Monday, August 22, 2011

903 Fourteen Ounces of Cure

903 Fourteen Ounces of Cure

Forget the ounce of prevention and the pound of cure.  With everything getting odder,  let’s make it a Troy Ounce of prevention.

While “normal ounces” weigh 28.35 grams, “troy ounces” weigh 31.1 grams.  So that gold you just bought at 1800 dollars an ounce plus commissions and fees is really a bargain.  You’re getting an extra 2.75 grams for your money.

Doesn’t sound like a whole lot.  But think of the difference if you were buying coffee or potatoes.  It’s like stealing!

If you hold a troy ounce of gold in one hand, and a regular ounce of sugar in the other, you’re not likely to feel the weight difference.  Of course, you can EAT the sugar and take in about 100 calories.  Eat the gold and the calorie count probably won’t matter all that much.  A few flakes, as in fancy chocolate or a cake decoration will pass through you in no time.  An ounce probably would kill you.

Or you can eat both the commodities and when your teeth rot from the raw sugar, maybe your body will self-fill the cavities with gold, even though your dentist abandoned using it decades ago.

You can eat silver, too.  Enough, and you will turn blue as a smurf.  And you can eat lead.  What’s a little brain damage among friends?

The real question here is why are there two kinds of ounces?  That’s nothing more than another way to confuse and complicate something that could be simple.

What happens when the makers of packaged food catch on to this trick?  State troy ounces for the strange measurements that have overtaken the world of canned goods and they can use more reasonable and workable figures.  Recently a can of beans was labeled 13.204 ounces.  That’s a little over 12 troy ounces.  Twelve is a much better number to work with than 13.204.  It would simplify cooking.

Simple could become the new complicated.

Meantime, we could revise the aphorism to “a troy ounce of prevention is worth 14.58 troy ounces of cure.”

Just make sure the cure is generic, else your health insurance won’t pay for it.


--The alchemists tried to turn lead into gold.  Today’s gold alchemists have turned an ounce into something around $1800 (plus commissions and fees.).  Good if you’re holding, great if you’rer selling.  Not so hot if you look at what the dollars you get for the stuff can buy.

--A common protection against spammers often requires you to copy a word or two into the computer.  Most of the time, no one can read the word because they use funny type styles that arch or swoop instead of sitting on a straight line, which supposedly you can read but a spam machine can’t.  Guess what... there’s a machine now that can read those words and here comes a whole new way to spam you.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2011

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