Friday, May 22, 2009

Desperately Seeking Perry

549  Desperately Seeking Perry

(MOUNT TANTAMOUNT PA.) -- There was this little thing I did for six years on the air at Bloomberg Radio:  I protested the general tone of the Bush II administration by never mentioning the guy on the air, even if he was the object of the story.  Even when it was a critical story.  Even in a casual interview or conversation.  

It started as a game.  The game was "how long can we go without saying the words "George W. Bush" in that order and still do the stories we needed to about the president.  Went the distance.  No one seemed to notice.

Here in Mount Tantamount, in semi retirement, a similar game with the local district attorney who is running for reelection.  No mention of his name not on the air, and not in this posting.   He's a Republican, but could just as easily been a Democrat.  Party doesn't much matter.   

He's a graduate of Bob Jones University of South Carolina (famous for prohibiting interracial dating at the time Mister District Attorney attended and for many years both before and after,) which is kind of like being a graduate of Famous Pipefitters' School of Plumbing, except at FPSP, you learn something valuable and they don't care who you date.

Mount Tantamount is a college town with a drinking problem.  So most of this guy's work is prosecuting DWI charges and penny ante drug deals, some of them set ups.  But there's the occasional murder, the periodic student protest or prank.  Not much of a big deal job.  But Mister D-A is making his mark.  How?

By charging student sitters-in with some quirky high crime, though they were peaceful.  By trying to prosecute a young woman who streaked (that's running naked) during an annual student event that takes place at midnight on a Sunday and is billed as a "streak."  

By labeling an upper lower size disturbance in town as a "riot," and lodging felony charges against the "rioters" including one guy who took pictures and whose pictures police used to identify other "rioters."  (Los Angeles had riots.  Newark.  This was not a riot to anyone who's ever been in a real one.)

By refusing to recuse himself from a case which he personally prosecuted and in which there was the appearance of a conflict of interest.

By being the only one in the local government who didn't know one of his top assistants was a sexual harassment case waiting to happen -- until it happened.

These are not secret happenings.  Everyone knows about them.  Everyone.

So comes the primary election a while ago and Mr. District Attorney is running unopposed on the Republican line a primary so devoid of voters you could play tennis in any polling place without disturbing anyone trying to cast a ballot.  

He won with 85 per cent of the vote.  Eighty five percent.  So that means 15% of the Republicans who voted opposed him.  And almost a thousand of those used write in ballots to vote for themselves or their neighbors or one of the Democrats.

The Democrats had three candidates for their party's nomination.  Fortunately, they didn't destroy each other during the campaign.  The winner on the Dem side is no Frank Hogan, either.  But next to Mr. District Attorney, she's Perry Mason.


--The real American Idol is a guy you never heard of, Bruce Gowers.  He's the director of what has to be one of the toughest shows in live television, a 14 or 16 camera shoot.  And word from "Variety" is that he may be leaving the show.

--What's in the air in Japan and in San Marino, CA?  Women in Japan and men in San Marino have the highest life expectancy in the world, 86 and 81 years, respectively according to the World Health Organization.  Maybe it's what's NOT in the air.

--Note to Jesse Ventura:  we KNOW who killed Sharon Tate.  So if you're going to waterboard Dick Cheney, pick something else to have him confess.  How about causing the recession/depression?

I'm Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them®
©WJR 2009

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