Friday, May 15, 2009

546 The Border

546 The Border

Some Bush guy tells congress the "enhanced interrogation" techniques in Iraq weren't torture.  They are "borderline torture."  That's kind of like borderline pregnant or borderline drunk or borderline bankrupt or borderline gay or borderline old.  Where's the border?  Depends on whom you ask.  And it depends on the standard.

Yeah, you throw a guy into the bathtub and throw a plugged in toaster oven in after him, that's probably pretty clear cut.  But waterboarding or making a prisoner watch ten back-to-back hours of "American Idol?"  Maybe that's borderline.  If you put a guy on the rack and stretch him until he pulls apart, that's torture.  But if you only stretch him out a little, but THREATEN to pull him limb from limb, is that borderline? Dripping water on someone's forehead is certifiable torture.  Maybe dripping bottled organic iced tea on someone's forehead is borderline.

Sitting in the dentist chair?  That's certifiable torture.  Sitting in a dentist's waiting room?  Borderline.

In real life, we know where the borders are.  We'll see a sign that says "Welcome to New Jersey," or the football will sail over one of those "H" shaped things at either end of the field.  Or a foul baseball goes into the stands.  Those borders we know.

There's a double yellow line in the road, we stay to the right of it.  You jump to the head of the supermarket checkout line?  Your fellow shoppers will let you know where the border is -- and they'll do it loud and they'll do it pronto.  You want to sell your house?  The surveyors will tell you exactly where the property starts and ends.

So what the Bushies did in Iraq is borderline torture.  A kinder, gentler torture.  But we'd best find out where that border lies.

We're building a wall on the southern boundary where Texas and California meet Mexico.   Maybe we should build a wall on THIS border, too.


--Attention, junk mailers!  Put your money where your mouth is.  If the catalog is stamped "This May Be Your Last Catalog (unless you order something from it,) and I don't order something from it, please make it my last catalog instead of sending a dozen more over the course of a year.

--Attention office workers!  The three or so of you who still have jobs.  Clean out the company fridge more often or you might be in for the San Jose Syndrome, where the fumes from old food were so rancid, they sent seven slackers to the hospital with a combination of symptoms caused by a combination of moldy old food and spanking new cleaning chemicals.

--Pageant owner Trump says Miss California will keep her crown despite her sociopathic statements and some more-or-less nude pictures.  Trump says he doesn't mind the pictures.  In fact there's word he says several of them hung in his apartment -- just for the educational value, of course.

I'm Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®
©WJR 2009

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