Monday, July 26, 2021

4744 The Running of the Bull

 Newsday Photo


A bull escaped from a farm in Moriches on New York’s Long Island and has been playing hide and seek ever since.  It’s not the running of the bulls as they have in Spain… it’s just one.  And so far, the bull is winning.


Moriches is about 70 miles east of Manhattan and about 50 west of Montauk, the eastern most tip of the island.


The papers are calling the bull Barney.  And as of posting time, he’s in his seventh day of wandering the island.


It’s not like they’re not trying to find him, corner him, catch him, release him to a bigger and more secure farm somewhere or cook him.  First, they put out some grain.




Then they sent a cow in heat -- her name is Norma Jean and she’s a babe! -- to where they thought he might be.


Still nothing.


So, maybe he’s getting fed somewhere or on something… there’s plenty of grass in Suffolk County.  Low lying lawns for the most part.  But feed is feed.  And maybe he doesn’t like girls, though that’s improbable.


Barney is coal black and pretty big.  So, he can’t hide in plain sight on a checkout line in the local King Kullen supermarket or lock himself inside the men’s room at Exxon or Starbucks. 


Hmmm… there are a couple of movie theaters within easy grazing distance of where he was last seen, and who would ask a bull to show his ticket before he disappeared into the darkness?


Is Barney dangerous?  It doesn’t appear so.  But he is a bull, after all, and you never know when some dufus kid will show up and wave a red cape at him.


The helicopter couldn’t spot him.  Thermal cameras come up with nothing.  Night vision goggles… same story. Maybe they should call out the bloodhounds. 


One aspect not considered:  maybe some local member of congress or town supervisor or a coalition of politicians kidnapped him and squirreled him away at party headquarters.  


After all, finding a live bull would produce a steady supply of bulls*it.  And what political figure could resist the public service version of the goose that laid the golden egg?


Eventually, this guy will be found.  And as a public service, we will dutifully report that especially if there’s a standoff with police or hunters in Elmer Fudd costumes.


I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ® 

Any Questions?

© WR 2021


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