957 More On Lipitor

957 More On Lipitor

Let’s start with this tidbit from Wessay™ 955:

Lipitor $4 Co-pay:
With the patent expired and generics available, the maker of this drug wants you to buy it through its own mail order pharmacy/partner which won’t let you if you’re on Medicare or a Medicare advantage plan... and this is not clear on the application.

Now we add:

But wait, there’s more!

Lipitor is expensive.  The co-pay is $200 for a three month supply.  So, Pfizer has started advertising the four dollar co-payment plan.  Apply, and maybe get on this cholesterol lowering gravy train (theirs, not yours,) and pay as little for it as you would for the generic now that the patent has expired.

They put you through application hoops, and the last one is “Leave your phone number and we’ll call you back in the next 48 hours” to confirm all the stuff you’ve said.”  And they do.

And then they tell you that Medicare Advantage insurance disqualifies you for this program.  

Final words to the operator:  “If you would make that clear on the application, you wouldn’t be wasting my time and yours.”
SLAM!

Okay, deed done.

But wait!  There’s STILL more.

The next day arrives in the e-mail a downloadable, printable $4 Lipitor discount card.

Okay.  So who’s right, the phone lady or the e-mail?

Let’s call the help line.

The help line is automated.  Really automated.  No human contact.  Okay.  Let’s call the financial aid line.  The financial aid line says “oh, we don’t cover that.  I’ll give you a number where you can call a live operator to ask your question.”

For reference, here it is: 1-877-234-3050. Save it.  You may need it.  It’s unlisted.

First thing happens is the live operator -- sounding like Lily Tomlin’s “Ernestine” starts reading a pitch for Lipitor.

Customer:  “Please stop reading the pitch. I know all that stuff. But I have a question.”
Operator: “...and when you take Lipitor you will...”
C: “Ma’am, please!”
O: Oh.  Okay, what’s your question?
C: “Why was I turned down for a card and then you sent me a card? And who is right, the lady who rejected me or the e-mail?”
O: “Oh, that must have been sent by someone other than us.  A local doctor or pharmacy...”
C: “Ma’am, no local doctor or pharmacy has an e-mail that ends in “pfizer.com.”
O: “... must have been sent by a local doctor or …”
C: “Madam, it was sent by Pfizer.  Who is right, the live operator or the e-mail?”
O: “...pharmacy.  Uh... the live operator.”
C: “Thank you.  Have a nice day.”
SEMI-SLAM.

Should bill them for time spent.

Shrapnel:

--Lynn Samuels has died.  One of the loudest and least predictable progressive radio hosts, she had no problem taking on president Obama along in addition to the right wing army that dominates and imperils this country.  Samuels was 69 and from Woodside, Queens -- which was unmistakable in her sound if not her views.


--Most phone call dialogues on this site end in “CLICK.”  These deserved “SLAM.”  And thanks to William A. Musser for teaching that the satisfying, phone-smashing “SLAM” can’t be heard by the party who is being SLAMmed.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2011

956 What Killed Danny Chen?

956 What Killed Danny Chen?

This is the kind of war story that gets lost at a time when the focus is soldiers coming home from Iraq and Afghanistan, surprising their children at school band concerts or on the tarmacs of airports in their home towns.

Danny Chen was a casualty of the war in Afghanistan. He wasn’t the victim of a roadside bomb or a Taliban attack.  He wasn’t the victim of friendly fire or an accident. Eventually the army will figure out whether he put a gun beneath his chin and pulled the trigger or someone else did that for him or to him. He is most certainly dead. But he didn’t kill himself.

They held a funeral in October, in New York’s Chinatown, where Chen lived and his parents live in public housing, and there, read his letters home out loud.

Here’s part of one of them, as quoted by the NBC New York website:
"Feb. 27, 2011: Since I am the only Chinese person here, everyone knows me by Chen” "They ask if I'm from China a few times a day... They also call out my name Chen in a goat-like voice sometimes for no reason."
"People crack jokes about Chinese people all the time. I'm running out of jokes to come back at them."


Pvt. Chen was 19 years old and in a guard tower in Kandahar when the shot rang out.  He was on duty with the 3rd Battalion, 21st Infantry Regiment, 1st Stryker Brigade Combat Team of the 25th Infantry Division.  And now, eight of his fellow American soldiers have been charged in his death.

Would they have been charged without pressure from Chen’s mother,  Su Zhen Chen?  His father?  His neighbors?  

So, now come accusations out of the law books and the Uniform Code of Military Justice:  dereliction of duty.  Telling lies to the MPs.  Assault. Manslaughter.

What was Danny Chen’s crime, something that would provoke the kind of treatment he is said to have received from his fellow soldiers?  Well, he was a Chinese American and that’s a start.  One night he forgot to turn the water heater off after taking his shower.  So others, apparently including some of his superiors, dragged him out of bed and showered him with physical abuse and racial slurs.  Can’t let a switch in the “on” position go unpunished, no way!

But there were other instances in which Chen was singled out, some of them undisclosed as of now. The army is trying to figure out what, if anything, to do and who do it to.

One thing they haven’t done and maybe won’t do is release the soldier’s diary, possibly a careful record of what went on over there.  But they promise a thorough investigation, whatever that means.  Maybe we’ll eventually know if one of the eight charged men pulled the trigger or put Danny in to position to pull it himself.  And maybe we won’t.

But it’s pretty safe to say these are eight guys -- no, make that nine guys -- who shouldn’t have been together, or maybe shouldn’t be in the army at all.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them.
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2011

955 Some Very Short Takes

955 Some Very Short Takes:

North Korea:
The new leader will usher in a new era in Pyongyang as soon as his babysitter gives the okay.

Candidates for the Republican presidential nomination:
-Romney is a 14 year old girl.
-Paul is the cranky old neighbor known for "get your dog off my lawn," and who wants to do the 14 year old girl.
-Gingrich is the community college professor who resents that no four-year school would hire him, when he “just knows” he belongs at Harvard.
-Perry is a life size John Wayne action figure, only dumber.
-Huntsman is Rick Perry with a brain which is turned off.
-Little Ricky Sanatorium is Romney after too many diet pills.
-Bachmann is the home-schooling soccer mom driving an SUV with a "baby on board" placard who careens around you to steal the last parking space.

And if Cain were still in the contest:  Mr. Magoo with one of those four hour erections the Viagra ads keep warning about.

Democratic Presidential Candidate:
Will there be one?

Jerry Sandusky:
“I met him once and immediately felt like taking a shower; good thing I didn’t.” --Anonymous.

Speaking of Penn State:
Some students can’t count higher than nine so when you order the ten piece at the local KFC, open the bucket and count before leaving the counter.

Checkout counters:
Why can’t they make them with extra room at the end so the guy who has to carefully fold his receipt and enter his purchase in the checkbook or count the change for the coffee he bought with a $100 bill doesn’t hold up the line?

Lowe’s:
“I never liked them, anyway.” -- Mahmoud al-Abouzavala bin Salamoudouz, freelance chemist and student pilot, Windsor, Ont.

Piers Morgan:
“I never liked him, anyway.”  -- Larry King.

T-Mobil:
Jilted under appropriate pressure by suitor at&t, but keeps the dowry and has no plans to stop advertising its 4-G network in jingles that make it sound like they’re singing “orgy network.”

General Electric:
Finally gets its 100 year old wish to fully get out from under Thomas Edison by ending American production of incandescent lightbulbs, decades after ending its production of phonograph records.

The Ed Koch Bridge:
No one ever calls it that and no one ever will and did you expect any different?

Lipitor $4 Co-pay:
With the patent expired and generics available, the maker of this drug wants you to buy it through its own mail order pharmacy/partner which won’t let you if you’re on Medicare or a medicare advantage plan... and this is not clear on the application.

WestraDamus 2012 Update:
Plans to scrap the website have been scrapped and 2011 in Non Prophecy will be available at http://westradamus.com/ after all.  Eventually.

Reader Comment:
This from John Gibson of State College, PA.  and refers #954, The Fountains of Russia:

  It is a common misunderstanding that Santa Claus lives at the North Pole of Planet Earth.  In fact he is from the North Pole of Planet Xyurk, in another solar system.  He travels by UFO till he reaches Earth's atmosphere, then switches to sleigh and reindeer for the local travel.
  He also serves 82 quadrillion other solar systems, which makes for a busy night each year.
 It is another error to believe that he is Greek.  Does he look Greek to you?
 Nor is he a Christian saint, as is commonly supposed.  Ever see him visit a church?  He represents a kind of paganism native to his native planet.  It advises being good but otherwise doesn't tell people what to do.

Reader Question:
If there’s a war on Christmas why is there no war on Hanukkah?  Answer:  There can’t be until everyone agrees on one spelling -- then you can go to war.

Holiday Shopping Tip:
It’s December 21st.  If you haven’t finished your gift list yet, you’re beyond help.  The stores are all open from very very early to very very late.  Some are open 24 hours.  Get cracking! If you have finished, congrats.  Don’t forget, the big post-Christmas sales start on 12/26.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2011

954 The Fountains of Russia

954 The Fountains of Russia

Ah, Moscow in winter!  The snow on St. Basil’s.  Throngs of holiday shoppers flocking to Gum. Putin and Medvedev ready to switch jobs.  But fountains?  For that you have to move a little to the northeast.  Well, more than a little.

These fountains are under the Arctic Ocean, and apparently there are hundreds of them, where there used to be just a few.  And they are huge.  It’s not easy to make a working fountain when surrounded by water.  So those innovative, crafty Russians use methane.
Can’t wait for the cruise ads.  “Come to the Arctic in Winter... toss coins into the methane fountains.  It’s good luck.”

Um... these fountains are stalking horses (stalking fish?) for climate change.  The Arctic shelf is melting.  Methane spews are a sign of that.  And apparently these lovely plumes throw tons of warm gas into the atmosphere.

The big worry, especially at this time of year, is Santa, his elves and his reindeer. If the area’s melting, what happens to the workshop?

St. Nicholas may be Greek, but look where he moved.  And given the current economic situation in Greece, it’s no surprise he left.  But now what?

Rest assured that he has things under control.  After all, he’s a saint!  And who knows better how to handle crises?

Two things have happened:  First, Santa has outsourced much of his work to China.  You can prove that for yourself by reading the labels of the stuff he puts under your tree this year.

Second, he has established an outpost at the South Pole, which apparently is free of methane fountains, and will re-locate his headquarters there.  Better air, too.

He has dispatched his Chief Deputy Elf to supervise the construction personally.  He also has dispatched several others to establish a flying school for penguins and will hold a worldwide contest to name the 12 or 15 required to pull the sleigh.  (Penguins aren’t as strong as reindeer, so he’ll have more mouths to feed.)

Santa’s workshop and mass transit system will remain intact in a new, larger and less poisonous location.

So while the Arctic may soon be gone, it’ll be business as usual for Christmases to come.  If there are Christmases to come.

(This post is based on information from and an idea first formed and suggested by Carole Mol.)




Shrapnel:
--As part of the budget deal, the Senate has put off the execution of the most famous resident of death row, the incandescent light bulb.  You’ll now be able to buy them right through October of 2012.  We had some thoughts on that issue in October 2006 and they haven’t changed.


Holiday Shopping Tip:
Give the gift of lightbulbs!  Now’s the time to stock up.  Beat the September, 2012 rush.  They make great presents and the recipients will be ever so grateful. Sixties, 100s, 40s, 25s for the chandelier and the bathroom mirror, soft white, cool white, plain glass, full spectrum.  Any kind will do.  And don’t forget yourself, this holiday season.  


I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2011

953 The Holiday Card

953 The Holiday Card

Sometimes sending a holiday card takes more preparation and thought than buying a car or deciding which college to apply to.

The card in question is going overseas.  The recipient is on in years and though highly intelligent, cultured and literate, though his English is limited.  Also he doesn’t celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday.  So step one is finding a card that conveys a warm wish without a lot of words or that has pictures of decorated pine trees, crosses, Santas, snow- covered churches, and in this particular case, white people.

That’s a lot easier than it used to be in large urban areas.  Not so much in the sticks.  But it’s still possible, especially if you’re paying list price at Hallmark instead of buying the same card in, say, Wal-Mart or the 99-cent store.

Okay, so you have the card.  What about postage?  The Postal Service website can help you there.  First, wade through a dozen pages and find the list of countries.  Then pick the kind of mail you want to use.  In this case, it was “flat envelope with something stiff inside,” which is not the same as a letter of the same dimensions.  The e-z calculator reports this item will go to its destination for $2.47.

Then, what about stamps?  Christmas?  Holiday?  American flag?  Liberty Bell?  If you have current stamps, how many do you need to make $2.47?  The answer is 5.632.  Since the postal service won’t take “.632” that makes six stamps unless you have a supply of one or five cent stamps handy, which most of us don’t. Then it’s eight stamps at minimum.  But you have to put the address on the envelope in two languages, one they can read here and one they can read on the receiving end.  Too many stamps and you can’t fit everything on the envelope. Solution:  take it to the post office, where they have stamps of higher denominations.

Then, there is the return address label.  Use one with Santa’s face?  No.  Too Christmassy. How about one with a puppy’s face?  Nah.  Too cute.  One that advocates a cause?  Inappropriate.  One that gives only one name instead of “The so-and-so family?”  Too impersonal.  Hand written return address wins the contest even though there are 80 varieties of stickers in the drawer.

At the post office, the clerk says “that’ll be 98 cents, sir.”  Wait a minute.  Ninety eight cents?  What happened to $2.47?  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.  This card costs 98 cents to mail.”

That would have meant three stamps and we could have thrown the thing in the outgoing mail and not stood on line half an hour at the post office.



Shrapnel (Fashion Statement Edition):
--Sometimes when you don’t remember what you’re wearing, questions can be startling.  Like when the checker outer at the supermarket asks “are you wearing high heels?”  No, but I was wearing my official "High Heels Hot Flashes" hat and had forgotten.

--People who work very early in the morning and dress in the dark are prone to this:  A black shoe on one foot and a brown on the other.   Gotta get some night vision goggles to solve that one.  Oh, but wait... don’t they make everything look green?

--There are two men’s clothing items tied for the ugliest-possible-garment award.  They are the Polo shirt and the tie.  Good taste can mitigate the effect of the latter.  But the former is irredeemable.

Holiday Shopping Tip:
Pay for gift wrap if the service is available.  The store will do a better job than you will and do it faster.  The nominal fee is worth the expense because when you arrive home with the gifts after a day at the mall, the last thing you’ll want to do is haul out the paper and the tape and the tag and stick-on bows and start fooling with all that stuff when you want to be having dinner and vegging in front of the tube or computer for the evening.  Putting it off until tomorrow doesn’t help.  Tomorrow arrives and you still have to do all that stuff.  Throw a pad of sticky notes in your pocket or purse and use one for each wrapped box to make sure you remember who gets what.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2011

952 Move Along, Folks, There's Nothing to See

952 Move Along, Folks, There’s Nothing to See

(BELLEFONTE,  Pa.) --  Baby, it’s cold outside, maybe 20 degrees.  And it’s dark. The Dairy Queen is open early and doing a brisk business, trying to keep up with the demand for coffee.  Diagonally across the street is the Centre County, Pennsylvania courthouse, lit up by a forest of TV lights.  Streets leading to it are closed.  You can’t get there from here.  Not by car, anyway.

If you landed here from Mars this morning, you’d think the only motor vehicles they use on earth are big trucks with satellite dishes sticking up from them because that’s all you can see.  That and patrol cars with their rooftop bubble gum flashing red, white and blue.

This crowd was here to report on or to watch the accused rapist of little boys, Jerry Sandusky, the former assistant football coach at nearby Penn State and founder of a little kid charity, the Second Mile. But there is to be no appearance, other than a cameo.  This was to be a preliminary hearing.  Everyone who is anyone from the media is here.  Any big name TV company, newspaper, magazine.  Even some lowly bloggers.

But Sandusky declined his right to today’s hearing.  His lawyer says that decision was made only last night.

Move along, folks.  There’s nothing to see.

Sandusky’s accusers thus won’t be questioned.  Not until the trial, if there is one.  A leading indicator that there won’t be:  both defense and prosecution are swearing by all that’s holy that there has been “no talk of a plea deal.”  Which usually means they’re talking plea deal.

The non-hearing has an advantage for the prosecution.  It doesn’t have to present one of its star witnesses, whose testimony has sustained considerable erosion due to its apparent changing every few days.  Everyone wins.  Well, almost everyone.  There are those former little boys, for example, the ones the prosecution calls victims and the defense calls accusers.

Then there are all those TV reporters and their crews.  Their companies spent tens of thousands of dollars sending them here, getting them hotel rooms, feeding them and fueling their trucks.

What’ll they all do?  Easy.  They’ll stand up in front of the courthouse where all those lights are... and they’ll guess.  They’ll analyze.  They’ll interview experts.  They’ll interview men and women on the street.  In other words, nothing.

Move along, folks.  There’s nothing to see.

Shrapnel:

--Everyone following this case is familiar with the slick, maybe too slick defense attorney Amendola, but today was a first meeting with the prosecutor, Costanzo.  If he actually tries the case, he’ll be a subtle asset for the defense.  Costanzo has that same stilted, artificial, mechanical courtesy of the cop who pulls you over for running a stop sign or speeding, and the same underlying, dead-eye threat that goes with it.

--You have to feel at least a little sorry for Joe Paterno, who fell at home and fractured his pelvis soon after a diagnosis of lung cancer. His doctor is quoted as saying he expects a full recovery from both.  Then with a finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney doc rose.

Holiday Shopping Tip:  

Back before Seinfeld made him famous, mail order merchant J. Peterman included shipping charges in the price of his goods so he could say “We don’t charge for shipping and handling, and we don’t even know what handling is.”  Since then, he’s learned.  So like almost everyone else, he now has a chart for how much shipping and handling comes to.  But he doesn’t tell us about his discovery:  the definition of handling.

Other merchants have caught on to the original Peterman “hide the shipping cost” template.  LL Bean isn’t charging -- at least so’s you’d notice.  Lands’ End has free shipping offers almost as often as it issues catalogues.  Even some of the major department stores include this in the price of the goods.   But careful on those:  often you have to spend a certain amount before shipping becomes “free.”

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2011

951 New International Call Centers

951 New International Call Centers

We all know that talking to a call center in India is like having a conversation with a chicken.  The ones in Indonesia and the Philippines are a little better.  At least the chickens are lower pitched and talk slower.   But what if American business started using call centers elsewhere?

(Accents removed for clarity most times):

Germany:  
Operator: Hello, this is Fritz.  How may I be of service?
Customer: Good morning, Fritz, this is Bob.  I’m having trouble assembling my Black & Decker polyvinyl tool cabinet.
O:  Good morgen to you, Bop, first give me the model number.
C:  It’s BD 402a.
O:  Guut.  Now, the serial number, if you please.
C:  Serial number?  I don’t seem to have that.
O:  It’s on page 272 of the instruction book.
C:  This one didn’t have an instruction book.
O:  I’m sorry, I can’t help you unless your papers are in order.  
CLICK.
---
Saudi Arabia:
Recording:  Allāhu Akbar. Welcome to Customer Service.  If you are a Saudi subject, press one.  All others, pleased to press 2.
“Beep.”
Recording:  You pressed one, indicating you are a Saudi subject.  If you are male, please press 1 for a male operator.  If you are (pause) female, please press 2 for a female operator.
“Beep Beep.”
Recording:  You pressed two for female.  If you cover, please press 1.  If not, please press 2.
“Beep Beep.”
CLICK.
---
Israel:
Operator:  Now what?
Customer: I took the rotary blades out of my electric shaver to clean them and now I can’t get them back together.
O:  What are you, stupid?  You put one in each little circle on the cover, put the little schmitchik in to lock them in place and you’re good to go.
C: Well, I tried that, but...
O: Look, you’re wasting my time.  You can’t put the thing back together, you shouldn’t have taken it apart.  Bring it back to Wal-Mart.
CLICK.
---
Mexico:
Recording:  Hola! Welcome to Customer Service.  Siesta is each day from 1pm to 3:30pm central time.  Please call back after 3:45.
CLICK.

England:
Operator:  “Are you there?”
Customer:  Yes, thank you.  I’m having a problem with my Mini Cooper.  
O: Terribly sorry, sir, what seems to be the trouble?
C:  It won’t start.
O: Oh, dear, that IS a problem, now, isn’t it?  Do you have petrol in the tank?
C: Yes, the tank is full.  But when I turn the key, the engine just cranks but won’t catch.
O: Well, we’ll be happy to take care of that for you.  Please give me your name and address and I’ll gladly send you a return label and authorization number.  All you have to do is drop the car in the post and we’ll take care of the problem for you.
C:  The mailbox?  It’s an automobile!
O: Oh, you may have to push a little.  But it’ll fit.
CLICK.

It’s enough to make you crave the talking chickens of Bhopal and Patna.

Holiday Shopping Tip:  Vinyl records haven’t died, they’ve just faded away, but not completely.  You still can get them at websites like Best Buy, Amazon, Soundstagedirect and others.  And if you type “vinyl” into the search block on Facebook, you’ll find a bunch of other sources.  Caution:  the discs are pricey.  Sometimes pricier than the machinery to play them (which also remains available.)  Why bother with 33s in the age of MP3s?  Because they sound wonderful, pops, clicks, scratches and all.


I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments thus:  For English:  wesrichards@gmail.com  all others: custservice@helpfordummies.net.
© WJR 2011