4623 Rats Jumping the Sinking Ship

This brings a whole new meaning to “third time’s the charm.” If you’re a trumpette, you’d better listen to Moscow Mitch. Distance yourself from the “president” before he goes under for the third time.

There’s an upside to this. trump himself has written your speech. Here is a choice of lines to use when asked why you’re following Mitch’s advice:

--I didn’t vote in 2016. I wasn’t feeling well. I sure wish we had had mail-in ballots.

--I don’t know the guy very well.

But sir, you were chief of staff. How can you say that?

--We may have had a passing relationship but we never were close.

Other possible lines:

--I may have met him years ago. I really don’t remember.

--I never met the guy.

--Who?

Fashion Tips (Men):

--Dark blue suit, jacket closed. 

--Patterned (not solid color) tie and make sure it doesn’t dangle below the belt.

--Leave the elevator shoes at home.

--No hair or skin coloring.

--Conservative “normal” hairdo.

Fashion Tips (Women):

--No pantsuits.

--Subtle makeup.

--No unusual hair coloring.

Public speaking:

--No outstretched arms when making a point.

--Speak in complete sentences.

--Keep those sentences reasonably short.

--Minimize adjectives.

--Carefully restrict references to dictators unless answering a direct question.

--Praise Fauci using direct examples of his work.

These are subliminal ideas. The basic notion behind them is “don’t remind people of trump.  Don’t sound like him, dress like him, gesture like him.”

More concrete steps:

--Don’t deny you once supported trump. Embrace it but add that you’ve come to your senses.

--When you have a plan to solve a problem, don’t just say so. Instead, say so when only when you can outline the steps you intend to take.

Education:

--Do not inflate your class standing, be it high or low. Do not name the college if you attended or graduated unless asked.

--Let others describe your academic achievements, if any.

Military:

--If you were in one of the armed forces, name it. 

--If you were in the Reserves or National Guard, and not the regular army, navy, marines, air force, or coast guards, be clear about it. There are a jillion real vets and career military. Many of them consider the Guard and the Reserves as toy soldiers.  They won’t vote for you unless you fess up.

--Do not pose in uniform, even if it still fits.

Release your tax returns.

Emphasize your long-standing differences with trump.

Be sure to remember you are a rat jumping a sinking ship and that your aim is the good of the country and the preservation of other jumping rats.

The water will chill you to the bone when you first land. But like any other swimmer, you’ll get used to it.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them.

Any Questions? wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2020