Friday, May 12, 2006

The Socks Were Nothing

83 The Socks Were Nothing

You know how clothes drying machines lose socks, right?

You put in several pairs and fewer come out, but never an even number.

They vanish and sometimes return but sometimes not.

O, for those days.

After the Big Move from New York to Pennsylvania, a few missing socks would be chickenfeed.

Important things have “gone missing.” (see the earlier Wessay about “Went Missing… Went Dead…” (11/28/05)

Where is the title to the car? (Need to register the thing in the new state.)

Where is the passport (need to prove identity.)

Where is the 1921 Stella Guitar?

Where is the deed to this house?

Where is the Brooks Brothers suit?

Where is the can of “Yuban 100% Colombian coffee?”

They are not, as you might think, in the clothes dryer.

Nor are they in any of the boxes labeled “Important” or “Immediate.”

They are gone.

Where are the Elvis “Sun” records?

Where is the power drill?

The things that no one would ever miss or need or provoke the question “Why is that still around?” are in easy reach. The yellow ceramic Hippo. The tubs of Morton’s Salt. The Sears Craftsman circular saw. The “Today Show” name badge.

The socks were nothing compared to this stuff.

They haven’t made 1921 Stella guitars since 1921.

The deed is proof of ownership.

Yuban doesn’t come in 100% Colombian anymore.

The drill was a symbol of suburban life.

The Elvis records are both unplayable and priceless.

But the ceramic hippo is right there on the window sill.

Where is the toilet paper?

Where is the Mennen Skin Bracer?

Where is the Grey Goose Vodka?

Where is the shredder?

Where is the “A” train.

Eventually, most of this stuff will turn up.

Probably be in back of the dryer.

Or maybe it’s on the moving truck, last seen heading from Moote Pointe, PA to Fresno.

I'm Wes Richards, my opinions are my own, but you're welcome to them.

(c) 2006 WJR

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