Monday, May 07, 2012

1014 BMW Envy

1014 BMW Envy

(Note: this post contains adult content.)

So there’s this guy, Henry Wolf of somewhere in California, and he has a lawsuit against BMW about his motorcycle.  This was reported by radio station WWJ in Detroit.  It says Wolf bought this Beemer bike, a 1993 model with an after-market seat made by an outfit called Corbin Pacific.

He gets on the thing and drives it around for awhile and he gets an erection he now says lasted for almost two years.  He says erection or not, he can’t have sex and he can’t work.  So he wants Beemer and Corbin Pacific to compensate him for his emotional pain and lost wages.

An informal survey of two doctors, plus one interview the radio station conducted says, in essence, “huh?  Who’s he kidding?  But then, in true CYA (or CYP) medicalese each launches into a small lecture about compression of blood vessels... blah blah blah.  One of our medical experts says there are no data to support the guy’s claim.

Another says “I should have his problems.”  

The third said “When I had a bike I used to try and warm up the girls by giving them a vibro ride.  It never worked.”

Alas, poor Henry.  Legions of willing California Girls may be writing him to ask if they can show him how to overcome this relatively new disability.  But all he wants is to contravene the side effects.  No matter he saved hundreds, maybe thousands of dollars in Viagra expenses.

Maybe the things should come with the same warnings that as the erectile dysfunction pills:  “four hours is too long.  See a doctor.”

Can you imagine taking one of those pills on, say, a Saturday night and Sunday morning you’re still “ready?”  Find a doctor on a Sunday morning... or head to the emergency room and wait while they clean up all the shootings and stabbings and car crashes from the previous evening.  Where does something like this fit in the triage hierarchy?  

Probably the guy is uncomfortable.  Probably he doesn’t want to work because his condition might be obvious when he walks into the office or factory.  But a lawsuit?

For the record, BMW North America/Southern Michigan in Detroit says it’s not the fault of the bike, it’s the fault of the seat.  The seat maker hasn’t been heard from.


--Who writes those odd graphics with letters you put into an “e-mail this” box to prove you’re a human being and not a bot?  The machines can’t read phrases like “flongi beato” or “hapdig vlidim” in distorted letters.  But much of the time, neither can we.

--Guy next door is in full compliance with the Disabilities Act.  The squirrels have grown so fat they no longer can climb up the bird feeder to eat, leaving it completely to the birds.  But before they sued, he made sure there was a ground floor supply for the little rats, too.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2012

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