Is your memory foam
mattress’ memory selective? Like when that special someone spends the
night, does he or she leave a lasting impression? If there’s a second
special someone, does the memory of the first one lingering on?
And what happens when
the mattress gets old and starts forgetting things? Maybe they should
start combining memory foam mattrii with digital assistants.
“Serta! Barbie is coming
over tonight. Please set for her size.” “Setting dimensions for Barbie.”
“Hey, Sealy! Ken’s
coming over tonight please set for his size.”
“There are two people
named ‘Ken’ in your contact list. Which would you like to set for?”
“Wake up, Simmons. I’m
about to make the bed with fitted sheet ‘tan number five.’ Please adjust.”
“You have washed ‘tan
number five’ 14 times. It has shrunk by 2% from the original. Pulling in my corners two inches each and
will restore when the fitted sheet is on properly.”
“OK, Springaire.”
“Listening.”
“The grandchildren are
coming over for lunch today. Please adjust to withstand their bouncing.”
“Are they bringing the
dog? Listening.”
“Yes.”
“Adjusting for bouncing
grandchildren plus dog.”
Memory foam is not just
for mattresses anymore. They put it in everything they can. Shoes, pillows, pen grips, chairs of almost
every description including car seats, baby strollers and carriages. They
put it in dog houses and don’t be surprised if they start putting it in carpet
padding and Fitbit bands.
And -- this is only
rumor -- one of the major bathtub makers is experimenting with an eye to
developing a non-skid, waterproof bathtub liner. That’ll be followed by a
waterproof digital assistant. We already
have the technology for that with showerproof radios.
And now a word from our
sponsor:
Does your memory foam
mattress forget you? Is it aging?
Try Reviva-Foam and make it smile again.
Reviva-foam is not for
everyone. Side effects include new or increased sagging, lumpiness,
flattening or depressed centers. If any of these conditions develop, stop using
Reviva-Foam and call your mattress doctor immediately. Not recommended for
children under six. Use only as directed and make your mattress remember you.
GRAPESHOT:
-The reason trump uses
markers: they no longer allow him to handle sharp instruments.
-The reason Facebook
shouldn’t face antitrust charges: There’s no monopoly on stupid.
-If everything is
offensive, who do you complain to?
-A hat-tip to NOAA for
drinking trump-aid and reversing its position on whether hurricane Dorian would
flatten Alabama.
I’m Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Comments? Send ‘em
here: wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2019
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