Friday, January 16, 2009

499 Your Update Is Ready

499 Your Update Is Ready

The computer sometimes says it needs new clothes or code or something, and that it's "updates are ready now."  Sometimes you can make the annoying little box informing you go away.  Sometimes, it just restarts the computer for you.  At this point, there's no choice but to let the thing go through its gyrations and 15 or 20 minutes later your job is to re-connect to the internet, get rid of extraneous stuff it's put on your "desktop" and try to remember what you were doing when the computer threw you out and re-dressed.

In the future, we are told, "smart" appliances will also be connected to the internet.  Can't figure out why, but that's the word.

Which means, we get uncalled for "updates" for more than just our computers.

Can you imagine the little touch screen on your stove telling you "Updates for your burners are now ready.  Your burners will shut down in three minutes.  Please do not start cooking until the update is complete or you may lose your meal."


You put a couple of slices of Wonder Bread in the toaster, click on "file," a drop down menu appears and you click "toast."  Another drop down menu appears and you choose from among light, medium or dark.  This is followed by a "dialog box" asking you if you want to make "medium" the default setting for this operation.  You click "yes."  Then comes the bad news.  "Updates are available for your toaster.  Restart your toaster now?"

"Hello, this is Sears.  Updates are ready for your washing machine now.  You will not be able to use your washing machine until the updates are installed.  If you're already washing, the tub will drain and re-washing will begin after installation.  Please remember to add detergent, bleach and softener when it does."

You drive your Chevy Volt to the re-charge station, plug it in, swipe your credit card and the machine flashes a sign "Updates are ready for your electric car.  We will restart your electric car after the installation."  Your in a hurry?  Forget it.  Updates take precedence over your lowly needs and schedule.

Telephones, refrigerators, TV sets (especially HDTV sets,) coffee makers, sinks, bathtubs, toilets, trombones, door locks, windows (the kind you look through, not the kind on your computer) even pacemakers will all be updated by remote control.

This Wessay will restart while you're in the middle of reading it.  But it will have been updated.


--Everyone got off survived the Hudson River plane crash.  That makes the US Airways pilot a hero.  How much did US Air add to the passengers' bills for the cooked, chopped goose dinner?

--Global warming, anyone?  It's one degree above zero here at the Wessays secret mountain laboratory.  Everybody, talk -- raise some hot air, please.

--Oil prices are still falling.  But gasoline prices are rising again.  Anyone have an explanation?

I'm Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®
©WJR 2009

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