Monday, June 05, 2006

Dueling Dualists

93 The Long And Winding Road Or Dueling Dualism

Some people go in a straight line. Fine. Start at “A” and go to “B” and be done with it.

Others take a more serpentine route. They start at “A” or somewhere near it, and go to “B” but find a thousand distractions on the way, looping here and there first. Perhaps that’s where we get the term “loopy.”

This, too is fine.

The distinction is easy enough to figure out. And after that, you can pretty well figure out how someone will get from one place or thing to another.

People of the straight and narrow will seem rushed to people of the snake.

People of the snake will seem confused, confusing and inefficient to the straight shooters.

They can drive each other nuts or they can make accommodation for one another. Not always easy, but rarely impossible.

But there’s a third way.

Some people are straight sometimes and snaky at others.

And there seems no way to tell when one side or the other of this personality split will rule the body in which it lives.


It can take a Dualist 90 minutes between the proclamation “I’m going to take a shower now,” until you hear the water run. Sometimes more.

There are all those lovely things to do along the way.

But sometimes, the Dualist climbs on the monorail and the shower is on before you hear the last syllable of the proclamation.

Then, the snaky side kicks in and the hair doesn’t get dried for half an hour or longer.

The mere asking “when shall we have dinner?” can strike terror into the hearts of those who don’t know which “ism” is operating at the moment.

Impossible to impose one’s will on these guys, either.

In courtships or at work, the possibilities are endless.

A Dualist can take half an hour to decide whether to put sugar in the coffee this morning. And then he or she can switch sides and take ten seconds to decide “yes” on a purchase that costs a month’s salary. Or a year’s.

Buying a car? Okay, we’ll take it.

Now, off to the bakery to choose a pound of cookies, which can take all day.


The real problem is that the Dualists believe “my way or the highway,” and you never quite know what “my way” is.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2006 WJR

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