Wednesday, July 02, 2008

#417 The Line

#417 The Line

Most guys shop like guys. The go into a store with a purchase in mind, head directly for the merchandise, pick it up, head for the cashier and get out of Dodge.

Women, most women, anyway, do it differently. They come in with a vague idea of what they want, and explore their way around the store until they find it, spend endless time and effort evaluating the item (which is already one of many -- after the archaeological dig through every aisle leading up to the vaguely wanted item,) and then choose one. And think about it. And more archeology. Then, maybe a return to the carefully considered item to carefully consider it some more. And to make sure they got the "best" one.

Most stuff is machine made in China. Every pair of slacks is exactly like every other pair of slacks. But the comparison is necessary. If these women worked in a medical laboratory, we'd probably have cures for cancer, arthritis, heart disease and AIDS by now.

If women were in charge of some of the real archaeological digs, we probably would have found the mummies of the famous Pharaohs a century earlier than we did.

We would have credible photos of the Loch Ness Monster.

And the Sistine Chapel would remain incomplete.

This also is why women tend not to bring their husbands or boyfriends along on the shopping trip.

But there is a subgroup within this kind of shopper. And this is the hardest for guys to understand at all. This one's a total mystery. Some people are constitutionally incapable of approaching an open checkout with no one on line.

"Look, there's no one at that checkout, let's go!" says husband.

No. Just one more look at one more thing.

And during that look, six people appear with overflowing shopping carts and the line is busy. Only THEN will she get on line.

If you head for that unoccupied line and start checking out, she will have found something else while your backs were turned to each other.

And you'll have to get on line twice.

So the trick is to suck it up. Never hit the line until you're absolutely positively certain there's nothing else to look at.


--Every ten days, like clockwork, Verizon sends a pitch to sell it's new high speed fiber optic service. When you call to say "Okay, set me up," they say it's not available yet. Now they send a pitch say "since you already have our high speed fiber optic service, how about upgrading it to our SUPER high speed fiber optic service."

--The cable company is also busy trying to sell phone service. They say unlimited free calls to the US and Puerto Rico. What country is Puerto Rico in, again?

--You can feed the homeless with leftover food from the restaurants, but they won't do it. Why? Because if one homeless guy gets a bad tomato, he might sue.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.(R)
(C)2008 WJR

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