2017 Send Me Back

Helen Thomas wanted to send me back.  Now so does trump. Okay, I'll go. Except that I was born in New York City, which as far as I know is in the United States, though many in might disagree.  

Then there are my parents' countries of origin. Dad was from Germany. Mom was from New York but of Russian extraction. Or Ukrainian or who-knows-what-ian.  So where would I re-locate?  In the middle, of course, somewhere in between. East of Germany are the Czech Republic and Poland. West of Russia is... um ... Poland and the Czech Republic. Neither seems right.

I hear it gets pretty hot in Prague this time of year.  Poland is a bit cooler, but always cold to Jews. Or hot for “us.”  So I guess if I'd czech out of here I'd Czech in there. And change my name to Vaclav. Every other male in the Czech Republic is named Vaclav.  Gotta try to fit in.  You know… assimilate.  Like some people used to do here.

Maybe the UK?  Oh, but Boris Johnson is like trump but with a stiff upper lip so I probably couldn't get the British equivalent of a green card. Hmm. I wonder if my ex would help. One side of her family came from England, back when that meant something. (Andy Borowitz reported in the New Yorker that things were getting so bad with Boris that Queen Elizabeth was moving to Canada.  This is incorrect.  Here’s the truth: She’s going to Ireland and applying for political asylum.)

Guess I'll have to stick with Prague. I wonder if they teach Czech as a second language to people closing in on 80. And I wonder if their Indian and Pakistani doctors are as good as our Indian and Pakistani doctors.

One Pakistani doctor I know went to med school in... in... I was going to say Prague. But I think it might have been Budapest.  

Didn’t trump once say his father was born in Germany?  Quick, someone send him back before he finds out his father was actually born in the Bronx.  Come to think of it, don’t.  Send him back to the Bronx where AOC might be his representative in Congress.

Also, it’s where people know how to take care of people like trump. 

(Note to the NSA and my hacker friends on the right: The above sentence is satire.)

SHRAPNEL (Bobby Three Sticks Edition):

--Our congressional representatives didn’t ask questions, they made speeches. That’s what they do.  And that’s why we might learn more from impeachment proceedings although the Republican Senate would never convict.

--Post-testimony headlines diminished the effect the Mueller interrogation may have had on the average and interested viewer. He over-exercised his right (or orders) to remain silent. But the bad cops were inept and the good ones too busy making speeches.

I’m Vaclav Rozek. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®

Comments? Send them to the former wesrichards@gmail.com

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