Friday, April 20, 2018

1934 Rudy

Attention squeegee men of Washington and Florida.  It’s time to run and hide.  Because here comes RUUUUDY. The man who put you out of work and until now had plenty of time on his hands.

America’s Mayor, Rudolph Giuliani is coming to town to help get trump off Mueller’s hook.  At least that’s what the news people say. We haven’t had a philandering story about Rudy in years.  But the leopard can’t change and this White House doesn’t mind a little close order drill, though trump gets firsties.

You may remember the former mayor’s “valiant” faking following the attacks on the World Trade Center on 9/11.

Just remember this: on 9/10/01, Rudolph W. Giuliani couldn’t have won an election for dog catcher.  And remember that the late social philosopher Jimmy Breslin called him “A small man in search of a balcony,” which as you students of mid-century history know was a reference to Benito Mussolini.

So after faking competence in 01 and trying to muscle Mike Bloomberg to delay the start of his mayoralty of New York, establishing a private security company of dubious distinction, running a failed presidential campaign and performing his pain in the butt clown act in various venues, Rudy’s found a home.

Let’s hope he’s as successful in ridding America of Robert “Bobby Three Sticks” Mueller as he was in prosecuting as a US Attorney with a splendid record of having his convictions overturned.

He has all the characteristics of a mini-trump.  He cheats on his wives. He hires incompetents and/or crooks for big jobs and he changes major viewpoints more often than you change shirts. (But not more often than Dinkins changed shirts.)

A contest between Mayor Combover and Bobby three sticks is like a batting contest between Joltin’ Joe and the Tin Man.  

The BS has already started.  Giuliani says he “has great respect for Robert Mueller…” which is Rudy-speak for I’m going clobber the SOB.

And trump long ago revived “Lock (Hillary) up” and other diversions and false equivalencies.  

Nope. Theatrics and courtroom and interrogation room showmanship is not going to win this case.

But that’s Rudy’s one identifiable talent. A show biz president needs a telegenic lawyer who is on the speed dials of every guest booker at CNN, MSNBC, Fox, the Fishing Channel and all the shopping channels.

trump’s lawyer’s lawyer’s lawyer says Giuliani won’t have anything to do with the New York cases -- Stormy Daniels and her roommates in the brothel.  Good thing, too.  Because once trump fires three sticks and his Justice Department handlers and then pardon’s his entire staff, there’ll still be the New York stuff. And since those aren’t federal crimes, there is no presidential pardon.

What can this schmeckle add to the team of losers already in trump’s bullpen? Name recognition and… and… well, nothing.  But you can bet DC will have more dirty windshields than usual. And fewer turnstile jumpers.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2018

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