In early December 2005
when Wessays™ was in its infancy we suggested that Judge Judy of TV fame run
for President of the United States. Some of the historical references are
dated (Scalia is dead, for example. And
there are fewer than ever members of congress who’d qualify for some of the job
alternatives listed below.) But the general ideas stand.
No one paid any
attention. But again, her time has come. Here is the original:
It started with “The
People’s Court.” Cases settled on television programs, usually by moderately
funny, moderately sensible judges who’d run out of steam in real courtrooms or
other political venues, and now slather on the makeup and appear under the
lights to render “final” decisions in “real” cases.
There now are at least
a half dozen of these characters on your TV screen, all of them with styles
that wouldn’t work in a “real” courtroom, but do fine as entertainment.
But wait.
There’s a real chance
for life changing reality here.
It’s two fold.
Fold one: such
programs can help television fight off the internet to become the center of
America’s cultural life. That throne is threatened in ways it hasn’t been since
it was established in 1947.
Fold two: these judges
really DO make sense most of the time.
Think about that
original “People’s Court” guy, Joseph Wapner. A real judge in real life and a
TV judge in retirement. Smart decisions. Smart remarks. Judge Mathis, Judge Joe
Brown and more. Same story.
But the Leader of the
Pack has to be Judith Scheindlin. Judge Judy. She is a combination of
everyone’s Brooklyn Jewish Mother and her sister, the Know-It-All Aunt.
Why waste this
valuable resources on what are essentially trailer park types suing one another
for small amounts of money after crashing each other’s trucks, lending (or
giving) each other money and failing to pay rent?
Put her in the Oval
Office and let her get the job done.
Example: Judy to
Gigunda Motors: “Waddaya mean you wanna take these guys’ pensions away? You
made a deal. No one put a gun to your heads. Stockholders? Sir, listen to me
carefully. Do you know what the word ‘risk’ means?”
Example: Judy on Iraq:
“Democracy? THIS is DEMOCRACY?” You’re getting people KILLED over there. Iraqis
are FREE? What about all those women running around without schooling and
wrapped like mummies!”
Of course, we don’t
know her politics. So here’s an alternative: “You guys have to straighten out
what’s going on there. Build a White House, build a Capitol, build a Supreme
Court and figure out that you can’t trade one dictator for another.”
Put the rest of the TV
judges on a panel and get rid of congress. Checks and balances remain. But no
more lobbyists. No more pork barrel. No more gerrymandering.
But DO keep The
Supremes. Kind of a counterbalance to the counterbalance. We need a little
dignity. And a little controversy to keep things rolling along.
(2019 update)
Gotta re-think that
Supreme Court thing.
(Resume 2005 version)
If you put Congress
out of business, you can always let the former Senators and Reps go on
Unemployment Comp and then get jobs that better suit them. Like running all
night gas stations and working the counter at Dunkin’ Donuts.
But who would hire
guys like Scalia, Thomas and Alito?
I'm Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you're welcome to them.™
© 2005, 2019 WJR
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