Friday, November 30, 2018

2025 Amazin' Dot Com





One day last week, a strange package arrived at the doorstep.  It’s that time of year when mail and TV and online orders can appear at odd times.

Usually, the post office driver or the UPS or FedEx and in some cases the rare DHL deliverer leaves the package, rings the doorbell and dashes off to the next stop.

This time, it arrived by drone.  A little thing that looked like a Rhumba vacuum cleaner with moon lander feet dropped the package and flew off, empty-footed.

In the package containing lipstick, nail polish, a paint brush, an aluminum paint tray, a package of liners, a set of extra long banjo strings a shipping list and a receipt from MasterCard.

We didn’t order any of this stuff.  But we’d talked about ordering it.  Just the two of us. In a room where Cortana, Siri, Alexa, “Hey Google,” and the AFLAC Duck could not have overheard us.  Alone. Sitting on a park bench with no shady characters hanging around.

“It’s from Amazon, right?” She said.  No… it’s from Amazin’.com. Whatever that is.

Immediately the Wessays (™) research department sprang into action.  What is “Amazin.com?”

Well, there it was. The Amazin’ website.  The online retailer that reads your mind, knows your MasterCard number (including expiration date and the reverse side security code) and can judge your degree of sincerity about wanting stuff.

Free Shipping! Free Returns! Order with NO clicks.

Wow.  Automation. Artificial Intelligence. It’s… um… Amazin’.

Does Bezos know about this technology?  Does the Board of Elections?  How about CVS? Match.com? The process servers?

Is it even legal?  (We might get an answer if Legal Zoom has adopted the technology.)

We like the free returns part.  We’re really not ready for the paintbrush, tray and liners.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to wesrichards@gmail.com
All sponsored content on this page is fake.  So is Amazin’ Dot Com.
© WJR 2018










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