Friday, May 29, 2015

1492 Church on Sunday or Jail on Monday

Meet the Ultimate Church lady, Sylvia Allen.

Ms. Allen is the president pro tempore of the Arizona state senate where she represents her home town, Snowflake.  And she’d like it if you went to church every Sunday.  In fact, she’d like it so much that she’d make it a crime not to.

She also is a Republican “activist.” Among her activities: (allegedly) violating the state’s “clean elections law” on behalf of her son-in-law, charged with improper conduct with female inmates whom he supervised as a detention officer.  Always nice to have your mother-in-law on your side.

So, messing with incarcerated women isn’t a crime. But missing church is.

Now why would a frumpy grandma type with hair the color of dollar store red and highlights by Sherwin-Williams or Crayola, someone you might mistake for a middle school cafeteria lady, want such a law?  Why to fight gun violence, of course.

Huh? Well, she says the real problem is corrupted souls.  Going to church once a week would be just like going through the car wash. At gunpoint.

Three things come to mind:  

--You can’t clean up in a soul-wash.
--You can’t establish an official church.
--You can’t run around clucking about getting the government off your back by clucking to get the government on your back.

Doesn’t the US constitution just say no to establishment of official religion?  Doesn’t that apply to states as well? (It does.)

But, she says, her proposed law doesn’t specify a religion, only forced attendance somewhere. And she wants it even if it’s unconstitutional.  Even if it’s unconstitutional enough for Scalia to oppose.

And,  Sylvia, what about those who observe the sabbath but not on Sunday?  Like Arizona’s Jews (both of them) and Arizona’s Seventh Day Adventists (they’re out there somewhere) and Arizona’s Muslims (ask the FBI, they’re on a first name basis with all of them.)

Arizona is the Hudson County, New Jersey of the southwest.  Hence, we get special people like Evan Mecham or John McCain and 23 politicians convicted of federal corruption charges over a ten year period.

This proposal has no chance of becoming law. And Sen. Snowflake knows that.  You want to go to church, of course go to church.  You want not to? Fine. Make room in the pew for someone who won’t fall asleep during the sermon.

Grapeshot (who cares edition):

-Question for Dennis Hastert:  Where does a former high school wrestling coach get all that money in the first place?

-George Pataki and Rick Santorum have declared they are candidates for the Republican presidential nomination.

-The governing body of soccer may be corrupt, say investigators in Switzerland and the US but the real problem isn’t Fifa, it’s Qatar.


--Here’s a job you don’t often see in the classifieds or on Craig’s List: Executioner.  Saudi Arabia is advertising for eight to add to its staff. Experience helpful but will train promising beginner… own Kubikiribōchō and accessories, please.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2015

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