Friday, June 15, 2007

The News Conference

255 The News Conference

It’s about time the Washington press corps started asking some of the hard questions of our leaders.

The President gets up at that podium and invites questions, and gets mush-balls.

“Mister President, when will American Troops be leaving Iraq?”

“Mister President, are we planning to attack Iran?”

“…is inflation really a threat?”

“…how can we reduce our dependence on foreign oil, and what are you doing to bring down fuel prices?”

“…are you going to fire Gonzales? Rove?”

Total nonsense. Mush-balls designed to be countered by Presidential smokescreens. Wimpy.

One day, one of you bright lights, seeking to shine some of your own wattage on the true character and being-ness of this president.

“Mister President, how many States are there and what is each called?”

Think you’ll get a complete answer?

“Mr. President, what is the capital of Utah?”

“Mr. President, how big is Texas and is it the biggest state?”

“Mr. President, who was President the year you were born?”

“Mr. President, where is Tijuana?”

“A followup question if I may, Mr. President, on which coast of Venezuela is Tijuana?”

“Mr. President, have you switched to a single-malt scotch?”

“Mr. President, who fakes it better, Laura or Condi?”

Let’s see what’s really going on with this guy. We know he doesn’t know squat about Iraq or Iran or the War on Terra Firma or the economy – especially the economy – so let’s find out if he knows about his own staff, geography, history or the content of the beverages he claims no longer to drink.

After all, it’s Legacy Time. The term is winding down, and what’s he going to leave behind?

Verizon and AT&T have banded together to find a couple of old fashioned phone booths in which the Presidential Library will be located. Actually, there was some warring about that, too. The President wanted a used Good Humor Ice Cream truck. That would make it the first “books-on-wheels” Presidential Library. Plus if no one wanted to look at the Presidential stuff, they could at least get one of those Walnut Flake Good Humor bars.

Thing would roll through the streets, the little bells ringing, and kids would come out of the houses and look for ice cream, and the driver would say “sorry, kid, this is the George W. Bush Books-on-Wheels Presidential Library. Did you want to see the material on nucular destruction?”

Most Vice Presidents don’t get their own library. Cheney will. But it always will be closed. Too many secrets. And its location will be undisclosed. He’s good at “undisclosed.”

“Mr. President, how much does white bread cost?”

“A followup question, if I may, what is the price of a postage stamp?”

“Mr. President, may I see your license, registration and insurance card, please?”

“Mr. President, what was it like BEFORE the lobotomy? No, no, not yours, sir. Ours.”

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2007 WJR

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