Friday, December 11, 2009

636 Dr. Bob and the Clam

636 Dr. Bob and the Clam

Dr. Bob is one of those guys you can't always figure. He's bright, warm, learned, an expert in several fields and sometimes so subtle it takes awhile before you know what he's saying.

The other day he's a couple of steps up the staircase and says "You know, try as I will, I can't find an online review of the movie 'The Clam that Ate Pittsburgh.'"

I'm thinking this is one of my favorite films. One small problem. It doesn't exist. But it's hard to remember, sometimes, what's real and what isn't.

I'm saying lies like "oh... one of my favorite films, right up there with "Godfather" and "A Face in the Crowd."

Then, I'm thinking "wait a minute. I know my ex and I found reference to this thing in the Newsday TV Book on April Fool's Day in maybe early 1970s.. And I tell him "wait a minute, I don't think that's a real film. I think someone at one of the syndicated TV books made that up as an April Fool joke."

But later, it turns out to be less. First there's mention of the fake film in a blog, it's a quote from the little Newsday mini "review:"

"An immense bivalve mollusk goes berserk after drinking the Monongahela River and criminally assaults Three Rivers Stadium before being turned into stone by Mr. Rogers, who has a magic horseradish. Interesting, if you check the calendar. Dubbed. Sonny Tufts, Martin Koslek, George Zucco, Lionel Atwill, Wild Bill Elliot, Sabu, Mark Damon, Iron Eyes Cody, Zasu Pitts and the entire Pirates bullpen. (2 hrs.) "

Uh... it was a joke. Was it perpetrated on Long Island or did it really get national coverage. An internet search shows only two results, the one above and the second from my own Blogspot profile:

Interests: Everything. Absolutely everything.

Favorite Movies: "The Clam That Ate Pittsburgh."

Is it possible he read that and was teasing? Or had he really heard of it earlier. Well, he did mention that there were " of Pittsburgh that should be eaten..." whether by a clam or something else.


--Hail and farewell to H. Paul Jeffers (1934-2009) a fine author of both fiction and non-fiction, an estimable radio news director and producer, wearer of Sherlock Holmes garb, conservative activist and expert on Theodore Roosevelt. Paul and I had our differences, but rather than the Limbaugh approach to liberals, he took the Bill Buckley approach, only with humility and courtesy. Cause of death, apparent heart failure, proving to his foes that he actually had a heart to fail.

--You can't do anything about the weather, but you can do something about the forecast. Bad weather systems always arrive later than the prediction. You have to wonder if storm systems don't have EZ Pass and have to wait on line at the toll booths.

--What's happened to Toyota is what happened to all the majors when they forgot they built cars and strove to be the biggest in the world. On the way to number one, or to anything unrelated to making stuff and making it better, guess what happens. You get to recall defective stuff by the millions.

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.®
©WJR 2009

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