Friday, October 25, 2019

4513 Sorry, We're Closed

MOOTE POINTE NY (Wessays Wire) -- The local branch of the First National Bank of Moote Pointe used to be open on Saturdays. It no longer is. But Juan and Betsy still show up, open the doors and sit there from 9 am to 11:59.  

They’re there for a special purpose, which is to tell incoming customers that they’re closed.  Never doubt that the MPFNB treats its customers tenderly. A lesser bank, like, oh, say, Chase or Capital One would simply post a sign on the door.  FNB likes the personal touch.

Customer One comes in around 9:30. He wants to buy a money order for $273.59. 

Juan: Do you have an account here?

Customer One: Yes, sure.  I’d like to take the money from my savings account.

Juan: Please see Betsy in the next window.

Betsy: I’m sorry sir, but we can’t do withdrawals on Saturdays because we’re closed.  But you can use the ATM.  

The ATM dispenses only 20s. Customer One presents Betsy with $300 in 20s.  Betsy issues the money order. Then she rummages through her purse.

Betsy: We owe this guy $6.41. And all I have on me is $3.50. Can you help?

Juan rummages through his pockets and comes up with $1.14.

Customer: Don’t you have a cash drawer?

Juan: No, sir. Not on Saturday. We’re closed.

Betsy: Can you come back on Monday and we’ll straighten this all out?

Customer: You open after I have to be at work and close before I can get here.  I want to see a manager.

Betsy: I’m sorry, sir, we’re closed. The manager will be in first thing Monday morning.

Soon after, Customer Two comes in to deposit her paycheck. 

Customer two:  Please deposit this in my checking account, and please give me $200 of it in small bills,

Juan: Um… we’re closed.  We don’t have any cash.

Two: What do you mean you’re closed. The door is unlocked, the lights are on and you and that girl are standing at your windows.

Betsy:  I’m sorry, ma’am but we have no cash because we’re now closed on Saturdays.  But you can use the night deposit. Just fill out the slip and put it and your check in the envelope. Your money will be ready at 9 am on Monday.

Two: I want to talk to a manager.

Juan: The manager will be in at 9 o’clock Monday.  It looks like there’ll be a few ahead of you wanting a conference.  I can sign you up for an appointment.

Two stalks out. One is outside waiting for her.

One: I can lend you 20 from my change, even though they still owe me six-something.  Or we can stand in the doorway and block it so those two can’t leave at 11:59.

Two: They’ll probably call the cops.  Maybe we should pose as a homeless couple and panhandle.

I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ® 
Please address comments to
… Or just drop me a note at the First National Bank of Moote Pointe. I’ll get back to you first thing Monday morning.
© WJR 2019

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