Monday, November 07, 2011

936 Free Idea & Andy Rooney

936 Free Idea & Remembering Rooney

Here’s a free idea that’s worth gazillions of dollars.  It’s for the companies that make electrostatic cleaning cloths, like Swiffer and its competitors.  

Make socks out of the fabric.  Put them on and waltz around the floor and that’s the end of dusty floors.  Make them either disposable or washable and you’ll start a revolution.

These cloths work because the polyester fibers they’re made of take on an electrostatic charge when rubbed.  The charge picks up the dust which becomes entrapped in the cloth’s little ridges.  Eventually, the whole thing blackens, and you put a new one in your little broom or mop or whatever those things attached to the handles are called.

But why bother with a mop or handle when all you have to do is walk around the house.  It’s even easier if you have one bad leg.  Lead with the good foot, drag the second behind you.  Effort: zero.  Cost: minimal.

Actually, they could make gloves out of the stuff, too.  That means all you would have to do is caress your furniture now and then.

In our disposables-dominated society it would be just one more thing to buy and use and throw away.  But these cloths are so thin they take up almost no room in the land fill.  Or, if it’s still too much waste, you could go to your secret hideout and just burn them.  Polyester melts into tiny globs and no one would be the wiser.

In the mean time, the dusty among us wouldn’t have to be and the clean freaks among us could waste their time more profitably.

II. Andy Rooney 1919 - 2011
All of us in the cranky and occasionally humorous commentary business owe a debt to Andy Rooney who died only a about a month after retiring from CBS News’ “60 Minutes” at the age of 92.  His popularity and acclaim opened doors for us lesser lights with smaller platforms and made it legitimate once again to elevate ordinary subjects to national prominence in new ways, following in the traditions of Mark Twain and Robert Benchley.


--Corzine followup:  He quit as head of MF Global, which continues to hunt for a missing half billion in customers’ money.  That wasn’t his fault, since it vanished over much more time than he spent there.  But he did the right thing.

--Others who need to do the right thing:  Ray Kelly, George Papandreou, Conan O’Brien and the owners of every NBA team.  The reasons vary and none amount to thievery.  The world would just be a better place without these guys.

--Joblessness, what joblessness?  The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the federal payroll has expanded 12% since the start of the recession, while the private workforce has shrunk by about five percent in the same period.  Ask your congressional representative about that, if you can find him or her.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2011

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