Friday, May 13, 2016

1642 To P or Not to P

Classified ad in North Carolina’s Beaufort Banner:

Help Wanted:
A leading local restaurant is looking for an energetic, alert Bathroom Monitor.  The candidate will check patrons’ birth certificates before allowing entry to the washroom and direct guests to the appropriate facility. Experience preferred. Middle school teachers especially welcome. FT. Competitive wages, benefits incl. parking space, use of the company Beretta Nano 9mm.  Send resume to Box 5450. No phone calls, please.

Classified Ad in North Carolina’s Beaufort Banner:

Misc. Services:
Replica Birth certificates while you wait.  Top quality work, reasonable prices. Walk-ins welcome. EZ Print 245 No. Greene St. Second floor. M-F 8am-5pm, Saturday 9am-1pm. Closed Sundays.

And so it starts.  The arduous task of Today’s Most Important Issue.

America.  We beat what then was the world's most important and powerful empire, the British. We won two world wars, obliterated deadly diseases, put humans on the moon. We wrote world-changing novels, made breathtaking movies. We opened literacy to hundreds of millions of kids. We made riches where there was poverty, freedom where we started with slavery.  We split the atom.  We created farming able to feed so many of the world's hungry we had to pay farmers to let land lie fallow.  We created a middle class with economic and social power, an economy unlike any of the great royals of Europe and Asia and far stronger.

And now, we're in death-grip arguments over who can use which bathroom.

The reason: North Carolina’s politicians and others in that part of the country dislike and fear transgender people and need an excuse to put them in their place.

The cover story:  We’re protecting children and others from sexual predators.

Hold on, a minute.  Is every LGBT person and every transsexual a predator?  And if so, is a public restroom where they’re going to pred?

No and no.

The problem with the politicians is they don’t know enough

  1. LGBT people or
  2. Sexual predators.
If they knew either, they’d be a whole lot less concerned.

Heaven help the local city council member who visits a Wendy’s known as a gay hookup spot, even if it’s just to have a “Dave’s Hot ‘n’ Juicy” with some fries and a medium Sprite.

Child molesters don’t hang out in the bathroom at Red Lobster.  Winning over an unwitting kid is complicated and long term.  The kids have to be courted.  Romanced. Won over. This takes time and caution.  It takes subtlety. It takes persistence.

There’s no doubt that it’s evil.  But this isn’t speed dating or a matchmaking app.

The campaign to dehumanize transexuals has nothing to do with sexuality. It is based on opponents’ self doubt, hatred of anything that doesn’t fit their template for what “ought” to be and arrogant self righteousness.

There’s no sure antidote to bigotry, but there are antidotes to bathroom groin checks.

  1. Don’t live in North Carolina and move away if you do.
  2. Depends.
  3. Do your business before leaving home.

I’m Wes Richards.  My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to

© 2016 WJR

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