Russian spy software field tested ca 2015
Russian operatives have been courting the Trump administration since before there was one. And it’s not hard to see why.
The Russian economy is in trouble. And that’s not hard to see why either. Their only real products are oil, vodka and threatening smaller countries.
Geographically, every other country is smaller and has fewer time zones. Their once mighty military is a shadow of its former self. It’s nuclear stockpile was divided among hoarders from the pool of Generals With Nothing Left to Do, from KGB types masquerading as business tycoons and by rogue collective farmers who want to make decorative gardens surrounded by low fences made of radioactive rocks.
The price of oil ain’t what it used-ta was. Any worthy Russian can make bathtub vodka. And those smaller threatened countries are starting to laugh at the threats. Except Ukraine which really doesn’t know which way to dither.
So where does an ambitious and relatively young Neo-Soviet dictator in training like Putin turn for new ideas? Why to the United States, of course. We are the font of innovation. Just ask us!
Now while Moscow faces lean times depending on its core industry, oil, the US has for years faced lean times depending on its core industry, vehicle production.
And how have we begun to struggle away from that headache? By becoming a “service economy” and a world leader in technology.
Until recently, Russian consumer technology was an oxymoron. They’d make things like four pound cell phones, 60 inch iPads, and lithium ion batteries that couldn’t hold a charge but caught fire and exploded anyway.
Then, they learned how to use computers, starting by dismantling Osborns and Amstrads and MSDOS machines and putting them back together without having parts left over.
But these people are not dummies. Along the way they learned to hack and to spy. And to show the world how far they’ve come, to demonstrate how they are now as advanced as, say, Bulgaria or India, they hacked the American election and won it for Donald Trump.
Yes, the Russian meddling in our internal affairs was just part of a well planned sales pitch. And Presto! A new industry is born. The service economy comes to a newly empowered Russia.
They don’t really want to influence anything in America. At least not until they locate and reclaim that nuclear stockpile from the rogue generals and collective farmers with glow in the dark stone fences.
That meeting of the Russian lawyer with Trump, Jr.? It wasn’t about providing dirt on Hillary. It wasn’t about adoptions. It was to demonstrate their new found skills in computer stalking.
When Vladimir tours the world’s other leading dictatorships he’s making sales calls.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to email@example.com
All sponsored content on this page is parody.
© WJR 2017