Monday, November 05, 2018

2015 This Can't Possibly Be the Flu

Caution: Mild adult content

Image result for evil looking pharmacist

It's a fact.  A medical fact. With decades and decades of scientific know-how behind it.  If you get a flu shot and you have flu-like symptoms, it's... something else.

A cold. Maybe.  Some other dread-gonk that's floating around at work or at school or because you forgot to wash your hands after you changed the oil. 

Just not flu.

Fever combined with shivering?  Just your imagination. It's something else.  Coughing?  Just something stuck in your throat. For five days?

Okay, gather 'round conspiracy lovers and stand by for a look inside the much feared though little known Mr. K Theory.  It is named for the druggist nearest home and while it has never actually been proven, and has nothing to do with flu shots. customers of the evil little man behind the counter named this great idea for him. Credit where credit is due.

Today, when one wants to buy condoms, you walk into the drug store and there's a huge and open display.  More choices than anyone can handle.  You walk into the aisle, Kleig lights go on so the cameras can see you better.  And depending on the neighborhood, you hear a recording of "Happy Days are Here Again," "Dueling Banjos" or "I Get Around" by either Tupac or the Beach Boys.

You find what you want, hit the self-checkout, pay your money and head out.

In an earlier time, you had to skulk into the drugstore, pretend to look around, gather up a box of tissues, maybe a toothbrush or toothpaste... a few little things... then bring it to the register.  

If your classmate Junie Gozonga was working the counter, you'd have to ask her to "see the pharmacist." She'd know why because... well, she was every teen boy's dream... but she'd snicker and get Mr. K to shuffle out.  

You'd ask him for a pack of Trojans.  If he liked you, he'd shuffle back, get one and sell it to you.  If he didn't, he'd say "ONE PACK OF TROJANS, COMING UP," so you'd be even more embarrassed than you already were.

If he liked you, he'd ask if you really wanted the toothpaste or hair tonic or any other stuff you had put down.  He understood a disguised mission.  And that gave you the opportunity to decline.  If he disliked you, he'd just charge you for all the stuff.

Now, here's where the Mr. K theory gets to work.  There was a thought among the youth back then, that Mr. K secretly put pinholes in random packs of condoms.  And you know where that can lead.

Mr. K probably is long gone. He was old even back then. Or he looked old to us kiddie customers.  And no one puts pinholes in condoms these days.

But are there druggists who put clear syrup in bottles that once contained flu shots? Maybe this is how evil can overcome scientific fact.

--Perhaps you can think of other examples about how evil overcomes scientific fact.  We have an idea or two. How about you?

I'm Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you're welcome to them. ®
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© WJR 2018

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