Friday, July 04, 2008

#418 Final Warning

#418 Final Warning

You get them all the time. But do you listen? No.

A scary piece of spam in the mailbox the other day said "This Is Your Last Day..."

Should that be opened? Last day, for what? For our special offer to enlarge your whatsis? Or Your last day to get in on some super work-at-home-get-megabucks deal? Or just "your last day."

It was a tense rest of the day, to be sure.

The spam got deleted without being opened.

If it was the real last day, they must have meant someone else and sent it here by mistake. Some poor soul didn't get his final warning. That last day must of been a hell of a surprise for the guy.

Some warnings are not to be taken seriously. For example, when they post signs in the subway that warn of rat poison on the tracks. People don't ordinarily go on the tracks, so they're not really in danger. Rats DO go on the tracks. When they put up those signs, the rats, at least the literate ones react pronto. Ever hear a rat laugh?

How about Surgeon General's Warnings?

Pretty serious warning. Ah, but, then, what does he know?

"Warning: Authorized Persons Only Beyond This Point." Are you an authorized person? Maybe, maybe not. If not, you have been a person without authorization all your life. A real downer. So, who authorizes persons, anyway? And who are those people who move freely from here to "beyond this point?"

"Warning, this product contains lead, which has been found by the California Dept. of Health to cause..." whatever. That's a warning you can understand. Except right under it is another statement: "This produce meets federal safety standards." Does that mean you get lead poisoning only if you use whatever it is in California?

"Warning: Watch for Low Flying Planes." That is a real sign. Or was. What are you supposed to do when you see one, duck? Swerve into oncoming traffic? Read your "Today is Your Last Day" email while behind the wheel? What?

And now, today's Wessays Final Warning, and remember, you have been warned.

Warning. You are reading the last sentence in this blog before the Shrapnel section.


--The radio station is making a new claim. "We're number one among people who say we're their favorite radio station." Huh?

--Some radio waves travel long distances at night. So, while you may not be able to receive the local station after sunset you can pull in stuff from 1,000 miles away later in the evening. And thus you can learn that crap is crap no matter where it comes from.

--Bring back the crystal set. It made you an active participant in the broadcast. You couldn't hear anything without rubbing the cat's whisker on the crystal, so you couldn't just set the thing playing and idly go about the rest of your business.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.(R)
(C)2008 WJR

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