Wednesday, May 03, 2006

(78) Raining Apples & Oranges

(78) It’s Raining Apples & Oranges

Have you ever tried to figure this one out? “That’s comparing apples and oranges.”

Well, let’s see. Both are fruit. Both are more or less spherical. An average “Granny Smith” weighs about the same as an average Sunkist. Both grow on trees. They are generally close to each others readings on a spectrometer. Both are good sources of various kinds of vitamins and fiber.

There are, of course, some differences. There is no city known as “The Big Orange.” There could be. But there isn’t. (And would that New York would try to disown that disgraceful “Big Apple” nickname!) There are several Orange Counties. The Research Staff at the Wessays Secret Seaside Laboratory cannot find an “Apple County” in the United States.

There are songs about apples, but not many because very little rhymes with “apple.” There are fewer songs about oranges, because “orange” does not have a direct rhyme.

But basically, comparing apples and oranges seems perfectly okay, though we shun it.

Then there’s the “dog-person” “cat-person” conflict which is as artificial and artless as the apples and oranges “dichotomy.”

We’ve hooked characteristics to these animals (sometimes accurately, sometimes not,) and we’re gonna stick with them no matter what!

Say the word “Dogfight,” and you conjure up images of World War II fighters over the skies of the North Sea… valiant Allied Defenders, keeping the spread of Nazism from the shores of The Empire.

“Catfight.” What? Two women in a Honky-Tonk. Hairpulling, maybe a small caliber handgun.

Cats are sneaky, dogs are loyal? Tell that to the late Grey The Cat, who was neither.

Tell that to Boomer the Dog, who is both.

Cats are lazy, dogs work hard.

Not always the case. Cats take catnaps, between bouts of mouse-chasing, and during the season the mass murder of cicadas. Dogs sleep about the same amount as cats. They just make more of a show of it when they work – like pulling sleds or rescuing people from building collapses.

Shocking revelation: It’s okay to like both cats and dogs. You can even keep them under the same roof.

Where is it written, please, that if you like one you “can’t” like the other?

Dogs and Cats mix like… well, apples and oranges.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2006 WJR

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