Uh oh, problems in the Church of Guns. At long last. And a good sign. When you cut a worm in two, both halves live. When an amoeba self replicates, both cells live. When you cut an organization in half, it’s the beginning of the end.
The Free Enterprise division, now a full and self declared denomination has broken away from the Governmentalists. There’s trouble in Semiautomatic World.
Dick’s Sporting Goods announced this week it would no longer sell long guns of mass destruction. Their motive sounded public spirited, but in the long gun long run, it’s going to be good for business, according to advocates of corporate responsibility.
Wal-mart, much bigger than Dick’s, has taken a baby step. But at least it’s a step. Its raised the age of consent to buy a gun to 21 from 18. That won’t do much to change the spread of the Faith, because teens will still hang out in doorways and parking lots. They’ll find adults to do their dirty work just as they do with alcohol. But it’s something.
Then there are the Governmentalists, technically the Church of The Holy Second. They’re outraged. They feel betrayed. And trump, a sect of his own, seems confused about where to go with this. The other day he said “something” needs to be done about gun proliferation. Stand by for the Huckabee briefing in which she says “here’s what he meant…” And maybe trump will issue his own statement saying, essentially, “I never said that.”
NBC and the Washington Post will promptly locate the quote and the recording of it, play it 20 minutes after the denial and no followers will care. Just the Donald being the Donald.
The National Rifle Association has proposed a peace meeting. If real religions can hold associations of rivals, why not gun worshippers? These groups are well intentioned, but eventually they start fighting about the shape of the table.
And the NRA has its own problems. Corporate sponsors are fleeing in the same way they fled when Limbaugh linked medical assistance for birth control to prostitution and when Don Imus slurred up college women’s basketball players.
Both men survived, and the NRA will too. But both survived with diminished capacity.
And so will the guns & ammo makers’ mouthpiece.
--Republican legislators in Georgia have denied a big tax break promised to Delta Airlines for severing its ties with the NRA. Gee. Government getting involved in the business decisions of private companies… who knew?
--It didn’t take the NFL long to replace Papa John’s which had severed ties over the way the league handled kneeling players. Pro football’s new BFF is Pizza Hut. Gee… they could have picked Ray’s Famous or Ray’s Original Famous or Famous Ray’s Original or 100 other joints where the pies are actually real pizza instead of replicas.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to firstname.lastname@example.org
All sponsored content on this site is parody.
© WJR 2018