Note to beachgoers in
Ocean City, NJ: Moote Pointe Marvin is available to solve your seagull
infestation without sending in hawks, falcons and owls to scare them off.
The gulls were there first. They’re not going away. But they should be tamed.
According to published
reports, the gulls at Ocean City are so nasty, they swoop in and steal food out
of peoples’ hands. They strike fear into the hearts of innocent children
because up close and closing in at high speed, a seagull seems fierce and
dangerous instead of the beautiful, graceful sky-floaters they really are.
Moote Pointe had a similar
problem. Those familiar with these posts know MP is a small hamlet on the
immediate south shore of western Long Island, New York. In winter, the
birds go hunting for shell fish in the ocean, grab what they catch in their
beaks and fly it to the highways, where they drop them, then land and eat from
the shells they’ve opened.
But in summer, the
beaches are full of people working on their tans and each other and chasing
after their kids. So, the gulls stay where the food is and eat what they can.
This problem is not
exclusive to the waterfront. It extends to nearby parking lots where
people sometimes leave empty or mostly empty bags of food on the ground.
One particular Moote Pointe lot is served by three burger joints, a bagel
bakery and a Chinese takeout.
Marvin was job hunting
there one day and he had a brilliant idea.
Next morning, he bought
a few small bags of fries and scattered them, unopened, in the parking
lot. Then he cornered the manager of the property -- already frazzled
about the gulls -- and showed him the ground chaos he’d created. Mr. Manager
was aghast when Marvin said he did it on purpose. Threatened to call the
cops, all that. No, says Marvin, when the birds finish, I will sweep up the
trash they leave behind.
And that’s what he
did. The rest of the afternoon, no more gulls.
Mr. Manager’s reaction?
“You’re hired.”
So each morning in
summer, Marvin goes to one of the fast food places that are open early enough,
buys bags of fries. Places them strategically in spots on the outer edges
of the parking lot and waits with his broom.
It’s not as easy for a
gull to open a bag and then a box and eat the fries as it is to drop an
immobile clam on a concrete road. So the gulls have to work for their
food. Sometimes, when he’s feeling
flush, Marv will buy a bacon egg and cheese biscuit, just one among the bags.
You should see the attention that bag gets.
The folks at Ocean City
can stop hiring jet fighter birds to attack gulls. All they have to do is
make a feeding station or two and the gulls won’t bother the beachgoers.
They’ll be too busy pecking holes in paper bags and pulling out the contents.
I’m Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Comments: Send ‘em
here: wesrichards@gmail.com
© WJR 2019
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