Tuesday, December 24, 2019

4531 The Piltdown President

Prehistoric man swings more modern caveman’s club.

Maybe Piltdown man wasn’t a hoax, after all.  Back in the era when PT Barnum was considered non-fiction, someone claimed to unearth the skull of the missing link -- what supposedly came b
just before humans.  The “discoverer” was an archeology hobbyist named Charles Dawson.  And he said he made the discovery in Piltdown, which is near Sussex which is in England.

This happened in 1912 which itself is often considered pre-historic.

It took actual archeologists and a bevy of other scientific types to conclusively “prove” that Piltdown Man was a hoax.  That happened in 1953.  It took 41 years to figure out that Dawson might have made the whole thing up.  Apparently, the bone fragments smelling of hide glue didn’t set off any alarms.

Piltdown man was said to be half a million years in England’s past.  But current thinking has changed.  Put an underdeveloped brain into a critter with a big, loud mouth and what do you get?

That could be the answer about this guy as a throwback and how he set off the reappearance of throwbacks hiding in the closets of their caves.  Those described by the scientists as “fully developed but small-brained.”

The Piltdown skull seems to have been cobbled together with spare parts.  The so-called hoaxers used a handy British skull fragment and some bones from ancient animals and made it look like something half man and half ape.

The only remaining question is how did Piltdown stay out of sight for so long. We’d know more if we had a skull with an open mouth and orange hair.

You have to credit this guy Dawson.  He pulled a fast one on practically everyone.  And those everyones spent longer than the average lifetime of a Piltdowner proving there was no such thing.

But what if they were wrong?  What if there really was a Piltdown Man?  Well, it’s starting to look like there may have been. When we see bones, we don’t also see body fat or development. 

The original skull is still around. Maybe we should dress it up in a fatsuit. Hang a too-long red tie around his neck and compare this with you-know-who.

--Boeing fired its CEO because of planes that crashed and killed people. But that’s not enough. CEOs are essentially “idea people” and paper pushers.  There’s a whole string of lackeys standing on the line behind the top guy and executing the screwups for him.

--Figurehead Chief Justice Roberts says he will consult with his “inner umpire” in conducting the Senate trial of the impeached president. Who’s he kidding?  The fix is already in.

The staff and management of Wessays™ wish you a happy holiday filled with joy and well-aged fruitcake.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Comments:  Please send to wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2019

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