Wednesday, January 16, 2019

2039 Everyone's Above the Law Except You




One of today’s big questions: Is the President above the law? Can he be formally charged with anything from crossing against the green, to obstruction of justice, collusion to murder?  Nah. Never happen.

But what about the rest of us?  

Well, let’s see… some trumplings have been convicted of stuff. Some have been sentenced.  Some of those sentences will ultimately be served -- at least during the endless string of appeals that surely will follow.  

If you commit murder and they catch you, you’ll likely be convicted.  And you likely will be sentenced in the range between “suspended” to “time served” to death. And again, if it’s a jail or prison term, if you don’t try to escape, don’t assault a guard and do mind your manners, you’ll get early release because

--You’re not a bad person.
--You had a rough childhood.
--You’re turning your life around.
--Jails and prisons are too crowded and private incarceration companies can’t build new facilities fast enough to accommodate demand.
--She was asking for it.
--He deserved what he got when I shot him.

Interesting, the fine point they put on the case when you’re accused of killing someone. Some people get off with probation. Some get a few years.  Some get lots of years.  Some get life.

Some get two or more life sentences.  Odd… no one ever serves the second one.  See that squirrel over there?  That’s really John Wayne Gracy in his second life.  But he never served his second life term.
Take this rifle. You know what to do.  Just don’t violate the squirrel's rights. And make sure you get a translator to read him his Miranda Rights in Squirrelese.

So we go down a list of offenses.  Things like burglary, robbery, arson, carrying more than two joints, having more than three condoms in your handbag while walking up 8th avenue.  Shoplifting.

The lower your crime, the surer you are of cruisin’ up the river.

It’s really tough to convict a murderer, colluder or obstructer of justice.  They get lots of column inches and air time.  They get high priced fear-inducing lawyers.

You snatch some underwear from Victoria’s Secret and if you're 18 years old or older, you’ll do time.  Why? Because the AP won’t carry the story and Alan Dershowitz is unavailable.  You get whichever down on his luck lawyer they can scrape for you out of last night’s drunk tank. Even if he hasn’t bathed this week and his only suit has a rip in the left knee.

Crime doesn’t pay? Sure it does, if it’s bad enough.  Ask any of the men and women protesting their innocence in any lockup in America.

Bottom line:  Do the crime you won’t do the time unless you’re poor, a minority, unrepentant, a kid or have a lawyer with bourbon breath and a rip in his pants.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
© WJR 2019


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