1451 How to End Bribery

Pity your congressional representative.  He or she will be forced to work 132 days this year, up 20 from 2014.  Why that’s almost 19 weeks.  Which leaves 33 weeks in which there is no session.

And for this, each will receive $174,000.  That’s a mere $9157.89 a week.  How can anyone get by on just nine grand a week?

Well, they are allowed to get jobs that supplement their meager income.  But considering all the good they do us, they should be entitled to more.

To keep things even, let’s get them a menu, so that we all know what we will have to contribute when we hire them as part timers.

Let’s start with the easy stuff.  Private bills. Say you want to honor your Uncle Henry with an Uncle Henry Day to mark his service to our country during the infamous secret war between the US and Surinam.  Today, the service is free, but you have to beg for it.

Put a price tag on “Uncle Henry” days to make things… um … transparent.  No more hoops to jump through… no more petitions.  Just fill at a form and send a check.  Probably a couple of thousand will do for something like that.

When you want something more lasting, the price will rise.  But knowing that prepares you.  Example: you want federal funds to build a footbridge over the Commack, NY water sump.  You figure out the cost of the bridge, build in a ten or 12 percent cost and corruption overrun and send a 20% “commission” for the legislation.

Of course a decently oiled congress member would do some smart marketing.  Something along the lines of Red Lobster-fest or the dollar menu at McDonald’s. Maybe a “Today’s Special” like the Diner down the block or the soup of the day at Denny’s.

Someone, please call Vista Print or Diner-menus-r-us to see about getting those things printed and Go Daddy to help with the website.

And someone could make a name for himself by publicly evaluating each member of congress.  Kind of like a food critic.  Award stars or chef hats and little dollar signs to indicate costs -- like Yelp.

Let’s put it all out in the open. Make honest men and women of these grafters, thieves and scoundrels.

Now, for your researching and dancing pleasure, here’s the complete compensation list.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com

© WJR 2015