It doesn’t matter whether she’s white, black, Latina Native
American (A real one,) big, small, kind or the Great Dictator. You fail to
listen to this woman at your peril. We will take no baloney before its time. Or
during. Or after.
Would you cross your
grandmother? Of course not! You wouldn’t dare. Are you white? Are you black? Are you
Hispanic? Asian? Native American? Native Alaskan, Hawaiian or Martian? It
doesn’t matter. Grandma rules. You know that.
And this is why this
space has long advocated that the world be governed by a committee of
grandmothers over 70 with all their faculties facule-ting. Why? Because
they’re all alike. And they don’t take crap from anyone. Certainly not from you
or me.
Who overfeeds you?
Who comforts you in your time of woe? Who believes in you? Who calls your BS
when you’re posturing? It’s grandma, that’s who.
Who has common sense
even if without an education? Who sees life for what it is and for what it can
be? It doesn’t matter where they’re from. The Old Country. The
Confederacy. The east or west coast. From England or Ireland or Zimbabwe, or
Bombay or Buenos Aires. From Poland or Denmark or the moon. At a certain
age, they coalesce into the Great Universal Grandmother.
The World Council of
Grandmothers will not allow you to make a fool of yourself. It will not
allow you to start a Ponzi scheme or a race riot. It will not allow your water
to be poisoned or your air unfit to breathe or your oil pipeline to undermine a
burial ground. It will not allow scoundrels to steal your hard-earned
money. It will not allow you to do stupid stunts that come back to hit you in
the ass.
Why women and not
men? C’mon guys, you know why. They’ve seen all the Stupid Male Tricks
and been hurt by them. And they’ve all worked around the arrogant and
self-important men in their lives … and yours.
Grannies come in many
forms. Some are haughty, some are kindly. Some are fire-breathing
liberals, some are smug conservatives. But all that is window
dressing. They are grannies first. They love you and want what’s best for you.
But even more important, they love you and they know what’s best for
you.
Oh, yeah. Old people are
… well … old fashioned. But guess what? The value of values doesn’t change just
because you have access to Cortana or Alexa or “Okay Google” and they don’t or
don’t know about it or care about it.
The World Council of
Grandmas is the answer to what’s wrong. Fail to listen at your peril. And
remember this: You haven’t evolved as a critter for the past 10-thousand
years. You only think you have.
I’m Wes Richards. My
opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments
to wesrichards@gmail.com
This column is dedicated
to the memories of Julia Satlien (1865-1964) and Anna Rotholz 18??-1937.) And
no, I don’t use real names when the Internet asks for “mother’s maiden name.”)
© WJR 2020
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