Wednesday, June 12, 2019

3001 When Texas Hands You a Lemon

Gregg Abbott, the only recent Texas governor to not (yet) run for President, has signed a law allowing unlicensed kids to operate lemonade stands without first securing a license.  This spectacular issue has been moldering around Austin for about four years. Things move slow in the low i.q. states.

It all started when cops in Overton TX, Pop. 2500, made two sisters shut down their stand. They were trying to raise money to take their dad to a theme park for Fathers’ Day.  Andria and Zoey Green did not have a peddler license.  Soon, they won’t need one.

But this being Texas, the girls aren’t home free yet.  Here’s the catch: the law doesn’t take effect until September first.  September?  Well, in Overton, it’s still pretty warm in September.  90-ish, most days.  But by that time, the consumer demand for Lemonade probably has been satisfied for the summer.

Chances are, police won’t enforce the old law now that the Governor has signed the new one.  But -- again -- it’s Texas.  So you never can tell.

Here’s a workaround.  Adults and older kids can hire front-children.  Little Betsy and her younger brother Billybob can be used as stand-ins while the real owners are a couple of almost-teens from around the block or --Texas -- the next ranch over.

This works in big city construction jobs where minority-owned companies sometimes get a nudge in the contract selection, so white guys hire black front men and women to sit at desks, collect good salaries and have zero input on operations.  No one gets fooled except the people who believe that the CEO who is African American named the company Copenhagen Associates after his great grandfather from Denmark.

Meantime, here’s to you, Governor Abbott (R-Wichita Falls).  Just don’t get caught buying a cup of juice from a couple of fake kids before September.

--You have to love politicians.  All of a sudden, the Justice Department caves on sending the Mueller report to congress.  And that has nothing -- Ab-so-lootly nothing to do with the congressional decision not to charge the Attorney General with contempt.

--Thanks to fellow Long Islander Sean Hannity for highlighting all of those health problems Biden supposedly has… very much like the health problems Hillary Clinton didn’t have. Oh, and Sean, babes, if you have access to Biden’s medical records, you ought to share them unless somewhere there’s an alternative universe in which there’s Patient Rabble-rouser confidentiality.

--Stopped clock Dept: trump is right, the “merger” of United Tech and Raytheon is wrong because it could lead to increased prices for the military.  It doesn’t matter what he thinks.  But it does matter when the hedge fund that’s heavy into United says the same thing and may have the power to top the deal.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
© WJR 2019

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