having your stuff around so you could easily get to the things you needed when you needed them.

Unpaid bills on this corner of the desk top. Pens over here. Telephone over there. That kind of thing.

But there’s a new definition. It says organization is having everything look neat. The notion of “use” doesn’t arise. If it looks good, it’s organized. If it’s neat, it’s organized. If it is uncluttered, it’s organized.

Since joining forces with the Organization Woman, the office never looked so good. Books are in size places (used to use author or subject classification,) and there are far fewer of them.

There’s almost nothing on the desk. No pens. No papers. Just the computer and the phone and one of those big box office supply store “organizer” thingies in which you can store a checkbook and maybe a couple of envelopes.

In order to get at anything necessary, you have to move ten other things. And it’s not just the desk. It’s the rooms. And there are a lot of rooms.

Want paper towels? Why they’re in the paper towel holder. And where is that? One’s in plain sight in the kitchen. (that’ll soon be “corrected.” The other is under the bathroom sink.

Think about it. Why do you use paper towels? Because something wet has to be dried. Like, say, the washable electric shaver. Gotta remember to open the cabinet door, remove the makeup carrier, get the paper towel holder out, close the door, use, clean and wipe the shaver, then restore the paper towel holder beneath the cabinet, reposition the the make up caddy (which side is “out?) and most of all, CLOSE THE CABINET DOOR.

The water glasses are in a kitchen cabinet. We use them at three meals a day. They look great in the cabinet. See ‘em? Right there, behind the never used tea cups. And when you’re finished removing the tea cups, getting out the glasses, replacing the teacups, don’t forget to CLOSE THE CABINET DOOR.

Dishtowels, dishes, laundry products, all in a row. Perfect. On view. If Queen Elizabeth should make an unannounced visit, she’d be pleased.

Good thing Liz doesn’t have to get her own glass or paper towel.

It’s all perfectly organized. Until it isn’t.

The Organization Woman is also the Handy Mover. Points are given if you can spot which items she has moved from one perfectly good location to another.

Even the flowers are organized. (I HATE fresh flowers. They’re way too much work. Let’s get artificial flowers. Followed by: Those artificial flowers never change. They have no life. Let’s get rid of them and get some real ones…. Followed by…..)

Those of us who are slobs at heart have found a solution, or at least a partial one. Put stuff in drawers in a way that they remain accessible and useful and useable.

But to keep the secret secret, don’t forget to CLOSE THE DRAWERS and hope no one looks.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2007 WJR

1 comment:

pipskippy said...

Oh man, I'm sure you've checked out how much money the organization industry makes by selling us stuff to organize our stuff. This shit is crazy. Whole closet organization systems for all the clothes and shoes you don't wear. Office organization systems for 'home office'. I have a work office and that's plenty. A filing cabinet and maybe a shredder is all you need, and a tight wallet. I must admit I do have an organizer of sorts - Microsoft Money- that organizes my various assets which is nice, but it's not really taking up space just like the mutual funds don't.

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