Friday, April 11, 2014

1316 A Comfortable War

Cold War II!

Maybe you haven’t noticed.  But the cold war is back.  Just like in the good old days between the end of World War II and the day Ronald Reagan personally removed every brick in the Berlin wall and Boris Yeltzin rode his open air tank into Red Square.

That current cute little guy riding bare chested on a bicycle into the same square, Vladimir, has set off events that have brought the US back into that cozy orbit that once so dominated our lives.

He had help of course.  Barack Obama and John Kerry imposed sanctions when Russia retook part of Ukraine and positioned troops to retake more.

This country has fought three major wars since WWII.  Korea, Vietnam and the middle east.

Korea was a “traditional” war.  Bang, bang. You’re dead.

Vietnam was a sneaky war.  Can’t tell friend from foe until it’s too late.

The middle east?  We don’t know who we’re fighting and guns play only a minor role, making way for airplanes that fly into buildings and suicide bombers and improvised explosive devices.

Now, once again, we know who the enemy is.  The Reds.  Although we can’t call them that anymore because American Republicans have painted themselves red.

Cold War II will have touches of modernity.  Russian spies will be wearing Armani suits, not the Robert Hall rejects of the old days.  They will have iPads.  But we know what a Russian spy looks like -- it’s not Boris Badenov -- and won’t confuse him with the innocent Emir in some sand mine or the wise old Imam down the street.

We don’t need those clunky old U-2 spy planes anymore.  We have satellites and the internet.  And so do they.

Putin and Obama have each other on speed dial.  And not just at the office.  They exchanged home and cell numbers long ago.

All of a sudden, it feels like home.  Mutually assured destruction.  Bribing mini-countries to be on one side or another.  Propaganda machinery on each side geared up and pumping.  Military exercises within sight of one another.

NASA depends on Russian rockets to get our people on and off the International Space Station.  You can bet we’ll get back into the rocket science business in a Moscow minute.

Meantime, we can invite Vlad to Disneyland or send vice president Biden to debate with him.

Ah, the good old days.  Happy days are here again!

Anyone have blueprints for a fallout shelter?


--Not that it’s necessary, but you’ll find that Stephen Colbert has more depth than the character he plays on his current late night television show.  Colbert’s taking over the CBS Late Show when Letterman retires may be the fastest replacement announcement in TV history. It took NBC forever to replace Carson.

--Fortunately, the senate doesn’t have to approve Colbert before he can take over.  But it does have to vote on the replacement of Kathleen Sebelius as Health and Human Services secretary.  The President can expect a fight no matter who he nominates even if he nominates a computer whiz.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2014

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